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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

How long was the time period from separating to filing for divorce?

32 replies

ERM192224 · 11/01/2025 20:14

Just that really. He left out of the blue in spring last year and forced the separation really. We have 3 very young children. I've always wanted to reconcile, he isn't interested in working things out 'at the moment' but doesn't want a divorce even though isn't in love with me and doesn't want to be with me! I think it's clear that I will have to make the first move with divorce so he can blame me probably. I'm not ready to go ahead yet and there's probably no right or wrong answer but I'm just wondering how long after you separated did you go ahead and did you feel ready to do so?

OP posts:
HippeePrincess · 11/01/2025 20:19

I petitioned at the same time as putting the family home on the market, wouldn’t sign anything until the finance side of things were sorted so our financial consent order was sorted before the divorce was. He did make things a bit difficult and so it took a while to sort and the house had been mid renovation so actually all in all the process took 2 years.
they have no fault divorce now so no reason for you not to file.

NattyTurtle59 · 11/01/2025 20:40

I've been separated for 22 years and we still aren't divorced! Sorry, that's not much help, is it.

IBlameTheDog · 11/01/2025 21:03

Three months. The exact amount of time it took for him to admit his affair.

mitogoshigg · 11/01/2025 21:04

We filed after 3 years jointly as we waited for the law to change

northernlight20 · 12/01/2025 20:05

2 weeks, just knew id had enough.

UnemployedNotRetired · 12/01/2025 20:51

Most of us here probably divorced when one criterion was "2 years separation with mutual consent", so 2 years. Otherwise had to be adultery or unreasonable behaviour. Nowadays with no fault decision, no particular reasons to wait unless there is a chance to reconcile.

LegoTherapy · 12/01/2025 20:52

About an hour. He walked out, I phoned my sister then a solicitor 🤣

brummumma · 12/01/2025 21:14

My ex husband also left without warning leaving me with 3 very young children. I filed 2 weeks later after the "truth" came out and I'd packed all his stuff

BlackChunkyBoots · 12/01/2025 21:26

I filed about six weeks after separating. 16 months later I'm struggling to sell the flat. There was only a delay because I initially couldn't afford the fee.

roycroppersshopper · 12/01/2025 21:30

6 weeks. Divorce, including financial order, finalised 14 months later. Just in the process of selling the house and that's that.

JoyousPinkPeer · 12/01/2025 21:32

NattyTurtle59 · 11/01/2025 20:40

I've been separated for 22 years and we still aren't divorced! Sorry, that's not much help, is it.

Do you realise he/she can still come after you for a financial settlement and/or inheritance. You can do the same of course.

LesLavandes · 12/01/2025 21:48

4 years. It was complicated

NattyTurtle59 · 13/01/2025 05:16

JoyousPinkPeer · 12/01/2025 21:32

Do you realise he/she can still come after you for a financial settlement and/or inheritance. You can do the same of course.

Show quote history

I'm not in the UK and all the financial stuff was sorted (legally) on separation. We are still good friends and (at this stage) will inherit something anyway. I'm retired and poor - he's the one with a good salary 😄

Allnewtometoo · 13/01/2025 17:53

5 years. I was mentally broken, and not at all in a position to take any action. Not from him leaving, but from the years of living with him. He told me twice he'd filed for divorce but hadn't- I would have been happy if he had. Eventually I felt strong enough to do it. 2 years pater it's still ongoing.

Fuckingpissedoff1234 · 13/01/2025 22:17

Be aware that the one who files for divorce also controls the timeframe.

I allowed ex-h to file (even though the police had a restraining order on him and I had plenty enough to file on the basis of unreasonable behaviour) - I decided to allow him to file on the basis of giving him that little "win".

He filed straight away, took 2 years to then apply for degree nisi and decree absolute was a month (I think?) after that. We still don't have a financial settlement 5 years on. The court threw out the agreement and he won't accept any compromise.

If possible always ensure you are the one who files.

PinkGorilla · 21/04/2025 16:30

Am I the only ones who's husband filed straight away? He shouted across the house at me one morning that he wanted a divorce and 10mins later he'd had his completed application emailed to me by the government website? Is that cruel, or OK if someone's had enough? No infidelity or abuse, just regular arguments.

KurtCobainLover · 21/04/2025 16:33

1 week, I found out about the affair on a Sunday and made him leave. He went to NY for a week with work and found the divorce petition waiting for him when he got back. Whole thing including the consent order took 4 months.

Fuckingpissedoff1234 · 21/04/2025 17:14

@JacquesHarlow I'm not sure what was funny about my post?

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/04/2025 17:34

I want one but I will be paying if I apply

he’s on uc and could do it and be a lot cheaper
but won’t

Fuzzypinetree · 21/04/2025 17:53

Not in the UK, so we have to wait for a year. I'll file as soon as that time is up and the house is sorted. Doesn't matter who files for it here. Costs get split regardless. Also doesn't matter that he cheated and is now living with the OW...

ExperiencedTeacher · 21/04/2025 18:01

10 months. I filed but we split the cost. Whole separation, including finances, sorted amicably.

RoastdinnerSunday · 21/04/2025 21:12

I didn't separate until after the divorce was finalised.

Singleaftermarriage · 21/04/2025 21:16

1 year after he left, I filed. Needed to get my head straight and he had had an affair. Also wanted proof he lived with her so he couldn't say he needed a home as he didn't. In the end I filed online then we used amicable so it cost very little. Didn't finalise until house signed over to me and all finances signed off. Took 7 months.

FrippEnos · 21/04/2025 21:19

1-2 weeks.

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/04/2025 22:25

Singleaftermarriage · 21/04/2025 21:16

1 year after he left, I filed. Needed to get my head straight and he had had an affair. Also wanted proof he lived with her so he couldn't say he needed a home as he didn't. In the end I filed online then we used amicable so it cost very little. Didn't finalise until house signed over to me and all finances signed off. Took 7 months.

What do you mean used amicable and chat very little. How’s much please