Living separately in expensive area

[lolsoexpensive]

Hello 👋

I was wondering if anyone has any experience or knowledge that might help.

I am separating from my partner pretty amicably, all things considered.

We have a 6 year old who we will look after 50/50. We rent in an expensive city. Our tiny 3 bed house is £2k pcm, a 2 bed flat or house is on average around £1.7k. A 1 bed isn't much cheaper tbh.. £1.4k.

Unfortunately, both of us have very minimal savings (hundreds rather than thousands). I have recently become a good earner (£85k) and am focussing on paying off ~£25k of debt. My ex earns around £30k.

We can't realistically afford to rent two separate flats but also both want to move on with our lives. I grew up in this city, and with family, jobs and school here we don't want to move.

I am encouraging my ex to look into council housing or affordable housing schemes. I think he is likely to be eligible for something, but how do we get him "up the list" as it were whilst he is still able to sleep here (in box room) and on friends/family's sofas? What is the right tact to take with the housing officers etc?

I will also downsize to a private rent 2 bed flat, but we have a few months left on the lease here.

Neither of us have any experience of this so would appreciate any help!

Thanks

If op earned 30k no one would be suggesting a house share and no overnights would be suitable! Everyone would be saying her high earning ex is due to pay cms even if it’s 50:50 shared care ……

A house share and no overnights is really not ideal! My job comes with travel and sometimes long hours so honestly he has and will continue to do his fair share of childcare.

I will definitely contribute as necessary (especially when my debt is gone!)

Bit of a reversal of normal/stereotypical situation!

Definitely a good idea to transfer the CB to his name so he’s eligible for benefits. Go on ‘entitled to’ website and put some figures in for a 2 bed flat cost and see what benefits he would be entitled to. On 30k and expensive rents like that, he should get enough to rent a 2 bed place. I’d say he won’t have much luck with the council.

No op, it’s not ideal.
but the council isn’t going to step in and provide a healthy, employed and safe young man with a property any time in this lifetime.

what industry is he in?

It’s not really about being male. He’s a single parent and if he ends up being the main carer due to 50/50 custody and potentially a little more due to OP traveling with work then he’s just as eligible as a young safe employed female single parent would be. Chances are slim but not impossible.

A house share and no overnights is really not ideal! My job comes with travel and sometimes long hours so honestly he has and will continue to do his fair share of childcare.

He'd have to do overnight childcare in your house then. Where did he live on his £30k before he met you?

This highlights the hypocrisy of mn. Noone would be berating a woman for earning 30k or not being able to afford rent or living with a high earner being the reason she can afford a house etc. terrible.

I’d say far closer to “impossible” than “slim”

and thankfully as otherwise this would indicate the the priority list is seriously mismanaged

If it’s close to impossible then it’s slim, not impossible. You disliking the idea of a man getting a council house doesn’t have any bearing on the facts

it will almost certainly be impossible in some boroughs!

A man?

more like someone in good health, in full time employment and not in any shape or form in fear about his safety