Financial settlement - panicking

[CucumberMelon]

Hi, this is going to be long so apologies for that.

My husband has left me within the last month after a period of mental abuse/cheating. Last year, he also revealed to me that he had been hiding £15K of credit card debt from me which we paid off with some extra borrowing on a remortgage (he has since taken a loan out and paid me that back, which is odd behaviour) I also found out that the job he was made redundant from last year - he was actually sacked for bullying two female colleagues. Apparently he had multiple warnings before they eventually sacked him. His new workplace are unaware of this which I find terrifying but this all outlines what type of character he turned out to be.

We were married for 2.5 years but living together for 5 years in total.

I paid all of the deposit on the marital home from a settlement from my first divorce. In the same settlement I was also awarded a share of my ex husband's pension - the pot now stands at around £300K. This has grown due to passively over the last five years and I don't contribute anything towards it.

My STBXH has nothing. No assets or anything. He is feckless with money and has debts.

I have spoken to a solicitor who gave me a really grim view of what he could take from me and I am spiralling. He is a higher earner than me (I earn £26K and he earns around £39K) and could get a new property with a smaller share of the equity from this house than I could with a smaller share. My proposal would be that I keep the deposit and offer him the equity accrued in the marriage and then a larger chunk of my pension. My immediate concern is being able to afford somewhere to live.

The equity in the house is around £130,000 (£111,000 of that is my deposit) so I would like to offer him £29,000 and possibly up to £100,000 of my pension.

I should also say that he doesn't have the means to fight me in court. I don't really have any means to fight him either but I could lay my hands on funds if absolutely necessary.

If I made him this kind of offer and accepted, what is the likelihood that the court would agree it?

I am very battered and anxious so empathy would be hugely appreciated. Thank you.

Did it say on the bank transfer what the money was for? I mean, as you say that was for food so it counts for nothing. He ate the food didn’t he?
Personally, I think it would be worth playing hardball. Send him a really shitty letter basically saying you’re getting nothing. Fuck off sign this.
And if that doesn’t work as the other lady said half of the 7 1/2 grand absolute tops.
But just be careful about getting into anything to deep with solicitors they are not your friend. They are there to make money out of your misery.

I'd need to check but I think it probably said "bills" or similar. Yep, everything he paid for, he used.

He can't prove that he paid towards the mortgage because he didn't.

I am so wary of solicitors now.

You could have got a prenup which in your circumstances would have stood

Pre nup.

Me too, I was pressured into a barrister because the judge will expect it .. was the judge paying?

Solicitor said not so if the needs of both can't be met with what's in the pot once the assets in the pre-nup are excluded. It would most likely have been discounted.

In the case of short marriage with no dependents it would have stood.

those that don’t are where they were signed pre children and no provision was made in relation to them, changing circumstances or long marriage. Eg say a man brings 500k to the marriage and woman 60k. And prenup states in the event if separation those a ringfenced and rest is split 80:20. If short marriage, no children that will stand up. If however, they have a 20 year marriage, woman stops work and raises 3 children then separate, and no revisions to that to provide a fair outcome then prenup will be overturned

it’s a bit by the by now as you don’t have one but for other posters, please seek legal advice before marriage to get one drawn ip. With proper advice and fair provisions they will

I still stand by nothing. Offer nothing.

Just say no / the money you gave when you ‘stayed with me’ didn’t even cover your food. You didn’t pay rent you are joking? The money and house is yours. Let him prove what contributions he made. Meanwhile how much would it cost him to have rented a one bedroom flat for the last 5 years / or whatever as that how much he has SAVED!