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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

I want to separate, what are my options?

26 replies

idontknowwhattodo1990 · 26/12/2024 19:55

Married with 1 DS aged 8.

I want to separate.

He has anxiety and depression "treatment resistant" and is prone to mood swings and can't take it anymore. Medication, therapy, nothing works!

DS loves him to bits. He is a good provider, doesn't really spend a lot on himself in terms of clothes, car, etc.

But I can't live with this.

He wants to stay together but I've had enough and feel like I've given him enough chances.

Situation is:

I have a pension, he doesn't
I work PT and don't earn much
I thought he was a reasonably high earner but is self employed and looking at his accounts earns about 40k (he honest to a fault so I don't doubt this, just think we don't actually spend that much)
We have no savings, he has a few grand of credit card debt and personal loan that he's on top of
Joint mortgage but he pays for pretty much everything other then food shop inc. mortgage, all home improvements, insurance, car, holidays

He has said he doesn't think I can take the mortgage on and that he will look into buying me out. I think he's right as I get only been in this job a few months.

He is happy to have 50/50 as he can work pretty much any hours he wants. I'd rather have DS more though.

What is my position? I imagine he will get a solicitor out of necessity. I don't have one yet. I just want an idea of my position? My take home is only about 1k net and he has the advantage of earning more and being able to keep the family home.

Will he get more of the house as he's paid it all? Can he get half my pension? He's honest (could save thousands a year in his line is work but declare every penny) so I don't think he'll screw me over but at the same time I know he wants to make a go of it and will take half of her thinks that's what the law says.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 27/12/2024 15:42

If they are going to co parent their housing need will be the same. A two bed property in the local area (to facilitate the child getting to school). The % time with a parent primarily impacts on child support, the day to day of parenting. Not the fixed cost of housing them. The OP won’t get a bigger share if she has them more of the time. She will get child support for that.

The split will be based on their relative incomes, net income or take home income. It’s not their salary ad the resident parent will have other income. For both income must be maximised. The problem for the OP is that a self employed person will be declaring the minimum income for tax purposes.

A MH condition doesn’t disbar someone from parenting. As long as it is managed. If he has been discharged by the NHS then it is presumably managed. Being difficult to live with doesn’t reach a threshold for safeguarding.

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