adoption during divorce

[stumbleriltskin]

(On behalf of my partner)
Hello all.

Nov 23, hubby filed for divorce, I was fostering a 2yo, ( my 29th child)
Dec 23, I was "retired" from fostering
May 24 Hubby filed for adoption as a single parent
Nov 24 Now at financial disclosure stage, and he's listing the child ( and our 19 yr old daughter who's just started her 2nd yr of uni and is living in halls of residence) as children at the family home.

As I am not on the adoption papers, and as my daughter is over 18, how can I put this up in order for him not to benefit financially.

Thank you,

Footnote, my partner is living with me in France as she has zero income or savings, and the situation in the home was untenable.
We are just managing financially, but we can't afford a solicitor, whereas he can.

So is the 2 year old living with you or with him?

Is this part of the divorce settlement? As in he is trying to get more from the divorce by registering as a single parent? Am I understanding that right?

He adopted the child after I moved out, and he is now a single parent in the family home.
I think he is seeking to retain a larger % of the finances due to having a (now) 4 yr old to look after, but I don't believe I am liable for the costs he signed up for when adopting, especially as he had filed for divorce 6 months before.
thank you for your interest.

Probably not but he maybe entitled to a larger share of the marital assets.

Well DD is still a child of the family home and still needs a room for holidays and that isn't with you if you are living with a partner in France with no money as you can't support her and she is still a dependent.

The adopted child is presumably nothing to do with you now and you won't be going for any sort of contact. But I'd expect courts would see it as best for her not to move out of that family home due to her life experience already

You need to see a UK solicitor (presuming that you all live in the UK normally) and get some proper advice on this very niche situation.

Why wouldn't you want him to benefit financially, if it ultimately benefits the 4 year old who knows only him as a caregiver? Pretty selfish of you.

You need to discuss this with lawyers based in France as the law will be different compared to the UK.

Is EXH in Uk ? Are you divorcing in the UK ?
Obviously the child he adopted is not a joint child.
Your own daughter is considered an adult surely ?

Is everyone in the situation living in France? or does your partner and her STBEXhusband and their DD live in the UK normally?

The 4 year old is not her child. Would you give more than needed for a child that had nothing to do with you ?

They were fostering the child together I think (if I’ve read that correctly) so not really ‘nothing to do with her’ if that’s the case.

Your daughter is an adult not a child firstly even if at uni.
secondly - why was a man divorcing allowed to adopt a child during the process of divorce? That strikes me as all wrong! Poor child!

Why shouldn't they be if that had been the plan.
Ops partner has left the family home last year, and is now living in France with a new partner (quick moves!)
Pretty morally bank of her to foster a child for 2 years, bugger off to another country with a new bloke, now trying to causes issues in the adoption? Got yourself a beauty there OP!

What do you mean, you 'were retired' from fostering? Not that you stopped of your own accord?

Surely adoption services will contact you as a recent ex as part of his assessment process, so you will be able to explain the situation to them then?

And am I right in thinking your ex hasn't applied to adopt the two year old you were fostering, he's applied to be assessed for adoption in general, without a specific child in view, but is listing your former joint foster child and your biological 19 year old as dependent in the home?

I don't think it's anything to do with the former foster child and he's only in the middle of the assessment stage now. Knowing the UK adoption assessment process from seeing friends go through it, he will be asked a lot of questions about applying to be assessed so soon after the end of a relationship, and the OP would be contacted.

It sounds like child was already living there as they fostered together so it's some level of stability for child to stay with adopted dad?

Can't believe the other parent has gone off to France and wants to make sure they're left with as little as possible.

This, @stumbleriltskin why do you and your lovely gf want to create chaos in this child's life?

Daughter is welcome to stay in France with us whenever.
No contact is requested with the child, fostering was my work. At 59 yrs old, this was the 29th child I have fostered, at 4 yrs old, he's needing constant care. Now its my time to put my feet up.
Why should he expect an extra payment through the divorce when he adopted 6 months after filing for divorce?
As for a solicitor, no free advice scheme is available as I have a 12 month visa to be in France.

I have fostered 29 children, specialising in 0-5 yrs. I have arrived at Police stations and Hospitals right through the nights, days, 24/7. All my meagre wage for doing so fell below minimum wage. I looked after the house, looked after our daughters needs, bought and cooked food every day. At 59 yrs old i need a rest.
I have nothing, he's said his income is £31k, on his Form E, whereas his bank statement shows about £51K.
Before criticizing me, try walking that mile in my shoes.

Married in UK, so divorce is in UK.

Yes to Ex in UK, Yes he adopted 6 months after serving me with divorce proceedings, and I believe our daughter should be seen as an adult, but no one on here has yet advised after having had a similar situation.

The 19-year old won’t be counted. University is tertiary education.

No idea about the other child.

I have a 12 month residency in France, but I'm not allowed to work here. STBEX is in the family home in the UK. Both UK passport holders.

The Courts will look at the needs of the parties to reach a fair settlement.

Take a different example... if a marriage broke down due to an affair and that affair resulted in a baby who lived with the father, that would still be a dependent person who the father needed to provide for. To that extent it is relevant to the question of fairness in division of assets.

What assets are there to share? Do you own a home together? Savings? The general starting point is for an equal split in a marriage which was not short but if one party has needs greater than the other that is taking into account.

You should also know that since you live with a new partner, the court can require you to provide their assets and income details. This is because a person living with another shares the costs of their lives with that person and so it becomes relevant.

Ideally you need legal advice. There are places in England which do a fixed cost first appointment and can do it virtually.

Thanks, my daughter at Uni, I'm pretty sure, won't be classed as a child, it's the adopted child that could be put forward as a dependant

Thank you Notatinydancer.
I was the 24/7 foster carer to this child, since birth, I am the one he regards that way.