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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Milionare father pays no child maintenance for his children

30 replies

ARCHIE114 · 02/10/2024 08:27

Subject: Millionaire father pays no child maintenance to his children

After one year of struggling with my ex through the CMS appeal system, I am at the point when I am about to give up, I wonder if anyone else has any alternative avenues to suggest or organisation that may help to move from the deadlock.

Or if any of who have decided to Appeal to the Independent Tribunal and what is their experience.

In brief. After a very acrimonious separation I decided to settle in Court for a lot less than what the judge had suggested to put an end to the money draining and for the children sake and also as my ex was determined to spend all in lawyers (he probably had an insurance rather doing what the judge asked him to, despite being told in Court that if the proceedings would reach the last stage it would have been a hearing concentrating on his non disclosure ).

My barrister suggested to defer to the CMS the decision on CM, which she guaranteed would be 1,200 pounds per month according to his income tax return. Little I knew.

Shortly after, my ex volunteered to be made redundant and despite living in Knightsbridge and literally being a millionaire with accounts in Switzerland the US and Brasil I received a letter saying he did not have to give me ANYTHING, as he declared a gross weekly income of less than 7 pounds !

I learned about the variation and loaded info on his accounts abroad, as well as his lifestyle, stellar service charges, private school fees and huge monthly spending. When I say huge I mean up to 6k per month in online porn and god knows how much in escorts, plus fine dining, clothing etc. Hi spending just on himself was over 10k monthly before separation.

After he left his job, a year ago, I found on my 13 years old daughter's phone text messages (leaked from the family iCloud apparently) of him texting a pimp in prime west London escort agencies for services going from 600 to 2,000 per hour.... :(

He can do what he wants with his life I do not care, but A) he does not behave in such a reckless way so that his daughter can see it and B) if he earns less than 7 pounds and has no money for CM he should not have money to pay this ... right ?

I sent all of this to the CMS as part of the appeal variation and after messing me about for over a year - by backtracking their decision and then give the same reply, I was told my appeal was rejected for lack of evidence. Full stop.

I had to file a right of access request and ask my MP to follow up on it as they did not even acknowledged it.

When I finally got all info held in my name lots of it was redacted like a spy document ! What could be seen in the decision was yes the PP (paying parents has assets but the evidence provided is not admissible as protected by GDPR legislation, ( I found out by asking around this meant that as it was disclosed in civil proceedings during the separation hearings, hence for not for "public" viewing) !

And given that it was from a year ago it is clear that my ex assets, maybe in flux and he may have considerably less ! ) I also received a very threatening call from a CMS advisor, who tried too dissuade me to continue with my Appeal to the Independent Tribunal saying it is a long draining process and there is absolutely no guarantee the Courts will decide differently, when I said I intended to pursue it anyway, she told me her intention was to propose to send all my documents to the internal CMS Financial Investigation Unit, however that there was no guarantee they would even take the case up and that by doing this I would miss my opportunity to continue with the Independent Tribunal Avenue.

I asked to think about it and ask for advice she said no, so I said ok. I went back to the MP describing how threatened I felt and the case worker said it is not in their remit nor expertise to advise any further :((((((

I am not working and not making money, as despite trying, I am in my late 50s and left my employment years ago to look after the children. I am trying to work as a sole trader and applied for jobs but this is stressful and came to lots of refusal... so far.

I am now dreading going into another winter and massive gas bills, I have some savings supposed to be for my retirement but you know how quick these go in London.

Everyone is talking about the loopholes but NO ONE is helping - hiring a lawyer would mean I would pay more in legal fees than what will get as maintenance IF I was successful. I will call Ginger Bread again today, but they only seem to be collecting datas but provide no help on individual cases - I tried rights of women - advocates nothing...

I am so tired ...should I just give up and concentrate fully on rebuilding my life ? It feels such an injustice and this is something which should also be in the interest of the general public, my son is turning 18 this week and will soon be off to uni. my daughter is still 13...

I would appreciate any help or ideas anyone is able to share. Thanks

thread title tweaked by MNHQ

OP posts:
ARCHIE114 · 03/10/2024 13:26

Good questions ! He was born in Brasil but from British father - He absolutely can access cash and he does spend it ! You are right he wants me to struggle, but why, I am not sure.

He took a unilateral decision to end our marriage without even discussing it with me he abducted the children to tell them the way he wanted. This after we had agreed 6 years before to stay together as a family for the children not as a couple.

He is damaging the children through his behaviour although yes he is trying to hurt me.

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 03/10/2024 16:37

I wouldn't let it drop- personally I would threaten to play dirty and get it out there - but depends on what you actually received ( even if it's less than what you expected) . If it's fairxwhack people will have less sympathy- that's just how people are. Did you go ahead and buy a place in London? If you did and are really struggling I'm afraid I would cash in and rent and allocate a bit for a specialist lawyer who deals on these situations of hidden assets.

I suspect his family are embarrassed and know the score as he sounds like a bit of a shallow playboy . You would think they wouldn't want to see grandchildren suffer - people often turn their back on situations like this because of the old 'blood is thicker than water'

ARCHIE114 · 03/10/2024 20:48

The thing is even family lawyers don't know anything about how the CMS worked I am in this mess because one of of them not knowing that it is dead easy not to pay anything if you leave it up to the CMS to decide.

He is not a playboy he is a very insicure man who has to pay to find women he is a passive aggressive so he is good at playing the victim's part and if I expose his behaviour my worry is that he is after all the father of my children and I do not want to hurt them - they have gone through too much.

Also the maintenance is so little than paying for a lawyer would mean I would spend more than what I will be getting if I succeed.

Representing myself is the only solution but I was hoping out there there is an NGO or someone that would see the need to change how the CMS operates

OP posts:
Mamaghanouch · 19/01/2025 20:51

ARCHIE114 · 03/10/2024 20:48

The thing is even family lawyers don't know anything about how the CMS worked I am in this mess because one of of them not knowing that it is dead easy not to pay anything if you leave it up to the CMS to decide.

He is not a playboy he is a very insicure man who has to pay to find women he is a passive aggressive so he is good at playing the victim's part and if I expose his behaviour my worry is that he is after all the father of my children and I do not want to hurt them - they have gone through too much.

Also the maintenance is so little than paying for a lawyer would mean I would spend more than what I will be getting if I succeed.

Representing myself is the only solution but I was hoping out there there is an NGO or someone that would see the need to change how the CMS operates

Hi,
I wanted to check where you are with all this. I recently made a cms appeal ex similar in that he has wealth and bits the kids toys and expensive days out but clever with disguising income to avoid paying cm there's a history of DV and economic control in both our marriage and post-marriage. Any advice or experience is appreciated OK. Curious where you're at.

ARCHIE114 · 21/01/2025 15:32

Hi,
I wanted to check where you are with all this. I recently made a cms appeal ex similar in that he has wealth and bits the kids toys and expensive days out but clever with disguising income to avoid paying cm there's a history of DV and economic control in both our marriage and post-marriage. Any advice or experience is appreciated OK. Curious where you're at.

Hi Mamaganouch, I am so sorry you are in a similar situation I am sending you a big hug. Believe it or not he still has not paid. Since I wrote I was contacted by the Financial Investigator of the CMS who reviewed the case with me, commented it was appalling confirmed he would take the case up and a week later he called back and with not clear explanation he said I was better off continue with the Appeal to the Independent Tribunal as he was told so by his superiors. He sounded mortally embarrassed... I spiralled into deep depression, but one day I was told by the Independent Tribunal that the CMS got back to them saying they reviewed the case and found out he had to pay me. I arrived home one day in December to find a letter from the CMS saying they made a mistake reviewing his assets still no mention to oversea assets but they said he had to pay me 2,500 pounds which included arrears until September 25. I was so happy, I asked my ex if he could pay before given that the money was due a year ago and as usual he ignored me. He then started to bully me into changing the children's arrangement to have the children half time obviously to pay less. He actually rammed this through me over the holidays and kept the children without letting me speak to them both xmas and new year. He did not pay on the third, I got so upset I sent all documents to his family and some friends so he finally responded saying he remained committed (!) to pay only to find out he has lied to the CMS about the day he has the children and questioned the amount calculated. Hence today 20 of January he still has not paid ! It is unliveable people like him are always given the benefit of the doubt from the CMS. I called them and said given he raised some questions they need to investigate again. I am now wondering if I should go straight back to the Independent tribunal. without waiting for them as I feel their policies are not water tight and there are too many loopholes that can be exploited. One good advise I was given is to ask the Judge who had issued the decree absolute to allow to disclose Form E to the CMS, but without paying for a barrister this is proving to be challenging... Feel free to PM if you want to ask some follow up questions. sending you lots of love

OP posts:
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