Married nearly 27 years but unhappy for at least the last 12 of them. I nearly left 10 years ago but the children were young and I just felt I had to keep going.
Last year I started working on myself and realised I needed to act.
We'd been living like housemates for years, no intimacy or physically contact (not even a hug) - his decision, never asked me whether I was happy with that - and I felt lonely and undesired. I was the main earner, despite having asked him to step up to the plate more on that to take some of the pressure off me. I also managed pretty much everything re the children, including a son with ASC who was out of school for 18 months and had an eating disorder - I did all the legwork on this to fight for a school place and get him help for the eating disorder - and a daughter who had cancer treatment last year. I felt unsupported and exhausted.
Just after Christmas I told him I was very unhappy and did not want to be in the marriage anymore. Cited all of the above. Said I was done. He said he wasn't happy either and agreed to separate.
But now I've started divorce proceedings, he's told our daughter (23) that he doesn't understand why we're getting a divorce. He would I think quite happily bumble along in a loveless empty marriage for the rest of his life! I do think there's an element of fear on his part that he will actually have to earn a living and take some responsibility, but that's his responsibility not mine.
How do I handle this?!