Spousal maintenance

[Rocketman2]

30 Year marriage. Disabled child. I couldn’t work although tried a few times but unable due to dc. Husband on large salary. Had affair this year and now I need to support myself and dc.

what kind of spousal maintenance can I expect?

Unless he's on an absolutely massive salary rather than just large you won't get any spousal maintenance

How old is the child?

How high is his large salary? How old is your DC and do you have more DC?

Had affair this year - you did or he did?

Depends on a lot of factors. How much he earns, how many assets there are to divide up, how disabled your child is (and what sort of care they need going forwards), how close your husband is to retirement, if it goes to court whether a judge agrees with you that you cannot work at all. And many other factors besides.

Also, asking for spousal maintenance can be as much tactical as it is can be a court decision. By which I mean payers of spousal maintenance tend to have a "breaking point" when they can no longer be bothered to get out of bed in the morning that may be lower than what a court would award. If possible, it's good to agree something that both parties can live with so that the payments are stable and litigation is avoided. E.g. hypothetically it might be better to get £500 a month regularly rather than get awarded £800 a month after spending £15k in court to be awarded it only for your husband to "lose" his job or to find he keeps litigating to get the payment reduced.

Child maintenance may also be an option depending on the disability of your child too (adult children can receive it if disabled). This might be a better option as you could also claim benefits for yourself that would not be affected by spousal maintenance.

Irrelevant. Won't make a difference to a financial remedy.

You need to consult a solicitor. There are too many variables to be able to give you an answer here. I would advise you to gather as much financial information as you can, savings, investments, pensions, salary, bonuses etc and take that with you when you see the solicitor so they have as full a picture as possible.

Your ages are relevant as a judge would be realistic about earning potential.

Firstly you will need to agree asset split, this will be house equity, pension and any savings. It's likely you will be expected to return to work and maximise earnings, typically 3 years.

A clean break is preferred, which means the financial agreement has a clean end, rather than ongoing support, which was a feature of divorces many years ago. You may hear of settlements that offered significant spousal maintenance for a long period of time. That's unlikely to be in recent years as multiple cases have established that the weaker financial partner has to maximise their earnings.

It will be a shock and a big adjustment but you will manage financially - necessity is the mother of invention

I wish you well - it's a difficult time but you will get through it

.

Thank you all

so we are in 50’s.
dc is late teens but needs constant care (think nurse tespite until Covid took it away from us)
His earnings are well into 6 figures
mine are zero as I’m primary carer now
he had affair

I’m so worried. I’ve gone from security and being sole carer, to suddenly wondering how I’m going to service, as ultimately I have to be there 24/7 for dc, alone.

When would the spousal maintenance end? He cant be supporting you in defintely for the rest of your lives what if he reitres,loses his job etc. It's rare when it's a rewarded and usually there's a time frame when it would end. I would suggest applying for maintenance. Best thing would speak to a solicitor to explore options even if you get a higher equity in your home.

You'll probably find this thread will now be inundated with "advice" on both sides of the argument about spousal maintenance. It won't be helpful.

I think you will be eligible for some spousal maintenance but it's very difficult to say how much or for how long. This is because, for example, I don't know how many assets there are or how long your husband has earned well. If for example he has been a high earner for a long time there might be more than enough assets to split for your needs and spousal maintenance won't be necessary, or at least not for long. Or maybe there isn't and it's needed for longer.

Another question is whether you need to provide the care round the clock for your child or whether they should be in school during the day etc. I don't know the disability so apologies if this question sounds silly based on the facts. However, as a general rule you'll need to bottom out that you are doing everything you can to mitigate your own situation first.

You ought to go and get some decent legal advice (not the free half hour). What will follow here will almost certainly be garbage from people who don't work in the field.

If it's towards the million mark per annum you'll stand a chance. Not guaranteed, but plausible.

Under £500k, you won't be getting any. You need to look at how you support yourself. COVID was not last week so that's not really an excuse, you need to look for how your son can practically receive the care he needs, and you can work.

Disabled child, round the clock care. This is not a "normal" case so be careful about the "advice" you give.

I can’t really give too much info as it’s outing. But dc definately requires extensive care

How oldis ds? Has he had his benefits assessed?

Benefits assessed and on dla and mobility. 15

Does your DS attend school?

You really need solicitors advice as it's complex with your son's additional needs.. also benefit advice to see what you would be entitled to as a lone carer.

The answer is you need to have a decent solicitor or better still, he feels guilty enough to do the right thing. The best outcome is probably that he offers a decent settlement plus ongoing support for your dc until at least age 21 without the court being involved (and saves thousands)

Typically you can expect 5 years or so rather than indefinite support for you, but you will be entitled to split his pension too, if that's substantial that could be taken into account so you can start drawing at 60 as an example. Another factor is that your dc will be entitled to uc in their own name once 18 unless in residential school, and the council can be requested to transition to independent living from then though typically it's early 20's, depending on family circumstances and whether they want it.

See a solicitor. You are entitled to spousal maintenance and some of his pension.

He has no pension. For some reason he didn’t believe in them as thought he had enough prevision through his salary

You're really going to need some specialist advice for this. The challenge you might find is that even if there is spousal maintenance (and what you have said makes it sound more likely than not) it might not be as much as you hope for.

You need to put "might" in there. Nothing is a given and there is no such thing as "entitled to" in divorce.

Your best bet would be to see a solicitor, many offer either a free or lower cost first appointment. Make sure you have as much details about the finances with you so that you can get the most of the appointment.

Based on my own experience of divorce I believe that spousal maintenance is increasingly rare, it’s a lot more common to have a clean break, although with you being a carer to a child with complex needs this may be considered. However I would recommend seeking to get a much higher share of joint assets, and minimising your reliance on spousal maintenance. This is because your stbx could in the future seek to have it revisited and it therefore could reduce. Plus I believe spousal maintenance is classed as income for benefits purposes.

I think the advice on here is not necessarily correct

you have a long marriage, a child with complex needs (will that continue to adult?) and no earnings.

it’s likely you will get some spousal, at least for an interim period but as someone says it will depend on what assets there are, you may be awarded higher share instead.

what you need to think is whether spousal is the way to go / you’re depending on him retaining his earnings - what if he lost his job or had yo take less sajary eyc? If he’s 50s also he might not be able to maintain a demanding role for next 10 years or so. Its puts in a position where you are relying on something which is not guaranteed or certain

in the immediate situation you need to understand who will pay bills etc while you’re actually sorting out the settlement.

you should also look to put in a claim for universal credit

you should seek independent legal advice too