Newly single mum of 1 - confused about what support/benefits I might be entitled to?

[MCE1]

Hi all

Looking for some advice/wisdom for those who have gone through something similar...

Recently split up with partner (of 15 years - we're not married) and we have x1 3yo daughter. Not only am I devasted about the end of the relationship but we have literally just moved into a (rental) house in a different part of London, so I am away from friends/familiar place which is causing a lot of anxiety as we navigate the split and further upheaval for our daughter.

We co-own a flat (shared ownership) which we started to rent out to tenants (it's a long story but it's currently undergoing cladding remediation works so we can't sell it) so that we could move and rent this bigger property.

We are planning to get out of the house contract early (have spoken to the agency and they have agreed if we continue to pay rent until new tenants are found and we have to pay a get-out fee too) and go our separate ways. I will be sole carer so need to find a place for my daughter and I to live in.

I am torn between trying to find a smaller place in this new area for my daughter and I, or if I go back and live with my mum for a bit. The latter is not hugely appealing as I will definitely feel like a loss of independence and it will be another significant move/upheaval for my daughter - we'd have to change nurseries again etc.

I'm also worried that I need to apply for a reception school place for daughter by Jan '25, and that's making me think I need to know where I want us to live asap - so that she has a few months to get used to new place/area etc. and start to get to know potential peers before she moves into school.

The other worry for me is financial. I work FT and earn about £45k which I know is decent but won't get me very far in terms of solo renting/paying solo childcare costs etc. I don't think I can expect to get anything from ex partner. I'm also thinking of cutting my hours down so that I can spend more time with daughter, and do the wrap-around childcare to reduce costs on that front.

I'm not sure what sort of benefits I will be entitled to (if any)? I did a quick calculation on Entitledto which came up with £339 a week (which seems a lot?!) Does anyone have experience of applying for Universal Credit, on these sort of scenarios?

Grateful for any words of advice or wisdom! Thanks so much.

Your ex will have to pay Child Maintenance.

You really need to prioritise housing imo. School open days will be happening now so try and visit some likely candidates and weigh against affordability of housing in the catchment area. Better schools tend to have higher house prices.

Unless ex is self employed, unemployed or will move abroad/job hop then yes he will be paying cms. You should put the application in now really unless he is contributing to your and DDS living expenses. Check if you can get them when still living in the house if you are doing this.

With CMS they can't back date the application and it also takes weeks minimum so apply the moment you are eligible.

Wouldn't your first port of call to be to look to her father for financial help rather than tax payers?
Why can't you apply for child maintenance?

Now isnt the time to be cutting your hours. You need to maximise your income, not decrease it.
How far away is your mum and will moving there prevent your daughter having a relationship with her dad?

As pp said you'll be entitled to maintenance from your ex. Is the property still rented? If so you'll also be entitled to half the rental profits presumably. The property will cause you problems as far as claiming benefits unfortunately. Any rental income will be treated as income as far as benefits are concerned, also whilst they will disregard the value for a length of time, you'll be expected to be taking steps to realise your share of any equity. It's not going to be a straight forward claim I'm afraid.

Thanks - that's a good suggestion, to visit likely schools in either the area we're in now or near where my mum lives. Will do that!

Ex is self-employed...didn't realise that means he won't be eligible to pay child maintenance... is there a way around this? Assuming not and it will be down to a (hopefully) amicable discussion, although I just know he won't be up for it a he'll be worried about his own finances.

Yeah totally agree - I do not want to be seen as sponging off tax payers, especially as I pay my own taxes already.

A friend mentioned universal credit as an option, but I've never had to apply for benefits before, so wasn't sure what would be the best option.

It's v unlikely ex-partner will help will costs whilst everything is up in the air with trying to find new homes for ourselves, but yes definitely something I would want him to help cover but as a previous poster mentioned if he is self-employed this might not be a thing?

Is child maintenance different to child benefit?

Thanks - that's a good suggestion, to visit likely schools in either the area we're in now or near where my mum lives. Will do that!
Ex is self-employed...didn't realise that means he won't be eligible to pay child maintenance... is there a way around this? Assuming not and it will be down to a (hopefully) amicable discussion, although I just know he won't be up for it a he'll be worried about his own finances.

Mum is SE London and we're currently in East, so not a million miles away. That's part of the thinking as we definitely agree we want him to have a good relationship and be present for his daughter.

Thanks this is really useful. Yes, our property is still rented. I was thinking about whether we could somehow get access back to that flat and live in it on our own, but the stupid thing is that I wouldn't be able to 'afford' the mortgage payments according to the bank, even though renting is more expensive! Such a stupid system...

The other problem is that we can't sell it so can't release the equity...cladding works are not due to finish for another year/year and a half!

If it helps, as shared ownership you could claim the rental part of it through universal credit if you did move back, would that make the mortgage part affordable? Since you can't sell currently would ex be willing to let you move in and take over mortgage payments without remortgaging? As far as maintenance it's not that he's not eligible to pay as self employed, it's that it's easier to hide income. Cms use earnings declared to tax office to base their calculations on, if the mortgage was relatively recent and he's declaring earnings properly then you absolutely will be entitled to maintenance. His share of the rental income would also be counted as income for maintenance as well.

That’s a vast amount of benefit!
£339
Why do people work if they can get that via taxpayers?!

Crazy.

Pursue the father for child support.

ahh i see, yes that could be an option and would def make mortgage payments affordable (it's crazy as the rent is extortionate but is meant to be 'affordable' and is through a housing association).

i understand now re: self-employed... would be pretty shitty if he didn't own up properly to pay the right amounts for his daughter.

yeah crazy isn't it, no doubt the calculator wrong...

So your ex won’t pay for his child?

I earned around that and single parent of one and couldn’t claim any benefits. CM will look at access and tax returns.

If you're renting to tenants the house you own is an asset, you might not qualify for UC at all. You can't claim the housing element of UC to rent somewhere else, you can only claim for the property you own's rent if you live there.

How much does he earn? I know you said he's self employed, but do you know roughly how much he makes in net profit in a tax year?

The shared ownership property that you're renting out is going to be an issue. When did the tenants move in? Assuming it's a fixed term tenancy, how long is the term and is there a break clause? Ideally you would evict the tenants and move back in, if that's possible (not always a quick fix especially if they are in the fixed term).

Something else to consider would be to see if it's possible to change the ownership terms - for example if you and your ex jointly own 40% and the housing association owns 60%, would it be possible for the housing association to buy him out, so that you own 20% (on your own) and the HA owns 80%? You would have more rent to pay but you could claim the housing element of universal credit to help with rent costs.

If you don't move back into the property it's going to cause you problems with your Universal Credit claim, both in terms of the equity and the rental income. It may well be possible to claim UC but you will need to seek specialist advice - I suggest you start by contacting Help to Claim: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/claiming/helptoclaim/

You asked about child benefit - you should be claiming that already, it's paid by the government. Child maintenance is completely different, it's paid by the non-resident parent to the resident parent. He is legally obligated to pay you child maintenance although in practice if self-employed it will be difficult to enforce if he refuses to pay it.
See https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/children-and-young-people/child-maintenance1/choosing-how-to-arrange-child-maintenance/check-what-child-maintenance-arrangement-is-right-for-you/

Your ex needs to pay CMS.
You can probably get IC, but I'm on old style sickness benefit. If you've no disabilities etc then I'm not so knowledgeable. But put in a claim for UC, sooner the better. The calculator may not be exactly accurate but it shows you'll get something at least.

The OP is probably entitled to benefits because of where she lives, London. She can claim benefits and child support. CMS isn’t included in means testing.

As others have said OP, your share of the equity in your rented place will be counted as if it were cash in the bank, so will the rental income. Did you include that when doing the benefit calculator?

If you drop your hours your amount of benefit might change too, so do the calculator for your hypothetical situation if you did cut hours. It's possible some of your entitlement to benefit was the childcare costs part, so if you no longer pay childcare then you'll get less benefit income.

Don't forget to claim single adult occupation for council tax discount on your new place once you've moved. And council tax reduction too if you're entitled to that. This is separate from UC.

You should be claiming child benefit already. If your ex earns too much for you as a couple to claim CB, and the authorities are still considering you to be a couple while you live together, you can still claim CB and they'll take it back from him.

Child maintenance is separate, you'll need to put in a claim for that too. Your ex doesn't have to pay any voluntary costs to you (only those costs incurred by him feeding/clothing/housing/toiletries /medicines/hobbies and childcare for DC whilst he has them). It's not his decision whether he pays CM though or how much he pays (unless he volunteered to pay extra above what the law says). But lots of men wiggle out of it and make it effectively impossible for their ex to claim it, so don't rely on it when planning your new life. If his circumstances genuinely change the amount of CM you are entitled to could go down too, like if he gets a lower paying job or has other DC.

Total longshot but with the CoL/housing crisis, if it's a 2bed property and your tenants are a couple and can't afford to stay/move elsewhere in the future, you could ask if they want to house share with you (you and DD share a bedroom), to keep the costs down for everyone.

I realize you probably don't want to do this but thought I'd throw out the option in case you hadn't considered it. It wouldn't be a typical house share because you're the owner, they'd be your lodgers which means they'd have less rights than as tenants (basically you could get rid of lodgers whenever you like and they don't have equal say in things, you call the shots and hold all the power, unlike when a bunch of friends house share and all have equal rights in the tenancy).

Thanks - he earns less than me, but I don't know for sure. Really helpful to understand that the flat we're renting out will be seen as income. The timing of everything is terrible, as we've only just rented the flat out in the last month to tenants for a two year contract, and moved out ourselves at the same time. Really sadly the relationship has just broken down and he doesn't want to try and work through it this time.

That's an interesting point about changing the ownership terms, I hadn't thought about that. I assume he'd want to take his equity though, and not pay off the money he would receive into the mortgage pot so I think I'd still be paying for the same amount of mortgage and more rent in that circumstance? Will explore that as an option though as he might be amenable to it.

Child benefit - yes we are claiming that. Child maintenance, will start looking into putting in a claim of some sort for that.

Thanks for your reply - that's been really helpful.

Thanks so much - this is really useful stuff.

Good idea about proposing a flat share with tenants, however they're two single guys (in their twenties) and doubt they'd want to share it with a 30+ single mum and toddler, but I appreciate the thinking behind it :)

Good point re: single council tax, and the other parts. Thanks v much!

@MCE1 Does your shared ownership agreement/mortgage agreement allow you to rent out to tenants?