Divorce. Is he being fair? Financial agreement.

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I'm currently going through a mostly amicable divorce. It wasn't my decision, but no one else is involved, and things hadn't been good for a while. We've been married for 10 years and have two children, ages 4 and 6.

We own a house with £350K in equity. My grandparents contributed £150K to help us buy it, which my STBXH has always acknowledged as my money. He also has a great relationship with my family.

My ex has a significant pension pot of around £300K, whereas I have nothing close to that. He earns approximately £60K, while I earn £80K. We also have £20K in savings.

He's proposed taking £70K (so he can buy a flat locally) and keeping his entire pension. Otherwise, he says he'll seek £175K, plus half of our savings and joint assets. He believes this is fair, citing my potential future inheritance and his lack of one as reasons why his pension should remain untouched.

We're trying to keep things amicable and avoid solicitors, but from what I've read, it seems he may have a case. However, I feel that the £150K was an early inheritance meant for me, and he shouldn't be entitled to it.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice?

I wish that was my soon to be ExH. Have this written up, agreed and signed by a solicitor before he changes his mind.

That is a really good deal. I'd be very suspicious.

Consider does he have other savings elsewhere that you're not currently aware?

Form E of the divorce will require all accounts to be disclosed if you are intending on having a financial order. He may not be aware of that. If I was you I'd find a way to drop it into conversation in passing.

I recommend that you do have a financial order so that you have a clean break.

He’d be absolutely mad to agree to walk away with pension only, you can’t put down a house deposit with pension money! There is no way he’d agree to that, utterly ludicrous suggestion.

Pension is not £ for £ equivalent to cash/equity, so I don’t think he’s getting a better deal at all, especially since he earns less than the OP and will need to pay maintenance.

You’re earning 80k but don’t have a pension? That doesn’t really make sense. You have enough time & earnings to build your own pension, so I think he’s being very fair.

She has a £40k pension but still time to add to it especially earning £80k.

Should the sharing of pension vs the sharing of equity be considered here?

Sharing of pension means it goes into a pension pot right ? (i.e. not accessible now but held for retirement)

Sharing of equity means that the money needs to be found now through sale of house etc.

So if you have a £350k split each of £700k assets then £150k is put into each of your pension pots through his £300k pension and £200k to then be taken in cash presumably through house sale and equity split. Do you want to go down the house sale route?

I could be wrong but possibly provides something to check out.

Depends on the pension.

so you want to keep the inheritance as 100% yours plus half of his pension? So what’s yours is yours and what’s his is yours also . Classic

you earn similar. So what’s he’s proposing is generally fair - so either work on the basis that you simply split house equity in total 50:50 and the pensions 50:50 , or some other mix that gets to 50:50

its not fair you expect his pension in the pot but your inheritance excluded.-( and typically only his pension accrued during the marriage would be included)

@YaWeeFurryBastard

Well he's saying that he didn't want to include the £150k inheritance, so if u take that out the split is £275k. So I don't think it's ludicrous to suggest he just takes his £300k pension, it's unlikely he wld accept but not unreasonable as a starting point being the £275k.

Anything above that means he is indeed wanting a part of the £150k inheritance.

I would not be giving anything above the £350k (50/50 split) so the most would be £50k and he keeps his pension. That means he has taken 50% of the inheritance that he has always said wasn't his 🙄

No it doesn’t. A DC scheme worth £300k is not equivalent to £300k cash. A DB scheme needs a proper CETV done by an actuary to give the cash equivalent cash value.

Well quite - you’ve proved my point in that if it’s a DB scheme then you need to call an actuary. So it depends on the type of pension.

It seems he’s saying he doesn’t want to include the inheritance as long as his pension is off the table, whereas the OP seems to want it both ways. The man needs to be able to pay for a deposit for a property suitable for him to house his children when he has them. This is only achievable with cash and not pension money. A judge likely will not sign off a consent order where OP keeps all the cash/equity and the ex walks away with no immediate cash for housing. Even £50k is pushing it to be honest depending on house prices in the area.

Not really, the OP says it’s a pension pot, which is a DC scheme. DB schemes do not have pots, it’s a guaranteed income.

Also if you lived together before marriage then assets accrued in that time count as marital, I believe.

It sounds like you have £670 in assets - the question is if you are having the kids the majority of the time is he still entitled to half? If he’s entitled to half - unless you have left out something - asking to keep his pension and take £70k seems £35k over half.

Is this what he needs to house himself? If so that is a big thing they will be looking at the ability for you both to be housed - pushing could mean a house sale

can you live comfortably, can you be amicable etc if so this seems fair enough to enable you both to move on

I would go to a direct access barrister and ask them to write a brief of advice - basically lay out all the facts and figures and they’ll come back t9 you with what’s a fair split and how likel6 you are to get it. You can then decide whether it’s worth pursuing versus racking up costs and ill will.

The views of friends and family can often be really unhelpful at such times. Some seem to think the woman keeps the house in all circumstances, or takes the ex to the cleaners, when in reality it's done more fairly.

So weird! I'm about to tell my H I want to split (it's v much on the cards) and have the almost exact set up.

House - 600
Equity - 250 (150 of that I put in from inheritance)
My salary - 80
His salary - 50
His pension - 300
My pension - 50

I am desperate to stay in family home and hoping he'll accept 80 cash and I'll leave his pension well alone. And I won't claim CMS (though understand that would be on trust really)

So yes I would go for the 70 offer. Clean break. You can build your own pension. If you can avoid house sale, stamp duty, solicitors, etc and just increase your mortgage and stay put - that is an amazing result.

You have £350,000 equity in the house (unless the £150,000 was ringfenced then as soon as it was handed over it went into the marital pot)

He had £300,000 pension
£20,000 savings and £40,000 in your pension

without any other savings, investments etc that is £710,000

So 50/50 is £355,000 (you only have to give him £55,000 not £70,000)

However if you are primary carer for dc (it sounds like he wants a small flat so won’t be able to do 50/50 shared care with the children, there is a chance you could end up with the split 60/40 or maybe more in which case I think what he is asking for is not amicable

Why are you paying anything

The figure the house is worth is only relevant to work out equity
You have £250,000 in the house and £350 in pension pots so £600,000

50/50 is £300,000 each. So he gets to keep his pension. But give up everything else