I’m sure I was used for a visa

[Yepoda]

Hello, I’ll keep this as short as I can. I sadly married a narcissist AGAIN and he knew the trauma I was already going through and promised me the world yet did not deliver. I was love bombed at first and pressured to marry so quickly for a spouse visa by selling me stories of our plans for future which were his plans. I was again heavily persuaded to take a loan out in my name for him to pay back an ex girlfriend in his country and family he owed money too. I also took on 4 occasions money out the ATM for “emergencies “ back home. I didn’t see the red flags I so desperately wanted to believe he loved me . Now I’m out the marriage, everyone has come forward saying he’s used me for a visa and money. I have cancelled his visa as he hasn’t lived here for 6 weeks I have to legally do this. Apparently I’m a monster the usual nasty comments .
My question in all of this is I have been told I should inform NMC about this as it’s not his first time in this pattern . I’m paying back this ex , will his next pay me back ?? Morally I don’t know if I can do it it seems vengeful.
what do you think ?

A HCA Is a Health care assistant in a care home or hospital

I didn’t explain that when he moved in he brought a suitcase full of medication he “brought” with him from the care home he worked at when I met him. I explain this further on in another thread below x

God he sounds like a selfish monster and he clearly did not love you.

I doubt this woman is an ex but more like someone he cares about because otherwise he would not care about paying her back

Also you made the mistake of not offering him your silence in return for repayment of the loan then reporting him to the home office!

This was not love - it was an attempt to secure residence by him - I’m surprised he did not try to have a child with you which would have sealed his deal to remain

He’s not a nurse in this country only in his own . He’s a health care assistant at a hospital which was made possible by my spouse visa otherwise he would still be in the care home he hated . On his skilled work visa which he badly wanted to give up and “marry me “ for a better future. For someone who didn’t have a lot of money growing up he sure like to frivolously spend it like it’s nothing . I was genuinely scared in the end as he wanted me to get another huge loan this time in my name so he could go back home we hadn’t even had a honeymoon. It was always about his plans. I had to keep telling him no when I found him filling out guarantor loans online . Thank god my first husbands name is still on the house deeds . Which he repeatedly asked me to get him to get his name off them

Amd I find it very bizarre that he had a suitcase full of meds! Why? Selling them? Using them himself?

No not selling it , he thought they would come in useful … honestly I’m right there with you I was shocked when he opened it when he moved in . I asked what the hell is this , he explained it away as they were going to throw them away . I was so enamoured with him after he put the suitcase under the bed I forgot it and we had our “love bomb stage “ but I clearly don’t like it was concerned I would get into trouble somehow and started squirrelling them away in the bin slowly

He wanted a child but I luckily had early menopause so couldn’t . But it’s something he went on about. Also how I would be considered a trophy if I went back to his country to meet family as blonde hair bright blue eyes is considered a win. Funny how things stuck in your mind but blinded by them at the start.

I feel quite humiliated and embarrassed I can’t even bring myself to tell people only my immediate family and best friend knows.

Im applying for divorce in the next week when I’m a little stronger …. Cos my stupid emotional soft self doesn’t want to add to his visa worries … I know I need a slap …. Probably need to talk to my best friend she’s fuming and will tell me the reality of it . Usually makes me focus