65/35 split

[RedKT]

Advice needed please. Family home is sold and while looking to buy, it’s apparent I cannot afford to rehome myself and 2 teenagers in a house in a safe distance from their school. I have asked my ex to agree to a 60/40 air on the equity to help us. He has flatly refused (and became aggressive about even the thought).
I am able to get a mortgage, he isn’t. The kids live with me full time and he sees them a few hours each week. He is adamant he wants to rent somewhere to have them more. He is sharing a house with his friend so kids have never stayed over night .
He owes me thousands from when we were married (I’ve accepted I won’t see that again). and will have to pay this back from the house sale.
I have a decent job with £35,000 salary. He claims he earns £25,000 but he is a tradesman and self employed so those numbers could be misleading. He has the ability to earn a lot more but hasn’t and I think it’s due to this reason.
What are my chances if I try to claim a 60/40 to buy a house closer to the kids school so they can travel independently and safely? I don’t want to waste what little money there is in fees.

Not great to be honest. You earn more than he does and he can't get a mortgage whilst you can. Depending on the ages of the children you might get a Mesher Order on your new property to pay him the rest of his half later.

What’s a mesher order?

so me being able to get a mortgage goes against me ? I will use all equity as a deposit for a house for the kids and I, whereas he is free to use his equity to waste if he wanted to?
im so confused about it all.

Deferral of sale of a family home. It doesn't have to be on the one you lived in. So say you split 65/35 now. You would still owe him his 15% but it would be represented as a share of equity in your new home (with downsizing, say 20-25% of the new property) which you repay him when youngest is 18.

I see thank you. At least that’s another option. My mental health needs a clean from him but beggars can’t be choosers I suppose

Well, if you can own a house, then he should be able to as well. Your ability to get a mortgage means you have less need of the equity than him to do that but your incomes mean only one of you is likely to own in the short term. So for the children in the short term one might own but there would have to come a day when things are evened out.

It certainly isn't a strong argument to say you take more of the equity forever because you can buy now and he cannot. No court would consider that fair.

His needs are greater
if anything he’s likely to end up with a split in his favour
his housing needs are the same as yours - somewhere to accommodate him
snd children near school to allow him equal access - and his mortgage ability ( at least on paper ) is less

And what about the kids living with me 100% but seeing him for a few hours twice per week? Does his word that he will see them more and have them over night (which I very much doubt) mean he is entitled to half also?

I feel like I’m the only parent, I’m working harder physically and emotionally while he is sitting back not doing a fat lot.

Also he can’t get a mortgage at the moment because he got himself into debt over the past 3 years since we split. His outgoing are a fraction of mine, yet he still he has to borrow. His earning potential is much higher than mine but he’s lazy.
Im guessing this won’t matter either

Are there other assets beyond the house, pensions etc.
If he has more earning capacity he will be expected to work more to achieve that.

What are you defining as a safe distance from school for the kids? Lot of secondary school kids have to get buses to school, and some will be travelling up to 10miles on buses, or some kids get the train to school

He’s not having them as he dies t have anywhere suitable

on The basis he’s arguing he does wa them say 2 nights a week. His housing needs are the same, ie somewhere for him and the children

on lower salary and less ability to mortgage he has a strong case for higher share

but it will depend on many factors, other assets, how much equity there is etc and courts would look at both your needs.

what debts have been built up ?

I'm not sure the advice being given here is very good. Neither the OP or the ex earn very much and the children will need a home with mum and possibly somewhere to stay with dad. It's not very clear if he cannot or will not spend time with the children, which will be material to this case.

So is earning capacity. For the OP to prove the ex can earn more, it would probably be necessary to prove that he is not working full time hours so the court can impute a full time income to him. However, it might be hard to prove he could do more as a self employed person. Maybe the work just isn't there? It's a question that even a solicitor will struggle with because it will depend on what the judge makes of it.

I would recommend spending around £500 getting legal advice on a fixed fee (free services are crap) and then going to mediation.

I don't think you'll get 60% going on what you've told us. Could you offer him more of the pension to offset you having more of the equity?

That’s what I’m hoping to do. My short term needs are more important.
thank you

Thank you! It’s hard to see it from his point of view but I suppose I need to start trying

I understand that but they are used to a short bus journey to school so I’m not going to move 10 miles away - especially if I can help it.
If there is an option, obviously I want us stay living closer to their school to ensure their safety, my piece of mind and less of an upheaval for them as they’re familiar with the area.
They have been through quite a lot already so I’m trying to make this transition smooth for them. 🤷‍♀️

Not sure why you refer to keeping them safe so have to live close to school.

I understand why you want to remain close to minimise upheaval but the I must stay close to keep them
safe is odd

ultimately courts will look to an outcome where both you and you ex can house the children to allow you both to have them- that’s fair . If there is money to do that that is what will be awarded. If not then incomes and mortgage capacity will be considered - and yours potentially is higher so if you can take 45% and a higher mortgage and him 55 and a mortgage they could do that ( or many other scenarios)

but unlikely to award higher earner much higher share of assets allowing them to be housed and the other not

Odd? Ok.
thanks for your reply.

Yes odd
why does being close keep them safe?
you already say they take a bus

its an odd thing to comment

and of course, parents want to keep children safe. Doesn’t mean they have to live 39 seconds away from a school

I have a decent job with £35,000 salary

and you think you’d be able to get a mortgage?

were you married op?

It is frustrating but you'll probably have to look at living somewhere more affordable potentially even if it's abit more travel for the kids.
If he says he wants them a few nights a week then he will also need to have somewhere suitable for them so you both need a property either rental or mortgage.
You could go to mediation and try to resolve that way which is cheaper. Start from 50 50 and work from that basis and see if you can make that work or if you need something more short term then use pension or similar to offset.
It sucks sorry

.

I’ve got one in principle so yes?

Thank you. I think u’re right and I need to just get on with the cards I’m dealt with I suppose. X