Legal aid for emotional abuse - coercive control, financial, harassment

[Emsy999]

Hello everyone,

I wondered if anyone had any advice please? Has anyone managed to get legal aid on the grounds of non physical abuse please?

My life has been made hell for the last 14 months since I've moved out of the family home by my ex partner. He's used coercive control to control mine and the children's lives, emotional abuse where he's blackmailed and defamed me and is now using financial coersion to get me to accept his unfair out of court offer.

I can't afford to pay solicitors any more and I don't know where to turn.

I went to see my doctor months ago for severe headaches which are brought on by stress. He obviously asked me what was going on in my life and I told him. Told him how I'm not sleeping at night, how I can't think of anything else and how extremely low I was feeling. I told him a bit of background and he suggested I speak to Refuge or Women's Aid because he believed that I was suffering from various aspects of non-physical abuse (emotional, financial, coercive control). I've spoken to so many domestic abuse organisations as well as the police who have all said that it's domestic abuse. The police wouldn't do anything because there is no threat of physical harm from him so all everyone has given me is advice. I just don't what you do. I need help because I know 100% he doesn't have the children's best interests at heart but he is able to afford a barrister and be represented and based on what happened in court last month I'm genuinely scared for the next hearing.

I've requested a letter from my doctor to support my claim for legal aid but I've got a reply this morning from a completely different doctor saying that they haven't ever seen me and that they've looked at my notes and there is no documentation of abuse or injuries for them to compete the form. So I'm literally back to square one.

I think all conversations with Refuge or Women's Aid are confidential so I don't think I can gain evidence from those either.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

I've spoken to my local IDVA and they said they couldn't provide me with any other support other than to report incidents to the police and contact citizens advice for legal support.

I've reported previous incidents to the police and even though they've said it's coercive control and abuse they can't do anything if there's no threat of harm. I'm assuming the mean physical harm because this latest stunt with refusing to pay the mortgage is absolutely killing me mentally. I'm not sleeping at all and it's just neverending.

I've received my latest solicitor bill and it's another £800 which is going to have to go on the credit card (as well as the whole of his mortgage) which will mean more interest and higher monthly outgoings for me going ahead. I literally have no way out and it's killing me that no one is taking this seriously.

Hi Ladies I know it’s a bit weird but to save some money I saw here that there are some very good AI legal sites that help with this kind of thing. (Preparing forms, etc) Definitely worth looking into.

This is an awful situation and I really do wish you well.
Is there any way (I know it's another battle) of getting the house sold - forcing it through the courts if necessary. Presumably it will be sold at some point. Or talk to someone at the mortgage company for advice.
Am really shocked at the lack of understanding about non physical abuse. It is obviously harder to prove but still not impossible.
Also, surely his behaviour would be covered by coersive control which is illegal!
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/

How difficult. Yes, don’t let up on trying to see that original doctor. Try to get an appointment in person even. You must be living under terrible stress.

Please would you link them?

Could you get records of the police reports you have made. Make sure the police are logging them not just ignoring them.

Thank you so much x

I was thinking of asking the courts to force the sale but I've heard it's expensive and takes ages and seeing as we have our final financial hearing in September the court may decide this then but of course this doesn't help me in the meantime with having to find the mortgage payments each month.

I've spoken to the lender and they haven't really been much help. They've put our account on hold for a month until I had an answer on if I could get legal aid but so far I've been unsuccessful so I'll need to pay it at the end of this month. I switched to an interest only option so I could at least try and pay that but he cancelled it and there's nothing they can do. I realise they have protocols and rules but I'm extreme cases like this you'd think they'd see this is blatant financial abuse and overwrite his actions.

I've read so many things that coercive control is illegal but no one is willing to help me. The police won't do anything because there's no threat of physical harm, it's awful.

This below is from Rights of Women.
You do not have to have been physically abused for the police to take coercive control seriously.

www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/criminal-law-information/coercive-control-and-the-law/

Coercive control is a criminal offence. If you experience this form of abuse you can report it to the police. The police may give your abuser a warning or they may arrest him for a criminal offence. If the police have enough evidence they will refer the matter to the Crown Prosecution Service (‘CPS’). The CPS can start criminal proceedings against your abuser. If he is found guilty of an offence he can be sentenced up to 5 years in prison or made to pay a fine or both.

The court may also make a restraining order to protect you. The court can make restraining orders even if your abuser admits that he is guilty, if he is convicted (found guilty) even if he is acquitted or not convicted of the crime. A restraining order is a court order which prohibits your abuser from doing certain things such as contacting you or attending your place of work or home address. Breaching (breaking) a restraining order is a criminal offence. For more information on the criminal justice process see our legal guides Reporting an offence to the police: A guide to criminal investigations and From charge to trial: A guide to criminal proceedings.

Coercive control can involve a range of criminal offences including assault, rape, threats to kill, burglary and criminal damage. Coercive control is a criminal offence even if you have not experienced any physical violence or damage to your property. You can report everything that has happened to the police and the police will identify which criminal offences may have been committed. If you have experienced a violent crime you may be entitled to criminal injuries compensation. For more details see A guide to criminal injuries compensation. You can also contact our legal advice line.

Evidence of coercive control
It is the job of the police to investigate any reports of coercive control and gather evidence. You may be able to help the police by providing copies of emails, text messages or voicemail recordings, photographs of injuries or damage to property. You may be able to evidence financial abuse by showing your bank statements or you may have kept a diary of your day to day experiences. You may be able to show that you have lost contact with friends and family members, left your employment or withdrawn from clubs and other activities. Your medical records may show that your abuser accompanies you to appointments. It is common for abusers to make or threaten to make false allegations about their victims to the police, social services and immigration authorities or to friends and family. These threats are part of the coercive control and you can also report these threats to the police.

You can report the coercive control to the police even if you don’t have any other evidence. Your statement is evidence in the case.

If you are helping the police to gather evidence it’s important that you discuss whether this is safe. Remember that it is the police’s job to investigate and gather evidence and they should not be expecting you to do something that the police should be doing, or anything that puts you in danger.

If you have concerns about the way the police have responded to your report then you can contact our legal advice line.

I went through my divorce not long after coercive control became illegal.
The whole process was terrible and felt so very let down by.
I had police reports, but they took my word that I was safe and that I didn't want them to speak to him (I was scared). I did have to present myself at the station the next day. I was SO scared of now ex knowing I'd spoken to the police.

I tried to get an ex parte non-molestation order but it was declined (or advised to go to a hearing or whatever) because the judge thought ex should have a chance to have his say. I withdrew because the thought of him knowing I'd tried to get a non-mol order and failed was too much for me. It was one of the darkest parts of the divorce.

I had evidence from my GP, a number of friends, the letter from mediation stating they advised against mediation because of domestic abuse.

I also had support and advice from Women's Aid and other agencies.
I had a police woman (on the switch board before I got put through to the person on my case) tell me "oh you know what men are like ha ha ha. My solicitor suggested I lock myself in my garden office so I felt safe.

I am ashamed to say there were more than a few times I wish he would just thump me one. They would have removed him then.

Hey OP - with legal aid you won’t be eligible if you have more than £6000 in savings.
women’s aid are good for advice but for practical help I had to go to the DV service provider for my local authority, which was refuge
they were able to refer me to a solicitor and confirm that I had suffered abuse
i was “lucky” cos my ex admitted assault and even with that - my solicitor whom I was paying for with legal aid, got me to agree to contact which I have now realised is excessive and I’m not happy about
I’m really sorry
all of that to say - yes the system is broken. Even if you get legal aid/proof of abuse your solicitor might still weirdly be more in favour of dad

when reporting to the police you have to be quite explicit that it is domestic abuse that you are reporting. I described being beaten up in pregnancy, years of isolation etc but was told it happened too long ago to prosecute
i reported it all again a year later to a different police force who referred it back as a domestic abuse case and the prosecution time on that is longer than for assault so they can “backdate” the investigation

im sorry it’s all really shit. When documenting emotional abuse you have to say how frequent it was and how much it affected you and the kids.

best of luck x

@CharlotteBog dont be ashamed. The system is broken. It’s not your fault. It’s totally understandable why you would think that as sometimes that’s the only way you get taken seriously. All the best x