Inheritance before final hearing

[Mumof3confused]

Our financial situation has been somewhat complicated by my ex losing their (single) parent and now set to inherit. It won’t be a lot but more than enough to cover what they claim to be their needs. They were going for all of the available liquid equity despite being the stronger party, whereas I’ve insisted on splitting all assets 50:50.

Am I safe to assume that his argument for more than 50% (and leaving me knee-deep in debt) has now evaporated due to his financial situation changing?

To be clear, I am not after a share of his inheritance. Our marital assets are 100% down to what I personally brought in to the marriage and he has prolonged the proceedings by arguing for 70% to go to him for made-up reasons (my barrister has called him Machiavellian which is an accurate description). We’ve spent £80k on litigation - I even offered him a £50k lump sum at the outset to motivate him to settle and this was not enough.

Our final hearing has been adjourned twice due to his actions, lies and delays, and is now scheduled for next summer. By this time he may not have received his inheritance due to it being tied up in property, by he will have a reasonable idea of what he is set to receive.

If he is being a complete arsehole then ask your solicitor about going for half his inheritance: call his fucking bluff and see how he likes it.

He’s an about arsehole, doesn’t contribute towards his children, financially controlling, I have a non-molestation order etc etc.

I wouldn’t go for the inheritance but we have quite a bit of assets and I’d quite like to get a larger share of that if I can, as I contributed about £250k in total and he put in nothing, and zero effort throughout the marriage in every aspect.

I suppose I’m hoping that all of his delays might somehow turn out to benefit me (it’s been three years)!

OP, politely, stop being a wet blanket here. It's time to toughen up. Stop pandering to this ghastly man and start calling the shots. Being decent, or self sacrificing ( why?) has got you nowhere so far, so stop running up the legal bills ineffectually. He's not going to change.

Remember, it's not just your interests you are defending, it is your children's - whom this wankbadger doesn't see fit to support.

Or do you wish to spend another three years letting him drag it out, running up legal bills, and the rest of your life regretting it? Come on OP! Have you got a fierce friend or relative who will help you through it?

If he thinks you are going for his inheritance he might settle at a reasonable split.

Shoot for the stars get the moon.

I’m not sure what you suggest could be done tbh. Do you have personal experience of the family court? It’s not as easy as just throwing your weight around and calling the shots. I spent £20k on lawyers before realising it got me nowhere so I’m now self representing. Makes no difference when the lawyers on the other side are only out to line their own pockets. We have a final hearing listed and I have no way of speeding things up as far as I can tell. The only way to reach a settlement out of court is to make him an offer he can’t refuse, I’ve offered as much as I could and he declined. He’s since ran up another £60k legal bills. No doubt his solicitors are promising him the stars.

I think you are on the right tracks saying it is relevant to his request for a bigger share of the assets. But the devil is in the detail as to how relevant it is.

I agree there is no point in trying to bluff him over this. He will know you won’t get half. Just make your case to him and the court over the material impact that this makes to his case for more equity. He will either concede or you let the judge decide. There isn’t anything else you can do. If it goes to court he is the one with something to lose.

How large is it?

you need to show that this reduces his need for higher share of marital assets.

@LemonTT we’ve both had a chunk of the equity from the sale of the FMH already and both already housed. He claims he needs £60k for renovations to his home (which he wrecked after moving in, before and after photos to prove it) and to repay his family funds he’s spent on litigation.

I’ve debts relating to renovations to the family home and expenses setting up home, as he took everything from the family home and I had to start from scratch. All I got was my own clothes but he took all other contents of the home. Half of the remaining liquid funds won’t clear my debts.

I don’t know but I believe more than what he states his ‘needs’ are.

Just tell him that you are sorry for his loss and of course his inheritance changes everything as it is now a marital asset. you don't have to actually go after his inheritance - just put the fear of god into him that you will. Make him realise that now that he has some assets, you can squeeze him the same way he is squeezing you. Make him want to settle with you asap. Wanker.

OP, tell him the inheritance is in the pot. You need to be firm on this or you will regret it.

Why, it’s never going to considered as a marital asset. But it is a personal asset b

I wouldn’t have a leg to stand on and it would only cause more delay.

When I was in court, judge basically said the inheritance won't be touched as it was never a joint marital asset.

However he said that this is only the case if the marital pot is split and it's enough for us both to move on.

If it's not enough, then the inheritance could be considered.

@MeThinksTime I’m not asking to touch the inheritance but I’m interested to know whether the judge meant that it won’t be considered at all as funds which one party has access to?

Splitting current assets 50:50 does not clear my debts but he can clear his with funds to spare. He’d then come away debt free with savings AND his inheritance and I’d be left with debt. That just does not feel ok considering our assets all came from property which I owned when we got together. I’d like to come out of this debt free and wondering whether there’s now a chance this may happen.

I've been through this. We ended up with three final hearings due to my ex husband refusing to negotiate and his barrister filibustering so that we ran out of time every hearing. However, I got the settlement I asked for which has given me total freedom from the dick and eventually early retirement because of good investment.

What I am wondering is what you were advised at FDR? That should give you an indication of what to expect at Final Hearing. You say you're offering 50/50 but that is a starting point and if you've ended up with the children and more expenses the settlement should reflect that. Are you being too generous? Also have pensions been taken into account? Also earning potential? You need to protect your future because it's likely you will end up housing your children well into adulthood. Whilst your ex-husband is free to concentrate on his job, remarry and build up his pension.

I would advise that you use a barrister for your hearing as you may end up at a huge disadvantage. I didn't use one for FDR and his barrister presented a totally false witness statement to the judge to influence his judgement the wrong way. I wasn't given a copy and the judge was tutting and shaking his head at me. It was an attempt to brow beat me into backing down. Nasty tactics.

You can engage a direct access barrister which negates the need for a solicitor who rack up huge bills for very little. Also bear in mind that barristers are the front line in court and are able to give you a fair idea of the outcome.

I would also include the inheritance as, if there's a will, it's guaranteed assets and can go towards the needs of both parties. Ring fencing occurs when there's no need to share. You will need to request updated Form Es. Don't leave it to the hearing or it may be disregarded.

I wish you luck. It's a horrible, traumatic experience and usually the result of one party being unrealistic. I would also keep the details to yourself irl. I've had some very judgemental comments from a 'friend' who attended court with me. I think she was hoping it wouldn't go as well for me as it did. There's still a lot of misogynistic prejudice out there about gold digging women getting decent divorce settlements.

How did you end up with several final hearings? I have a fantastic barrister although self represented at the FDR which was wasted due to new allegations by my ex’s barrister which meant that the judge requested a forensic accountants report and ordered a final hearing.

I had an incredible direct access barrister at my final hearing which was unfortunately cancelled on the day due to my ex’s barrister ‘taking ill’ just as we were about to go in and she realised she had misunderstood the forensic accountants report completely.

We are now 6m away from the final hearing and this inheritance has come into the picture.

I’ve not heard of an updated Form E being requested at any point. We’ve submitted ES2 prior to each hearing.

I don’t expect or need the inheritance to be added to marital assets, I just want what’s fair from the assets we have and hope that I can get a larger one now that his needs are met from elsewhere.

I agree with PP. You just need to put the fear of god into him that you're going to come after the inheritance. The judge would consider it if you didn't have enough in the pot for both of you to move on. I imagine you might not even get to an FDR on that basis as it might just convince him to settle (hoping so for you!)...

What are your debts? Surely they are marital debts and should be paid before any split anyway? Especially fmh renovations?

We’re at final hearing stage.

He’s spent 3 years trying to get out of paying towards the cost of FMH renovations because he now ‘needs’ money for his onward purchase. He bought a house and stripped all the carpets, wallpaper and ripped out built in cabinets. It now looks like a crack den and he says it’s not suitable for housing a family. I submitted photos of what it looked like on Rightmove - perfectly fine.

My other debts relate to setting up home from
scratch as he moved in secret one weekend when I wasn’t there and made off with everything, and I mean everything. He wouldn’t even let me have a cake tin to make a birthday cake for our daughter.

Even if the FMH renovations are paid ‘off the top’ and remainder split I will end up with some remaining debt, whereas he’ll have £20k or so spare (and now he will have his inheritance too).

Yes @Mumof3confused but you always have the option to settle between yourselves before the final hearing

Do you think I could possibly make a case for a bigger share of the assets based on my needs and the fact that he’s now got this inheritance about to be paid out?

Yes 💯

Fingers crossed he will come to bitterly regret stealing three years of my life by abusing me via the court system.