Bills during divorce

[Nootnoot1]

How should bills be split during divorce?

STBXH earns 4 times more than me. Currently when he gets paid he moves money into the joint account which has DDs for the joint mortgage and all the bills. He also pays for the groceries.

My salary is used to pay for childcare and savings for the kids. After child benefits I'm left with around £150 to myself and the kids where he has about £1000 left to himself. It's always been like this pre divorce, except a lot of the £1000 disposable monthly income would go into a savings account and I would dip into it if I needed to pay for things like the car etc. The saving pot is now no longer available as was used to overpay mortgage.

I know this as I used to be the one who managed all of the household finances. I can't apply for universal credit as we don't live as though we are separate. I have very little savings which I will need to pay for the divorce. I can't afford to instruct a solicitor.

Would it be fair to ask him to send me some money a as I'm struggling living off that amount and wouldn't be able to afford emergencies like if something happened to my car. I'm scared to ask him. We have two young children together (2 and 4 years old). Please no judgement.

Where is he living ?

the thing is you’re separated - so while he’s responsible for fmh mortgage share and bills I don’t think you can expect over and above.

you could claim cms but then he may start reducing money on bills etc

how recent is the split and what are the plans re separation and house /money ?

We live together in the same house.

Filed in March. No idea what's going on as he wants everything done via his solicitor. Living in limbo ATM.

I don't think you should ask him to just send you money, no. You are separating. But if you pay all child related costs, ask him to contribute to those eg send you half of the cost of the new clothes they needed etc.

You need to sit down and agree short term finances and who pays what in the interim period and come up with a longer term plan

Agree with @millymollymoomoo

soon enough the divorce will come through and you’ll have to get used to living off just your wage

the childcare costs are a joint cost though but then so is the bills on the house and the groceries.

This,what's the plans post divorce? Splitting of assets and selling house?

Do you have a solicitor yourself Nootnoot1?

Post divorce I will have money, most probably will sell the house and split assets.

No, I can't afford one.

I will be able to live just off my wages post divorce, probably by selling the house.

You should be halving all bills…childcare etc. and you can’t afford to be saving for the dc right now so stop doing that.

There's no way I would have enough to split the bills, childcare and mortgage 50/50, it's more than my wages. I can stop saving for the kids, will provide an extra £50 per month.

If he chooses to move out then he will be responsible for half the mortgage and also child support and that’s it. Seems like you filed for divorce? you haven’t laid out why you are divorcing and it’s no one’s business but your own.

I would not ask for money, you cannot save for the children currently.

Neither of us will move out. Yes filed back in March. Been living off my own savings but that's near enough all gone now. I won't save the children anymore, it will free up £50 for the month.

Be careful about him moving out / he doesn’t have to pay half the morthsge and could stop - although would be advised not to. But if he ends up with rent, cms and op expects half the mortgage or more that simply might not happen

You need to both sit down, list out your outgoings and agree whose going to pay what while you work through the divorce - then put a timeline on it bet it can’t be indefinite.

you also need to think about what assets you have and how these might get split

Have not been through divorce yet, but I've seen similar posts on here where the replies were yes, he should give you access to some of the savings because they are marital assets, part of which you will be entitled you after divorce anyway.

Your bills/finances split has not a fair split, him being paid 4 times as much as you, he should of paid much more of a contribution,

All bills and family expenses totalled up then split as a percentage each, relative to earnings.
He's currently got 6.7 times more disposable income than you! That's not a fair split of finances.

Thank you Drew, I did think this, but as we are now going through a divorce, I wasn't sure if it was fair to ask to split bills like this. It was ok before as I had access to savings which I could dip into.

As the less affluent party your costs for a solicitor would usually end up being repaid by him in effect as you get paid your needs. Without a solicitor you are very likely to do much worse than you should unless you really believe he is a decent man who will treat you fairly (and if so you wouldn't be scared of talking to him about money). You at the least will need someone who can advise if the solution his solicitor comes up with is fair to you legally (you've talked about splitting the house but not about maintenance for you, rather than the kids, for example).

It’s ok to ask
you may not get that split of costs agreed !
it totally depends what he’s like, what your relationship is like, whether you’ll both play fair etc

you can ask him for anything, he doesn’t have to agree

Thanks for this. I've had one hours paid legal advice so I'm know roughly what I'm entitled to. He was a decent man, but I'm not so sure so much now.

I'm going to have a chat with him tonight.

Thanks for everyone's responses.

You definitely need your own solicitor - and H will have to pay for it - or, rather, it’ll be deducted from the total marital assets.
Without your own representation - you can’t be sure you will get a fair deal.
Please - don't agree or sign anything.

He wants to divorce - well, then he needs to play fair. And only him having a solicitor is NOT fair.

Borrow money, if you have to. Or - find a good solicitor who’ll enforce him paying for the legal fees, as well as making sure he covers yours and children’s needs in the interim.

I know it’s possible as a friend went though tough divorce where H was difficult and barely gave my friwnd+child any money to live on. Her solicitor handled it swiftly - and H had to pay fees too.

good luck!!!