We have 4 children between 16-6 years. Have decided on separation however we don’t fully on agree on how much we should be telling them.
Bit of a back story partner has worked away a lot in the last 20 years and the children very much been looked after by myself apart from weekends even tho he always struggled with the involvement due to ASD and being super introvert. I must say he always supported them with the sports and always been there on any event.
Partners mental health has not been great so he’s very much been a bit of an absent father in a way of even when he is here, he won’t engage with them or spend time with them. Nevertheless the kids always ask after a day or so where daddy is so i’m sure he is very important to them.
He feels we need to sit the children down and tell them that he will live somewhere else even though i feel that actually him not always seeing them, will inspire him to make it count when he does see them.
i feel we can just make up an excuse as to why he is somewhere else most of the time and by the time they realise things, they will already used it and have a better relationship with him so they will take the news better and accept that it is for the best.
Does this make sense?
I honestly feel the kids will hugely benefit from the calmer home environment and have a more level headed mom and dad.
Tell me how you dealt with your separation?