Divorce. Is he being fair? Financial agreement.

[Live247]

I'm currently going through a mostly amicable divorce. It wasn't my decision, but no one else is involved, and things hadn't been good for a while. We've been married for 10 years and have two children, ages 4 and 6.

We own a house with £350K in equity. My grandparents contributed £150K to help us buy it, which my STBXH has always acknowledged as my money. He also has a great relationship with my family.

My ex has a significant pension pot of around £300K, whereas I have nothing close to that. He earns approximately £60K, while I earn £80K. We also have £20K in savings.

He's proposed taking £70K (so he can buy a flat locally) and keeping his entire pension. Otherwise, he says he'll seek £175K, plus half of our savings and joint assets. He believes this is fair, citing my potential future inheritance and his lack of one as reasons why his pension should remain untouched.

We're trying to keep things amicable and avoid solicitors, but from what I've read, it seems he may have a case. However, I feel that the £150K was an early inheritance meant for me, and he shouldn't be entitled to it.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice?

What is your pension pot? Have you consulted a solicitor?

Add everything up divide in half and work out which is the better deal. He is proposing keeping 370 which might be fine depending on the value of the house and your pension

In a court of law the £150k given to you is marital money and so he can make a claim to it.

It sounds like he's stated what he needs to leave and go and start again leaving you with more equity. It depends really if you wish to stay in the marital home or you also wish to move.

How close to retirement are you both?

So the law on this differs depending on where you are in the U.K.,

Are you in England or Scotland (or wales or Northern Ireland?)

Either way potential future inheritances are not taken into account so that can be ignored.

It's not much around 30k/40k or so. We are both late thirties if that makes a difference.

I have consulted a solicitor. Ultimately you can contest most things. I just don't want some long drawn out battle...but also want what is fair.

Both late thirties.

It sounds like he’s been more than fair. The 150k isn’t your money and I doubt if it came from your husbands family you would be hook he should walk off with it and afford a much better property than you for the kids.

Why is your pension so low if you are the higher earner? 2 maternity leave shouldn’t have made such a vast difference.

The house is worth around 600k. He also would like me to keep house. Im unsure.

He knows a small inheritance is coming soon of roughly 60k, so I could buy him out and keep same mortgage, which I can afford.

Might be worth going to mediation to hammer out the financial order. I'm not sure the prospect of a future inheritance can be considered.

You have a higher earning potential, and with that the opportunity to boost your pension. Plus the marital home and the savings, is that right?

On paper it might not seem equal, but it may flatten out over time. What is the proposal for the children? Maintenance and where they will spend their time?

My situation was very different (SAHM, him the high earner). 10 years post divorce and I'm currently taking him to court. It's important to get it right now, but to take a longer term view in my opinion. (Hindsight is a wonderful thing).

What pension amount did he accrue during the 10 year marriage? The £300k may well include funds accrued prior to marriage.

He's been in his job 20 years. I assumed the whole pot is a marital asset.

Personally, I'd keep the house (in part it will be your pension) and give him £70k.

Is he older than you then? In which case you have more years than him to add to your pension and from a higher salary.
It’s not always 50/50 split that is the fair and equal settlement.

So he gets 370K (70 equity + 300 pension) you keep 280K of equity and your own pension plus savings?

Yeah basically. It's just ever since the start of our separation he said he didn't want the 150k and that should be taken off table completely. I think he's had some legal advice and changed his mind.

Well by that logic the 10 years of pension he accrued before your marriage should also be taken off the table then?

Sounds a very fair split to me and allows you both to be properly housed.

£380k for the 60k earned vs £330/340k for the 80k earner sounds like a reasonable split.
You will be staying in the home but surely you want him to be able to house the children adequately on his time?
Most of his share is tied up in his pension which isn’t the same or as beneficial in the short term as yours being equally in the house.

That's a hell of a fair deal for you and I think you'll regret trying for more because in reality you'll end up with much less.

Op

you should have snatched his hand off!!

he is absolutely entitled to 150k and you need to stop being greedy by eyeing up his pension pot when you earn 80k a year

giving him 70k? No he’s entitled to that and more

20K savings, 30-40K pension so £340-350.
You can't directly compare £1 of equity/cash to £1 of pension which makes it a bit tricky to see what % you both get this way. Though pension values can be more than shown on balance for certain types of pension. How much will you each have the kids? Morally you might be right about the 150K, but legally it's family money now. The smaller inheritance you might get soon or any other possible inheritances on either side have no baring on anything.

Is he being fair? 😂😂😂

tell me are you slightly spoilt by your wealthy family?

He’s being more than fair!

So get your own legal advice.

I've looked at it several times and the only conclusion I can see is that he is being fair, as long as he will be paying CM (unless 50:50 care) and you will be able to retain your job.

You have a solicitor. Why haven't they told you what is fair or not?

You conveniently have left out your pension amount from the original post and your savings amount too. All these could be added to the marital pot like his pension and ALL the equity in your home.

On the basis you can buy him out soon with a future inheritance keeping the house you can afford on your own salary and not disrupting the kids has (for me) a value too. You won't be paying estate agents, yiu won't be paying moving expenses and you won't be paying stamp duty for another property. By all means if you want to screw him over go ahead and try to claim against his pension but I think you may find you are the one that will end up down financially overall.