Wedding photos- divorce

blobby10 · 17/05/2025 14:32

My brother burned his wedding photos after his wife had an affair with one of his closest friends. I've kept mine (exH didn't want anything to remind him of our marriage) as, like you we drifted apart and there wasn't any animosity. Except when he said he didn't want any reminders - that stung a bit. Mine are stashed away in the loft somewhere - thought the children might like them for historical interest when I die. They are lovely photos

BangersAndGnash · 17/05/2025 14:34

Keep some for the kids
Keep ones with pics of friends,
Keep a couple: it’s part of your history.

Original poster

Runningmom1512 · 17/05/2025 15:37

@blobby10 thank you. That makes sense about keeping it for kids for later on. Maybe I'll just put them in a box and in the loft or somewhere. My ex will be the same and say he doesn't want anything with us in/on it.

OP posts:

Theunamedcat · 17/05/2025 16:31

I threw the album away I shitt have the small copies I think and I've got the digital copies in case the kids want them later

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 17/05/2025 16:43

I left ours on the top of the bin when I moved out...

BookArt55 · 17/05/2025 18:56

Keep them for the kids, they will enjoy seeing who was there, what you wore, and also that they were a product of love (that is what my oldest friend told me who had divorced parents).

Reprographical · 17/05/2025 18:58

I'm not divorced, but I looked great in my wedding photos! I'd want to keep them I think, even if I hated dh

Realise I might actually be horribly vain 😬

CowTown · 17/05/2025 18:59

My dad kept theirs in the loft—I have them now as adult.

whycantibeselfishforonce · 17/05/2025 18:59

Yep in box in loft for DC to look at in later years if they want to.

Owlteapot · 17/05/2025 19:05

I'm planning to throw the actual album and just keep a couple photos incase dc want them. They were at wedding but too young to remember

MarxistMags · 17/05/2025 19:07

I've got my adult childrens photo albums too.
I don't know what to do with them at all. No children from these marriages, so I think I'll shove them up the attic. Hidden in the corner as a surprise for the next owners !

Didntask · 17/05/2025 19:09

Runningmom1512 · 17/05/2025 14:10

Just wanting to know really what others did with things like wedding photo's/family photos after a divorce/separation. For me we just drifted apart so there isn't any hate really to my ex. I know there's no right or wrong way of doing this, but just wondered what others did with wedding photos/family photos after divorce/separation

I chucked mine in the skip when I moved house.

BeerAndMusic · 17/05/2025 23:15

I have mine backed up in case kids want them but deleted the rest, waste of space!!

OnceUponAThread · 18/05/2025 01:07

Runningmom1512 · 17/05/2025 15:37

@blobby10 thank you. That makes sense about keeping it for kids for later on. Maybe I'll just put them in a box and in the loft or somewhere. My ex will be the same and say he doesn't want anything with us in/on it.

@Runningmom1512just a counterpoint: as “the kid” in this scenario (I was actually 19ish by the time of the divorce and definitely an adult in 20s by the time I got the photos) I was both baffled and slightly uncomfortable when I was given the wedding album by my dad.

i was worried it might make my mum uncomfortable (cheated on) I have plenty of old snaps of them individually, it felt a bit like photos of a lie, and I really wasn’t sure what to do with them. It’s not like they reference happy memories. They’re now just taking space in my attic because I feel guilty throwing them away, and I feel like the awkwardness has been passed onto me. I’m hardly going to frame them and put them up.

I’d say if you don’t want them, bin them. Don’t make it your children’s problem

CowTown · 18/05/2025 07:41

I’m glad I have my parents’ wedding photos. No, I’ll never frame them. Yes, there was infidelity in the marriage. I would be cross if my parents had thrown them out.

HotDogKetchup · 18/05/2025 07:44

Im not sure - but I'm convinced my DH’s ex of 13 years (we’ve been together 10) has some sort of shrine as when we’re having a life event, like a baby or our own wedding, she’ll send some back with their shared DC. Together with some of DH’s personal belongings 🤣🫢

Do you have shared children together? As I’d be tempted to hang onto them for them when they’re a bit older - maybe not all of them but one or two for a family tree/for reference.

breadpie · 18/05/2025 08:21

The children are unlikely want them... Why would they? I kept my engagement ring for my daughter and she doesn't want that either. I keep meaning to flog it but know I won't get the full value so over two decades later, it's still up the corner of a drawer

Doggymummar · 18/05/2025 08:24

Divorced three times and I haven't kept any. I expect my mum might have one of each though. I think the last one is an album on FB but I'm lost the account years ago.

GoingNow · 18/05/2025 08:29

Still have mine, informal photos and a large formal album, despite him being an adulterer! ( and awful to me during the separation, subsequent divorce and trying to parent together for the DC’s).

I want our children to realise that we were once happy together. They also contain photos of family members who have since died.

Thirty years on he and I have mellowed significantly. The photos are just of their time.

Kathbrownlow · 18/05/2025 08:34

I think I maybe have one photo somewhere of my first marriage. The second marriage, I quite recently deleted all the digital ones - I didn't look very nice in the pictures anyway. I had already thrown out the physical pictures. I didn't really delete in anger, they just felt no longer relevant.

ARainyNightInSoho · 18/05/2025 08:34

breadpie · 18/05/2025 08:21

The children are unlikely want them... Why would they? I kept my engagement ring for my daughter and she doesn't want that either. I keep meaning to flog it but know I won't get the full value so over two decades later, it's still up the corner of a drawer

I am really happy I have the pictures of my (divorced) parent’s wedding. It was an awful marriage and I remember being relieved when they got around to separating when I was in my teens. My dad was a weirdo, alcoholic areshole. My mum went on to have a freer and much happier life afterwards.
I understand the need to put bad memories behind us. But, all of our lives are a mixture of good and bad and I would rather make sense of it as a whole rather than pretending it was all good. There’s love in the wedding photos, and I was a product of that love even though it went wrong very quickly. And it’s real family history. Not manipulated by a keeping up appearances optimism.

Put the photos somewhere you can only see them if you really want to. But don’t throw them away.

whynotmereally · 18/05/2025 08:38

i put mine in the loft where my wedding dress was 5 years later my new dp and I were buying a new house so I donated my dress to charity and disposed of album/memorabilia

whynotmereally · 18/05/2025 08:43

Also to say there is a couple of pictures in my regular photo albums. I kept them and just got rid of the rofessional ones

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 18/05/2025 08:44

I got divorced years ago, remarried this year and only just got round to throwing out my old wedding photos. Felt weird keeping them but yet also weird to throw them out.

If I’d had kids from my first marriage I’d have kept them or at least a good selection of them. But as I don’t, there wasn’t really much point in keeping them. I kept a few of me on my own and some of the holiday photos (I married abroad) but sent the rest to the tip.

My 5yr old daughter was obsessed by them though and I had to expedite getting rid as she was constantly getting them out and leaving them around the house 😄

Tbrh · 18/05/2025 08:45

If you have kids then you should keep them. I wouldn't throw them, or maybe keep a few as a reminder of good memories. Remember once you were both happy and in love!