Spousal maintenance

[Rocketman2]

30 Year marriage. Disabled child. I couldn’t work although tried a few times but unable due to dc. Husband on large salary. Had affair this year and now I need to support myself and dc.

what kind of spousal maintenance can I expect?

Oh forgot to say spousal counts as income for universal credit so any you do get would reduce your claim

Does your H also want the divorce ?
But yes, you need proper legal advice.

Does he want to divorce?

H can’t stop the divorce even if he doesn’t want it

but can of course try to delay or not engage

No of course he can't. But if he doesn't want to divorce it may be prudent for the OP to consider reconciliation.
Mainly to get her ducks in a row, but her reality of being divorced is pretty bleak- it maybe worth looking into rebuilding, lots of couples survive affairs.
I understand if she feels it is unforgivable.

Obviously he maybe driving it, in which case I think you need really good legal advice - having a disabled child that I assume from what you have written will continue to be needing care in the future puts you in a difficult place to support yourself .

I remember reading of an unusual case, very similar to yours, where the husband was made to pay full spousal support permanently, due to the wife being unable to ever work again due to the childs needs. So it does happen, but you probably need an excellent solicitor.

@SisterMaryLuke but what if he lost his job, became unwell himself? Or income dropped for anything else?

I really don't know the answer to that. If I can find the details, I will post. I know the husband earned a huge salary and most of it had to be given to her and their child.

I don't think it's unusual in these circumstances although "full" might not be "good." Also, the problem with spousal maintenance is that it will be treated as "unearned income" and deducted pound for pound against benefits. As the OP will be a full time carer, her benefits could be compromised and ideally she would want both her benefits and maintenance.

A way to do this might be a claim for maintenance under the Children's Act 1989. Courts can order this for adult children who are disabled and the amount will not impact a benefit claim.

However, another complication of this case is that the parents are already in their 50s and there is no pension provision. It would have happened regardless of the divorce but at some point the payer's income is going to fall off a cliff. If the spousal maintenance ordered is too generous in the view of the payer, that might be sooner rather than later.