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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Milionare father pays no child maintenance for his children

30 replies

ARCHIE114 · 02/10/2024 08:27

Subject: Millionaire father pays no child maintenance to his children

After one year of struggling with my ex through the CMS appeal system, I am at the point when I am about to give up, I wonder if anyone else has any alternative avenues to suggest or organisation that may help to move from the deadlock.

Or if any of who have decided to Appeal to the Independent Tribunal and what is their experience.

In brief. After a very acrimonious separation I decided to settle in Court for a lot less than what the judge had suggested to put an end to the money draining and for the children sake and also as my ex was determined to spend all in lawyers (he probably had an insurance rather doing what the judge asked him to, despite being told in Court that if the proceedings would reach the last stage it would have been a hearing concentrating on his non disclosure ).

My barrister suggested to defer to the CMS the decision on CM, which she guaranteed would be 1,200 pounds per month according to his income tax return. Little I knew.

Shortly after, my ex volunteered to be made redundant and despite living in Knightsbridge and literally being a millionaire with accounts in Switzerland the US and Brasil I received a letter saying he did not have to give me ANYTHING, as he declared a gross weekly income of less than 7 pounds !

I learned about the variation and loaded info on his accounts abroad, as well as his lifestyle, stellar service charges, private school fees and huge monthly spending. When I say huge I mean up to 6k per month in online porn and god knows how much in escorts, plus fine dining, clothing etc. Hi spending just on himself was over 10k monthly before separation.

After he left his job, a year ago, I found on my 13 years old daughter's phone text messages (leaked from the family iCloud apparently) of him texting a pimp in prime west London escort agencies for services going from 600 to 2,000 per hour.... :(

He can do what he wants with his life I do not care, but A) he does not behave in such a reckless way so that his daughter can see it and B) if he earns less than 7 pounds and has no money for CM he should not have money to pay this ... right ?

I sent all of this to the CMS as part of the appeal variation and after messing me about for over a year - by backtracking their decision and then give the same reply, I was told my appeal was rejected for lack of evidence. Full stop.

I had to file a right of access request and ask my MP to follow up on it as they did not even acknowledged it.

When I finally got all info held in my name lots of it was redacted like a spy document ! What could be seen in the decision was yes the PP (paying parents has assets but the evidence provided is not admissible as protected by GDPR legislation, ( I found out by asking around this meant that as it was disclosed in civil proceedings during the separation hearings, hence for not for "public" viewing) !

And given that it was from a year ago it is clear that my ex assets, maybe in flux and he may have considerably less ! ) I also received a very threatening call from a CMS advisor, who tried too dissuade me to continue with my Appeal to the Independent Tribunal saying it is a long draining process and there is absolutely no guarantee the Courts will decide differently, when I said I intended to pursue it anyway, she told me her intention was to propose to send all my documents to the internal CMS Financial Investigation Unit, however that there was no guarantee they would even take the case up and that by doing this I would miss my opportunity to continue with the Independent Tribunal Avenue.

I asked to think about it and ask for advice she said no, so I said ok. I went back to the MP describing how threatened I felt and the case worker said it is not in their remit nor expertise to advise any further :((((((

I am not working and not making money, as despite trying, I am in my late 50s and left my employment years ago to look after the children. I am trying to work as a sole trader and applied for jobs but this is stressful and came to lots of refusal... so far.

I am now dreading going into another winter and massive gas bills, I have some savings supposed to be for my retirement but you know how quick these go in London.

Everyone is talking about the loopholes but NO ONE is helping - hiring a lawyer would mean I would pay more in legal fees than what will get as maintenance IF I was successful. I will call Ginger Bread again today, but they only seem to be collecting datas but provide no help on individual cases - I tried rights of women - advocates nothing...

I am so tired ...should I just give up and concentrate fully on rebuilding my life ? It feels such an injustice and this is something which should also be in the interest of the general public, my son is turning 18 this week and will soon be off to uni. my daughter is still 13...

I would appreciate any help or ideas anyone is able to share. Thanks

thread title tweaked by MNHQ

OP posts:
nootcoffee · 02/10/2024 08:31

In brief

could you make it even briefer??

Edingril · 02/10/2024 08:32

Say what now?

fasaglo · 02/10/2024 08:38

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Meadowfinch · 02/10/2024 08:40

To be honest OP, your best bet is to get a part time job and claim UC.

Going after a man who has unlimited legal resources at his disposal, has resigned rather than pay for his children and keeps his assets abroad, is probably going to cause you more stress than it solves. The CMS just aren't that competent.

I know it sucks but that's the truth.

Completelyjo · 02/10/2024 08:45

Child maintenance is such a small portion of income, why would anyone quit rather than pay it?

ThatAgileGoldMoose · 02/10/2024 08:53

Completelyjo · 02/10/2024 08:45

Child maintenance is such a small portion of income, why would anyone quit rather than pay it?

To spite his ex, presumably. Because he can, presumably. And he can probably continue to work on the same role and be paid via some back avenue that evidently cannot be evidenced.

I'm so sorry OP. This absolutely sucks.

I note that this is an absolutely prime story for a newspaper to want to pick up and run. You can almost certainly sell the story if you want to, but they can and do also scrape stories from mumsnet, so do just be aware of that. It wouldn't have any legal standing but it wouldn't look good for them if you were to add a post saying that you do NOT give consent for news outlets/media to run this story without your permission.

oopsupsideyourheadisayoopsupsideypurhead · 02/10/2024 08:57

Can you get court ordered maintenance?

LemonTT · 02/10/2024 09:51

I get you are frustrated but your allegations against the CMS employee are misplaced. Keep you anger for your ex and the MPs who have the power to change the system.

Based on your post they explained that there are consequences and risks associated with actions you wanted to take. That isn’t a threat. It is giving you information about what may happen if you do something. This is something you need to know. It is not a threat to say that if you want something investigated as fraud then it will hamper progress in the tribunal process. This is information you need to know. And no they are not there to advise you. Thats what you pay lawyers to do.

He doesn’t have a salary so the basing the CMS claim will result in a zero assessment. However you can ask for a calculation based on assets. You need to establish that those assets exist within the rules of the tribunal.

Again based on your post, there doesn’t appear to be a fraud here. Just a man living off capital with zero income. IMO you are better off going to the tribunal with evidence (lawfully obtained) of his wealth.

You also mention school fees being paid by your ex. Without a court order he doesn’t need to do this and CMS won’t address this in their assessment. You might end up with a CMS income and him refusing to pay school fees. This would be addressed through court action.

IMO, non expert, if you are successful in a CMS case he will refuse to pay school fees. Then you will need to go to court and get those awarded.

millymollymoomoo · 02/10/2024 11:26

Agree with others

its bad re the lack of child maintenance but throwing these accusations is not the way forward.

you also can get a job

what assets did you receive?

stanleypops66 · 02/10/2024 11:30

Could you not have sought spousal maintaincs during the divorce given his vast assets?

Ourdearoldqueen · 02/10/2024 11:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Yeah cos that will work…

FFS.

Ourdearoldqueen · 02/10/2024 11:39

Evidence admissible at Tribunal is different to the evidence the CMS use. Press on with tribunal and self represent. You can also do the fraud investigation in parallel.

LemonTT · 02/10/2024 15:17

Ourdearoldqueen · 02/10/2024 11:39

Evidence admissible at Tribunal is different to the evidence the CMS use. Press on with tribunal and self represent. You can also do the fraud investigation in parallel.

A fraud investigation is a criminal investigation. If a case is opened it will mean the tribunal will be delayed. A tribunal would never consider any matter under criminal investigation until that had been resolved one way or another.

ARCHIE114 · 03/10/2024 10:45

Thanks to the supportive messages. I will respond but in the meantime

I do NOT give consent for news outlets/media to run this story without my permission.

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 03/10/2024 10:50

All I can say is what an absolute prick !! Does he have family? I would be dropping g them a line just to lay it out and say you will indeed be forced into selling your story for a good sum of money if he doesn't sort it out

ARCHIE114 · 03/10/2024 11:10

Lemon TT thanks, I wish I had recorded the call with the adviser. I actually asked for permission but did not do it.

Firstly it is not true she was giving me any options, based on no written policies you cannot expect people to decide on the spot without being advised by someone else as you are right when you say the CMS does not advise you .

I actually learnt after writing this message through a chat with ginger bread that the two systems (FIU and Independent Tribunal ) can or at least have run in parallel and one is not - has not been mutually exclusive.

This is what bothers me more of the CMS, the rules are not there, therefore "policies" are bent depending on the advisor you talk to, most of them do not know the rules themselves if I am honest.

Their policies are opaque to say the least. Took me a month to understand on what basis CSM denied CM based on lack of evidence. Had to file a right of access request that I finally received only because my MP pushed for it and it was half deleted for no justifiable reason (outside the scope of the request ? I asked, as I have a right to, to see all info held on my name, however what my ex said is classified .... )

It was clear she wanted to dissuade me to continue down with the Appeal Route and offered me a route I bet she knows is not viable, so that the other door closes on me too. She was absolutely threatening and treating me like someone asking for the moon. The absurdity of the base for their decision, the PP has assets but they maybe in flux as the date of the information provided is from last year ! I started the CMS process the day after we settled in Court.... June 2023.

In relation to paying for school fees - a) we do have a Court order to establish a School fund until my youngest finish school, however my ex still managed to push my oldest one out of independent learning. b) I would argue it is better to have a warm house and food on the table rather than going to private school don't you think ?

OP posts:
teatimelover · 03/10/2024 11:12

What a horrible man. I feel sorry for your kids.

Are your kids in private school and who pays this? has he completely checked out of all financial ties with his kids or is this some narcissistic score that he's trying to win by doing all this but at the same time contributing to their school fees etc?

Crikeyalmighty · 03/10/2024 11:14

@ARCHIE114 I totally agree. He is a disgrace!

ARCHIE114 · 03/10/2024 11:18

millymollymoomoo · Yesterday 11:26

Agree with others -

what do you mean ? I do not see mutual agreement here.

its bad re the lack of child maintenance but throwing these accusations is not the way forward.

What accusations ? I have stated the facts

you also can get a job

I am trying .

what assets did you receive?

I have got the family house which was half mine anyway as I paid half, but I cannot sell it yet, as the transfer has not come through yet. Mind you I am not asking anything for myself -

stanleypops66 · Yesterday 11:30

Could you not have sought spousal maintaincs during the divorce given his vast assets?

My solicitor did the judge in Court suggested we share but he did not want to so I settled for a lot less the judge ordered for mine and the children sake and b) as the legal fees were ridiculous. And in the end of the day wether my money or his, I always saw it as the children future ...

OP posts:
ARCHIE114 · 03/10/2024 11:28

LemonTT · Yesterday 15:17

Ourdearoldqueen · Yesterday 11:39
Evidence admissible at Tribunal is different to the evidence the CMS use. Press on with tribunal and self represent. You can also do the fraud investigation in parallel.

A fraud investigation is a criminal investigation. If a case is opened it will mean the tribunal will be delayed. A tribunal would never consider any matter under criminal investigation until that had been resolved one way or another.

Lemon TT the Financial Investigation Unit is now a fraud nor a criminal investigation it is just a new unit within the CMS that in theory has a bit more power to investigate but then again not clear. In the worst case scenario the PP if found he was declaring a less 7 pounds per week income but not true he could be fine up to 1,000 pounds ! So no deterrent there I am sure his lawyer explained clearly how easy was to dodge the CMS and he had nothing to loose.

I think the worst "fine" is having passport revoked but has only been done a handful of times.

OP posts:
ARCHIE114 · 03/10/2024 11:32

Crikeyalmighty · Today 10:50

All I can say is what an absolute prick !! Does he have family? I would be dropping g them a line just to lay it out and say you will indeed be forced into selling your story for a good sum of money if he doesn't sort it out

I have been on the brink of doing it a number of time - all highly educated liberal people but everyone has been dissuading me. I would never say if he does not pay I will sell this to a newspaper or call the tax people but for them to know the kind of man he is. This is the issue that bothers me most - lots of our friends know the situation but nobody felt compelled to raise it with him - people just pretend not to see...

OP posts:
ARCHIE114 · 03/10/2024 11:37

teatimelover · Today 11:12

What a horrible man. I feel sorry for your kids.
Are your kids in private school and who pays this? has he completely checked out of all financial ties with his kids or is this some narcissistic score that he's trying to win by doing all this but at the same time contributing to their school fees etc?

Thanks teatime - I hate that my children have to experience this situation. No he did not check out completely. He still pays for my daughter private school, but he pushed my son out for A levels. My children can have what they want when they are with him, which is also a way to win them over. Fortunately so far my children are falling for it, but for example he gives them his cards so they can buy what they want, as he also does not check. I found my eldest buying Cigarettes or else . This really makes me so fearful and powerless :((((

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 03/10/2024 12:41

@ARCHIE114 out of interest - is there a cultural aspect here- shame on family and all that?
I'm incensed for you !!

ARCHIE114 · 03/10/2024 12:56

Crikeyalmighty
Thanks means so much to me to have a word of support ! Not sure I understand the cultural aspect shame on family question ? Both our family were in very good terms but now mine is lets slightly disappointed by his behaviour.

I did find out after the separation that at the same time when he was inheriting yet another fortune for an aunt in Brasil he was also asking my father behind my back for money to pay for the children school fees, my mother already had dementia at the time. my family gave him 100,000 pounds on top of it all. So when the Courts documents have shown clearly how he was spending them lets say he felt betrayed as he really treated him like a son for 20 years....

Hi family on the other hand are closing a blind eye on this.

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 03/10/2024 13:04

@ARCHIE114 - being upfront then- is he Brazilian?? Why do you think he's doing this- is it because he genuinely can't access cash? , or spite to you ( was it you who ended relationship) I can't get my head around why a guy who has such a lot wants you to struggle

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