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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Telling teens / waiting

26 replies

Wolbutter · 01/04/2025 08:11

Just looking for opinions.. it's been 2 weeks since DH said he wants to separate because he doesn't feel in love with me and we've become just partners.

DD has her yr 12 exams just after the holidays, she's really hard working and takes school very seriously - the exams are a big deal to her because she needs good predicted grades for uni application in the autumn .

We have talked about waiting til after her exams to tell them (DD 17 and DS about to be 15) - it was my idea.

I'm really struggling now though, living in the house with him and acting as normal in front of the kids.

I'm wondering if it would be better to tell them now with the holiday coming up.

I'm also really struggling with putting off family who want to visit over Easter, joint friends trying to organise things. I feel like I'm just lying to everyone

OP posts:

Inthedeep · 11/04/2025 08:58

Wolbutter · 11/04/2025 07:24

Thanks @Inthedeep .. yes he told them and as any of us could have told him they are both really upset. DD is more angry - she is a quiet person but is just avoiding him. DS is very sad when he talks about I. However and thankfully they are still happy most of the time and with their friends. It also means I've been able to tell my family and closest friends which has been awful but a real relief.

Now it's just grindingly miserable. He's still here, we're not arguing but tiptoeing around. He's got no plan apparently and I don't know whether to force it and make him leave asap or if it's better for the kids if he goes in a few weeks

I’m so sorry the children were so upset, he can’t have been surprised at that. Has he been supporting them through this or is it all left to you?

I can’t believe he still hasn’t made a plan, even a short term one. Does he plan on just continuing to live at home indefinitely?

If it was just you and him, I’d suggest chucking him out straight away, as there are children involved its more complicated. It depends I suppose what they’d prefer. On the one hand I assume they still get to see him more because he’s home, but equally if things at home are awkward, tense and miserable that’s not a nice environment for them to be around and maybe they’d prefer the opportunity to start rebuilding their happiness and their new normal now.

I’m so sorry you are having to navigate this and go through it.

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