Maintenance

[Hall84]

Hoping for some wise words! Separated from H in July and am currently with DD at my parents. I am paying them rent.

He is still in our house and I'm paying half the mortgage (but not the bills). Since l moved out he's given me some towards school uniform but nothing else for DD. I'm the very slightly higher earner but by no means a high earner.

Through the summer he did 1-2 nights a week as DD was in nursery by our house. Since starting school he has in theory done every other weekend but no overnights in October.

His solicitor says that he doesn't have funds for maintenance until the house is sold. Ultimately I can't see how he will have more money to pay any maintenance once the sale goes through, even with smaller mortgages the difference in rates means we'll be paying the same as we are jointly now.

So, straight to a csa claim or try and reach agreement (ideally to include the money i should have had once the house is sold . . . )?

You're not necessarily "adequately rehoused." If you go off and get a rental that's big enough for the children then maybe that will be the case although they're still not going to let one party take or even temporarily use all of the assets because the other can rent. The court is still going to want a clean break between the parties as soon as reasonable.

If you're living with parents or in a studio flat whilst the other is in a 4 bed house, then you won't be considered adequately housed either.

That’s really helpful thanks

Thanks for everyone's thoughts, as expected things are never black and white.

I haven't wanted to jump straight into a cms claim because I recognise that finances right now are not straightforward, equally I don't want to be taken advantage of.

Just to be clear, he pays:

1/2 the mortgage
Bills at FMH
Shopping (which will include some for DD when she's there)
Petrol, train travel for work, mobile etc
His credit card bill (this is a larger bill that is being paid down)

I pay:

1/2 the mortgage
Rent/keep to my parents (this figure is slightly more than bills at FMH)
Occasional top-up shopping/treats at my parents house
Petrol, train travel for work, mobile etc
My credit card bill
All DDs costs (he picks up from school on a a Friday and generally I pick up, it's just under an hour's journey)

I'm happy to collect DD on the basis that it works for us, I'd seen on a thread that it was positive for the child to be taken home talking about what's to come in the week ahead rather than a long goodbye journey. Plus it means I can't be messed about in terms off drop off times.

What I'm hoping we can achieve is a clean break, 50/50 equity in the house and each walk away with our pensions (obviously subject to figures and advice from a solicitor). We can then each move to a smaller property and take over our own expenses.

You need to talk to your solicitor about whether you not paying the mortgage will affect your equity in the property. it likely will.

There is nothing to stop him getting in a lodger to make ends meet.

Possibly - unless that impacts ability for dd to stay.

ultimately op needs to press on the settlement and get to end state.

My ex SIL stopped paying the mortgage soon after she walked out (left kids with my brother) and by the time the house was sold it was well over a year later and ex SIL’s share wasn’t affected at all. My brother didn’t request it should be, don’t know if he could have, but ex SIL worked for years when he didn’t so I don’t think he would have dared.