Final hearing FDR- 9 months how to stop ex from being able to still claim on my assets accrued post separation date?

[Jabbathehurt]

My ex is rinsing me of assets he has asked for 80 percent of value of house. Hasn’t yet asked for pension but likely will also want a larger share of my pension given my higher income. It is very unlikely he will settle as he lives comfortably with his parents in a 4 bed house and his brother pays his legal fees. He has no savings and only 50k in pensions. ( on purpose, he has spent all his earnings so his net worth is dropping or remaining stagnant). He’s just waiting for a windfall from me however if this goes to a final hearing the next available date is in 8-9 months. I can’t seem to get my solicitors to enforce a cut off date for all finances. We have lived separately since February, what can I do to stop him from making further demands on my accrued assets and wasting my money and time given I’m the one ending up paying for legal fees on both sides.

@PocketSand Thanks and Good. His 3 most recent payslips shows an income of 2.4k, no substantial outgoings as he pays no rent to his parents. However he buys an awful lot of clothes, audiobooks, coffee and has a steak at a restaurant monthly. Hence has still nothing in his bank account. I’m glad he cannot ask me to help maintain his lifestyle.

My budget for MPS was less than a third of Form E budget. None of the expenditure you have listed would be considered essential.

Easier said than done but try not to stress or give headspace to unreasonable claims. It’s just a tactic to ramp up the pressure. Focus on your own case and presenting evidence to support its reasonableness.

Done the hearing. Settled to give him 350k cash and 127k of my pension pot. Which is about 55 percent in his favour. He wasn’t happy. He kept asking for more because he needed a car. Barrister had to tell him he had to learn to drive first and then get a car on finance like everyone else. Greedy Fool.

Hire a Forensic accountant to prove who spent what and where finances have historically gone. you paying all child related expenses is in your favour. he spent his money on him. who pays for kids and where will they live going forward. For now don’t occur any money in any savings have a great Christmas take kids on holiday hire the best legal team you can.

It's shit but I can't see why this would be treated any differently from a low/no earning woman seeking best outcome from high earning ex? Mn would be telling her to take him for everything.

@NellieElephantine you’re right, it’s exactly the same, I have sympathy for those men, and there are a few who share the domestic work and are also breadwinners. Unfortunately the scum I am divorcing is not one of them.

Assume he didn't get his hands on the kids ISAS?
Someone who asks to be given a share of his kids savings is not a good person.
I hope this means you can now get things sorted quickly and move on and rebuild without him dragging you down.

If the kids ISA's have a clause that nobody can access the money and will go directly to the kids when they turn 18, then either parents can't make any claim against it unless something happens to the kids.

But there are lots of parents who will "invest" in their kids ISA's, etc to exclude that money out of the marital pot.

@Fluffyhoglets ha! I’ve been putting money in since they were born. He couldn’t claim anything , but what he did claim was that they were my investments and apparently that increases my net worth! So more for him to grab. The idiot. He then in his settlement proposals stated that I could be given the permission to continue managing the kids ISA. The bloody cheek! I’m the only one putting money into it!!

I hope you can rebuild yours and your children's life. I agree with you about the court systems being dire. You are well rid

@Luddite26 thanks. It’s a pain, they always say oh you’re financially stronger, you’ll recoup losses. Here we are talking about 350k plus 54 percent of my pension, to borrow that amount, I would be paying interest of 200k over 24 years and a mortgage of 2k a month. The asshole has financially screwed me over after not contributing and getting a windfall which he will undoubtedly spend.

It's disgusting. And harder to rebuild when you are THE caregiver for your children.

@Luddite26 The Supreme Court has just ruled in Standish vs Standish that pre matrimonial assets are not automatically in the pot come divorce finance. That’s quite a big change. Possibly would not help op, but can protect assets built up prior to marriage.

@OhDear111 is this news? Unfortunately it is 1 day too late. Also it might be different in families with immense wealth where once both sides are adequately housed then you can give credence to who contributed what pre or post marriage. I don’t know if this is the case law. Given it was just my assets having to house both sides, judge included all premarital assets and pensions. Basically if you don’t have 1 million in your pension pot you would be living in poverty and hence an equalisation of pensions is needed.

@Jabbathehurt It’s July 25 judgement. It’s about assets before marriage. Plenty of lawyers have published opinions on what it means. I’m not a lawyer but it’s important because the Supreme Court is the top court.

Question: I’ve got to pay out 54% of my pension to the asswipe. I am considering cashing in on all my pension funds/ shares and re-investing them in high-risk EFT options ( eg gold/ mining). Performance for some of these funds have been 40-50% increase over the last 3 months. Screw it if I lose big money ( it’s only half mine now). Any potential repercussions? Can the asshole come back and reopen the settlement and say he wants his money back if there is a loss? Obviously if there is a huge gain he won’t be complaining.