Do I kick him out?

[WelshAmethyst292]

My first post… I am so drained

We separated some time ago but he refuses to leave the house. I instigated the separation (he cheated online a couple of years prior and we struggled to recover) and he was fighting against it, but then the tables turned and I didn’t want to be separated but he had accepted it.

We live in limbo. He said he’s not 100% done with the marriage but I think he just says that so he can stay. I’ve said he needs to make a decision by the new year but I don’t really want him to go but this limbo is horrid.

I just don’t know whether to continue to live together and co parent for my daughters sake as she adores him or make him leave if it’s over. When we’re getting on I think I should let him stay but on the bad days I feel so desperately lonely and hurt. He doesn’t speak to me very nicely anymore but he can’t see it, most conversations are draining. I don’t actually see him that much due to his work hours. I just don’t know what to do, all my friends and family give me different advice.

I’m at a loss 😢

If it’s a jointly owned property how do you plan on ‘kicking him out’?

Go on line and file for divorce. Then contact a family solicitor on Monday.

Legally you can’t kick him out

but sounds like you do need to start divorce process so you can ultimately get to a settlement

He’s accepted that he will go if I wish for it but I don’t know what’s for the best anymore

She’s nearly 5. I wouldn’t say it’s toxic tbh it’s just bickering, no big arguments in front of her.

Of course you need to live separately. Living together after a split is horrendous and definitely not the best thing for your child. How you achieve living separately is up to you.

I wanted advice on whether to continue to live together or not. I know I can’t legally get him to go, he’s agreed he will if I ask for it

So the actual issue is are

1. to make the decision to tell him to leave, and
2. will he actually leave in that case like he said he would (seems doubtful)

So why aren’t you?

either you both agree you want to work on your marriage and both commit to do so or one or both wants out in which case takes steps to do that

Not nice for me sometimes, I don’t think my daughter is badly affected. The worst she hears is his abrupt tone with me, it’s not like we’re shouting and throwing things.

Could you ask him to go as a breathing space for you all? You might all be in a better position to make the decision with a bit of a break

Yes, all true. I’m suffering internally, I don’t believe my daughter is effected. She hears a bit of bickering like she would in most families.

I don’t know? That’s why I posted, I’m confused. I’m from divorced parents myself, my daughter cries every time her dad doesn’t sleep at the house. I genuinely don’t know what’s best

It’s not always horrendous? Every situation is different

This is a genuine post ladies. I’ve spent a year not knowing whether to let him stay or not. I’m scared for my daughter, I don’t want her to get hurt, I don’t know what’s for the best. I’m really lost so would appreciate a touch of kindness, please 😩

I’m sorry OP, but living with deeply unhappy parents will definitely be affecting her.
And in my experience, most families have relatively little ‘bickering’, if any

Funny you should say that, I’m a good actor actually. But yes, she obv is becoming more aware of the situ