Consent order- reasonable split? Please read

[Jobanana21]

Hi everyone,
very amicable divorce. One 12 year old daughter. And I just want some views on whether this looks as though it will be passed by a judge when it comes to the consent order!!
in a very small nutshell…hubby earns approx £190k. I have always worked part time to look after daughter but she is older now so I am starting new job this week and will be on £28k.
we both have approx £15k in savings each. He has agreed to remortgage the marital home which is in his name only (we have been together for 17 years and married 12) and give me £270k from the house which is worth approx £360k. This will allow me to buy a house outright and then have £100k in savings to allow to pay into a pension (I don’t really have any just lots of tiny ones dotted about) but his pension pot is worth approx 1 million. I will not touch his pension. He will then be paying me £400 maintenance and we will share our daughter equally. He is 10 years older than me at 52 which is why I don’t want to be going for the pension as I have a lot more time to buildup (42). We both can’t have any more children so this is another reason why we want to just move forwards.
We are both more than happy with this and want to be able to move on a rebuild our lives and do the best job we can for our daughter who is just amazing.
does anyone have any advice at all on whether they think this will get passed by the courts when it comes to the consent order? We really just want it done and dusted asap when we can. Im worried that I’m asking for too much however, but he is more than capable of taking on the mortgage because of his wage and is happy with the split! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

OP, I don't think you can do this without a solicitor - there is a massive disparity in earnings and pension, a 12 year old child and a relatively long marriage. And your husband is trying to force you to agree to much less than you are entitled to.

Thankyou for your responses everyone. I need to put my big girl pants on I think. I’m seeing the sol on Tuesday so will take it from there xx

I bet he’s bloody happy! He’s looking at a very comfortable early retirement in the marital home while you work until you drop and get to look at his Caribbean cruise with younger wife #2 on her Facebook page.

I can quite believe he is very amicable if you’ve agreed to an 80:20 split in his favour. I understand you may be happy with less than half, but you are seriously disadvantaging yourself and your daughter by agreeing to such an unfair split.

It’s not “his” pension and it’s not “his” house - those are both shared marital assets. They are yours too (and your pensions are his).

he has 15 years ahead at 7x your salary to rebuild his pension pot once you are divorced. You have more years but a tiny salary and by all accounts very little pension in your own name. You are facing a very poor retirement while he has a very rich one.

also, you will be moving from your £360k house to a £170k house - not much of a backstop for downsizing from in old age.

Stand firm.

Just look out for your future self.
My worry is by the time you realise what a bad deal you’re taking today, it’ll be too late and you’ve signed all your rights away, he’ll be long gone and off the hook. Raise it down the road and he’ll just shrug and say sorry you agreed a deal in 2025, you haven’t got a leg to stand on.

His pension pot is his savings it would seem.

I'm so glad this has opened your eyes. There are a lot of wise women on Mumsnet who will help you to see clearly and will offer you support.

I’m amazed you only have 30k in savings and a house only worth 360k with his huge salary!
what has he been doing with the rest of if? My Dd and her Dh earn that much combined and have a 1.2 million house plus pensions approx 500k each. They’re both under 30
Hes hiding something,

£360 isn't much for a house these days and if you have been there a while, you probably bought for less. He is on £190 a year and hasn't very low savings for that high a salary. Have you been living like kings? If not then where is the money going? I bet he knows!

I really hope the judge doesn't agree this. It's a terrible offer.

Agree with others. This is a rotten deal for you after a long marriage. I'm also surprised that anyone on £190k only has £15k in savings. Your house is (comparatively) inexpensive compared to London so it's not gone there. Are there savings he isn't telling you about or is he/you very extravagant indeed?

Also, it's not for him to decide what you get. It's joint assets.

You are getting well and truly fucked. Of course he's all smiles and being amicable. Not only is he getting a very unfair amount of assets but he's fucking you over on maintenance as well. You'd get more the £400pcm in child maintenance if you want through CM. My H earns 40k and I'd get about that if I left him. Stop trying to be nice and fair. He isn't playing by the same rules. He's not being fair. He would see you disadvantage which will impact his kid and he feels no way about that. Honestly he's a shit dad and a shit person.

Good luck with your solicitor visit tomorrow OP. Have you made a list of questions to ask?

Kindly you are being foolish especially about the pension! Pls reconsider

First of all stop with the "his house/his pension" shit.

You had a long relationship and marriage together, you stood back in your career to raise your joint child so he could pursue his career.

You and your STBXH have JOINT assets of a house worth X and a pension worth Y.

You add X to Y and then half the total. THAT is where you should be starting from.

You should then adjust for your lower earning potential, and assume a split which evens that up, say 60/40 in your favour.

So go into negotiations expecting around 60% of total assets, be prepared to settle for 50% and then CMS will be on top of that.

What’s your update op? @Jobanana21