Hi everyone.
Full disclosure I am a man but a nice one :)
I would REALLY appreciate some advice as to whether this is a fair outcome and what could/can be done.
My soon to be ex-wife and I are in the process of divorcing after 16 years and 3 fantastic children. We have sorted the finances out (although have not quite completed the Consent Order yet as it is not time).
I have been running through our spread sheets for how our finances will look post divorce and it looks as though my wife will have around £1000 a month disposable income and I will have about £150 at best. My income is solely from my wages so after mortgage, household bills, food bill etc are paid this is what I will be left with......not much at all! My take home is around £2600/ month full time but as I am taking a lot less 'cash/'equity' as it is being offset against my pension (we have decided to do this so the kids keep their house but I would be better off if we split house and my pension - my soon to be ex wife does not have a pension). I will have to have a large mortgage to house myself and my 3 children (when they stay). I will only be able to afford a small 3 bedroom house so two children will have to share....another kick for them potentially not wanting to stay at Dad's :(
My ex-wife will have a large 5 bedroom house with large garden, each child with their own room, play room, games rooms etc etc
My Soon to be ex-wife on the other hand takes home £900/month part time but will be claiming UC or £1250/month, Child benefit or £265/month, Child maintenance from me of £450/month (depending on when the children stay with me but it will be around this figure minimum). Total £2865 but will have no mortgage (as she is keeping the house offset against my pension) so after all her household bill are paid she will have over £1000 disposable income.
We both agree that the children staying in the only home they have known if the only and best outcome we can consider as it is already showing that it is helping them massively at the time so they have the security of knowing that other than me moving out a lot of things will stay the same. I know this contributes to leaving me in this position financially. I DO NOT went to sell the house and split the equity as it will be the kids that lose out. This divorce is not their fault so I do not want to impact them any more than I have to.
Does anyone know if (income/living standard) is taken into account for child maintenance and/or Consent Order? I know future earning are in regards to Spousal Maintenance but this is different. Or is there something I am missing or is it a case of suck it up and suffer?!
With only £150 disposable income for me it will be very hard to have a life with the kids let alone thinking about birthdays/Christmas etc.
I am extremely worried that I will be left in a untenable position and that my relationship with the kids will also suffer.
Any help/advice or personal stories would be great appreciated.
Thank you!