Consent order- reasonable split? Please read

[Jobanana21]

Hi everyone,
very amicable divorce. One 12 year old daughter. And I just want some views on whether this looks as though it will be passed by a judge when it comes to the consent order!!
in a very small nutshell…hubby earns approx £190k. I have always worked part time to look after daughter but she is older now so I am starting new job this week and will be on £28k.
we both have approx £15k in savings each. He has agreed to remortgage the marital home which is in his name only (we have been together for 17 years and married 12) and give me £270k from the house which is worth approx £360k. This will allow me to buy a house outright and then have £100k in savings to allow to pay into a pension (I don’t really have any just lots of tiny ones dotted about) but his pension pot is worth approx 1 million. I will not touch his pension. He will then be paying me £400 maintenance and we will share our daughter equally. He is 10 years older than me at 52 which is why I don’t want to be going for the pension as I have a lot more time to buildup (42). We both can’t have any more children so this is another reason why we want to just move forwards.
We are both more than happy with this and want to be able to move on a rebuild our lives and do the best job we can for our daughter who is just amazing.
does anyone have any advice at all on whether they think this will get passed by the courts when it comes to the consent order? We really just want it done and dusted asap when we can. Im worried that I’m asking for too much however, but he is more than capable of taking on the mortgage because of his wage and is happy with the split! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

have you taken legal advice? Why are you not touching his pension?

I am seeing a solicitor on Tuesday. The reason is because of his age and the liquid assets that have been agreed instead?

So marital assets of £1.4m and you are getting about £300k whilst he (the higher earner) gets £1.1m?

Yes - the judge might indeed baulk but not because you are asking too much.

I do understand what you are saying..it’s just really hard when we have agreed something. Surely they have to take some of our wishes into account?

No it's not a reasonable split. You're not getting 50%, hell not even 25%.

He is earning 7x more than you. So he's going to be putting 7x more at least into his pension until retirement. You won't have a £1 million pension pot in 10 years with your salary.

He would need to give you EVERYTHING except the pension to even make it look reasonable and let's face it it isn't because he needs some liquid assets to buy himself somewhere. So he's going to need to part with some pension.

I hate all of this. I wish I could just go and start over . It’s just all so stressful 😥

Utterly ridiculous you should be getting a share of the pension as well.

@Jobanana21 you are off your head accepting that!! you need to go for half of everything at the very least! he should need to be remortgaging if he earns nearly 200k per year! he has savings somewhere.

Of course it's stressful. I presume he's pushing you to avoid lawyers to be 'amicable' while he completely shafts you out of what's rightfully yours and your daughters. It's only amicable when you're doing as you're told.

Spell it the fuck out for him. Marriage is 50/50 he's only offering you less than 25%. £1.4m assets - you stand to get £700K. He's offering circa £300K. He needs to make you a much better offer or you'll get lawyers involved to go after the £700K. Lawyers may be expensive, but won't be £400K expensive. You'll come out better either way, he will lose that £400K plus legal fees.

This is insane!
He should give you the house plus 25% pension to make it equal.
Also are you sure he only has 15K savings
Your house is only worth 360K so what happen to his nearly 200K per year?

£400 maintenance on his earnings of £190k seems low, unless you're doing 50:50 and the money is just an extra?

Given the significant difference in earning power, this would not be regarded as a ‘needs’ based but more about providing a similar standard of living for yourself/daughter.

£400 sounds very low as spousal maintenance given his earning power (I would presume he may be on £8-10K net per month (which even with the mortgage will be £6-8k), whereas your take home pay will be around £2k).

Also it would be very normal to split his pension 50/50 at least. At 42 earning £28k you will not be able to build up much in those extra ten years. If not then pension then why can’t you have the full equity in the house at the very least and higher spousal? He could afford to put down a deposit and full mortgage on a similar property without any problem.

This is a high net worth case so you really need legal advice. It does not surprise me that your ex is being amicable - this is very much in his favour.

Higher earning men also sometimes have a motive to push for 50/50 child arrangements as well since on his earnings he would need to pay approx £800 per month in CMS alone if there was about a 60/40 split, so I presume this is your daughter’s wishes (at 12 she would have a say…) to split her time equally and you haven’t had it suggested to you by husband.

It doesn’t matter if you have agreed something now with him before you have seen a solicitor since it can be changed to what is fair . A court would expect you to have sought legal advice (it certainly appears that he has!…) and it is certainly unfair by your husband to have suggested this to you before you have lawyers involved on both sides.

This is a very unfair split OP. It's no wonder he's happy with it. All those years you were looking after your daughter why wasn't he paying in to a pension for you? You've got no pension to speak of and on a low wage it will be hard to build one up from your age. Your husband has 15 years left before retirement age and even if he stopped contributing to his pension now it would keep growing and generating returns. Don't think of it like he's got less time to build a pension it's you who needs this not him.

I don't know anything about you but I suspect that you're a nice person, he's a bit overbearing and is making you feel like you would be a bad grabby person if you "go after his pension". You have made financial sacrifices to have your joint child which he has not. The reason a judge would consider this to be unfair is that your work, unpaid, is considered within the marriage to be of equal value as his paid work.

Please listen to the solicitor. If you won't do it for yourself do it for your daughter.

Ultimately you can agree to getting less, that is your prerogative and you can sign a document agreeing this however I would question why you don't request additional maintenance so you can put that into a pension in lieu of his pension now, he's a very high earner at £192k so I think £800 in spousal until your child leaves school at 18, then he pays all university costs would be fairer

Echoing others' comments, OP. This is a grossly unfair split and unlikely to be signed off in court. You haven't agreed anything. You've had a conversation, without taking the necessary legal advice, in which your H has attempted to completely shaft you. I expected was a bully before the split too. The fact that you're finding this so stressful and just want to slope off with a pitiful settlement is very telling. If you're doing 50/50 then the £400 maintenance (which is a pitiful amount given your income disparity) wouldn't be enforceable and he could get a variation after 1 year.

You can't rely on the spousal or CM above CMS being paid though. Far better to get a clean break.

I don't need the legalities of a pension sharing order but even if it means you have to wait until he retires to get a lump sum from that if it's guaranteed that is better than a few years of spousal.

Sorry but how can he only have £15k in savings?, what on earth is he , or both of you , spending his salary on!.
And no, I don't think that split is fair.

It does seem rather surprising. But maybe he has been carefully salting it all away in his pension - you know “his” asset that he has convinced her that having a fair share would be her “going after it”.

This is an appalling split…

no decent judge SHOULD approve this… he is pissing in your pocket and telling you it’s raining.

You might have 15k in savings but His 15k in savings sounds like total bullshit. I guarantee he has secret savings.

And leaving his £1m pension untouched is a joke.

this is a diabolically unfair split and you are sleep walking into a very financially uncomfortable future.

You don't have to stand up to the bully yourself, OP. That's what your solicitor is for.

Incidentally I am an actuary and one of the very first pieces of work I got involved in when I was a brand new baby trainee was about the theory of splitting pensions on divorce. I didn’t understand at the time what a powerful piece of legislation it was against men who financially abuse their wives. (I was a perky 21 year old Oxbridge graduate - I knew nothing of the real world!) But looking back I am rather proud.

It does infuriate me slightly though that nearly 25 years later, sharing assets fairly on divorce is still seen as slightly shameful and grabby.

😥 goodness me. This has opened my eyes quite hugely. Makes me sound very weak doesn’t it. Maybe I’m just a bit worn down with everything 😔

He does mentally save into his pension I know that for sure..

Kindly, I expect the reason it's an amicable split is because he's absolutely shafting you - and your daughter - and youre walking away thinking you got a good deal.

You enabled him to earn 7 x what you earn, by reducing your earning power and staying home with his child. You are not being grabby by asking for AT LEAST 50% of everything. That's the minimum you're entitled to!

You need a proper pension valuation to determine its value relative to cash assets - it’s not £1 fir £1

he also need cash for housing - at least a decent deposit . He’ll have less years to pay a mortgage and it’s not fair to assume he can always earn at this level till he’s mid 60s, but that will be weighed with your lower earnings and younger age

you will need higher cash or pension to get this through