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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

I walked out and he’s moved on already

27 replies

Dontbenasty · 26/03/2025 22:54

I’ve been in a long relationship and the last 6 years was lack lustre. I’ve eventually moved out and my best friend couldn’t wait to tell me he’s already moved on and been having sex. He wanted me to stay. I was pleased to leave but I’m amazed that he’s moved on so soon. Why do I feel angry.
he gave me the ick. He’s 60 and I’m 55.

OP posts:
Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 26/03/2025 22:58

Well done for moving out.

He’s having sex. Not the same as ‘moving on’ it’s most likely a self-esteem boost. Remember how good you felt moving out.

Your best friend sounds like she needs to be dumped too.

CaptainFuture · 26/03/2025 23:00

How does your 'bf' know and why is she so invested?!

Original poster
Dontbenasty · 26/03/2025 23:23

She’s a neighbor…couldn’t wait to tell me that he’s dating. Why am I fuming ?? He gave me the ick. He went on a dating site before I’d left the house! I think he met her then so there’s been an overlap and lying

OP posts:
unsync · 26/03/2025 23:29

It's very common for men to do this and says more about him than you. I know it's hard not to, but don't take it personally. He probably wanted you to find out and provoke a reaction.

Your bf doesn't sound very nice. I wouldn't be confiding in her or leaning on her.

BeerAndMusic · 27/03/2025 01:31

You moved out - why shouldnt he move on? If the last 6 years were poor for you, they may have been for him. Emotionally checked out for ages?

Even more so at 60, time is not on us older folks side!!

BlondiePortz · 27/03/2025 01:39

Maybe you gave him the ick?

MarkingBad · 27/03/2025 01:44

Not sure I'd be anything more than polite to anyone keen to tell me what an ex has been up to. Certainly not much of a friend.

You've got your own life to be getting on with, he's the past and not worth thinking about, you have a great future ahead bugger the ex and the neighbour.

Lurkingandlearning · 27/03/2025 02:09

It sounds like you remained at the house after you told him it was over. If so, there wasn’t really an overlap. Once it was over he was free to do as he pleased.

These quickly arranged dates aren’t really replacing you, although I understand that it will feel like that. You had a relationship, these are shallow hook ups, nothing like what he has lost. Just try to accept that is how he is dealing with the loss of your relationship. It’s a bit pitiful really.

If your friend genuinely thought you should know, maybe if you were thinking of changing your mind, fair enough. But if there was even a hint that she was enjoying telling you, drop her. As she’s his neighbour it’s going to be a bit uncomfortable visiting her anyway

CheekyHobson · 27/03/2025 02:35

Look, I’m sure that if you had wanted to organise a sexual hookup immediately upon leaving the relationship, you could have had one sorted within an hour.

Getting laid by someone, anyone, is hardly a marker of attractiveness or value as a person.

He most likely did it for a low-quality ego boost after you dumped him. You didn’t get dumped, ergo you didn’t need an immediate low-quality ego boost, ergo you didn’t get straight on the apps.

andfinallyhereweare · 27/03/2025 02:42

Sounds like that Marty Webb song.. take that look of your face…

sorry this has happened, look up the song and blare it and find your anger.

BlondiePortz · 27/03/2025 02:49

CheekyHobson · 27/03/2025 02:35

Look, I’m sure that if you had wanted to organise a sexual hookup immediately upon leaving the relationship, you could have had one sorted within an hour.

Getting laid by someone, anyone, is hardly a marker of attractiveness or value as a person.

He most likely did it for a low-quality ego boost after you dumped him. You didn’t get dumped, ergo you didn’t need an immediate low-quality ego boost, ergo you didn’t get straight on the apps.

Does that work for women as well as men?

CheekyHobson · 27/03/2025 03:05

BlondiePortz · 27/03/2025 02:49

Does that work for women as well as men?

Show quote history

Do you mean can women get laid via an app as easily as a man can? Yes, far more easily in general.

BlondiePortz · 27/03/2025 03:30

CheekyHobson · 27/03/2025 03:05

Do you mean can women get laid via an app as easily as a man can? Yes, far more easily in general.

Show quote history

I was meaning more your last 2 paragraph's

Tbrh · 27/03/2025 03:35

Why do you care. Be lucky to be free, doesn't even sound like you liked him much!

CheekyHobson · 27/03/2025 03:36

BlondiePortz · 27/03/2025 03:30

I was meaning more your last 2 paragraph's

Show quote history

Sorry, I’m not really sure what you’re getting at. Could you ask your question more directly?

BlondiePortz · 27/03/2025 03:51

CheekyHobson · 27/03/2025 03:36

Sorry, I’m not really sure what you’re getting at. Could you ask your question more directly?

Show quote history

When a man sleeps with a women he has met on an app when she has been dumped it is not because she is attractive, she sleeps with him for a low quality ego boost and does not value herself?

CheekyHobson · 27/03/2025 03:58

BlondiePortz · 27/03/2025 03:51

When a man sleeps with a women he has met on an app when she has been dumped it is not because she is attractive, she sleeps with him for a low quality ego boost and does not value herself?

Show quote history

I still can’t make head nor tail of that sentence structure, but if you are trying to manufacture misandry where none exists, please be on your way.

EdithBond · 27/03/2025 04:18

If you decided he wasn’t for you, why let it bother you?

He’s probably doing it to massage his bruised ego after you left him.

Dervel · 27/03/2025 04:22

What would you have preferred him to have done? Sit there with the lights off in darkness crying in your absence for days months or years? I don’t understand why you would want to leave someone and then be so invested in his suffering. Okay maybe if he was abusive to you in someway, that’s fair enough But I think just being given the ick isn’t really good grounds to want someone to suffer.

MaySea · 27/03/2025 04:34

Some people are terrified of being alone.

Guavafish1 · 27/03/2025 04:36

Me move on quicker than womens

SerfwithaT · 27/03/2025 04:49

BlondiePortz · 27/03/2025 02:49

Does that work for women as well as men?

Show quote history

Yep. Men will happily come to your house at silly o clock if you fancy a fuck. The apps are a man delivery service if you're brave/reckless enough.

You will have to engage with the sort of man who fucks random strangers but they're there if you want them.

Source-bad breakup a few years back,

SerfwithaT · 27/03/2025 04:54

BlondiePortz · 27/03/2025 03:51

When a man sleeps with a women he has met on an app when she has been dumped it is not because she is attractive, she sleeps with him for a low quality ego boost and does not value herself?

Show quote history

AKA she's lonely, self esteem low, wants someone to make her feel better that will leave immediately after and she will then regret for maybe a few days before wiping it completely from her memory?
Yeah

Congrats you worked out break ups in the modern world with dating apps

pantsalot · 27/03/2025 04:56

MaySea · 27/03/2025 04:34

Some people are terrified of being alone.

This ^

SerfwithaT · 27/03/2025 04:57

Being alone and lonely doesn't make you more valuable. What the fuck does value yourself mean in that context?

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