65/35 split

[RedKT]

Advice needed please. Family home is sold and while looking to buy, it’s apparent I cannot afford to rehome myself and 2 teenagers in a house in a safe distance from their school. I have asked my ex to agree to a 60/40 air on the equity to help us. He has flatly refused (and became aggressive about even the thought).
I am able to get a mortgage, he isn’t. The kids live with me full time and he sees them a few hours each week. He is adamant he wants to rent somewhere to have them more. He is sharing a house with his friend so kids have never stayed over night .
He owes me thousands from when we were married (I’ve accepted I won’t see that again). and will have to pay this back from the house sale.
I have a decent job with £35,000 salary. He claims he earns £25,000 but he is a tradesman and self employed so those numbers could be misleading. He has the ability to earn a lot more but hasn’t and I think it’s due to this reason.
What are my chances if I try to claim a 60/40 to buy a house closer to the kids school so they can travel independently and safely? I don’t want to waste what little money there is in fees.

your deposit must be very very substantial

single income on £35k…. you’d be able to gets mortgage of…. £125k max?

were you married op?

Since op hasn't at any time mentioned what area of the country she lives in why do you assume she'd have trouble buying in her circumstances! Where I live she could buy a three bed semi for around £160k so with a mortgage if £125 she'd only need £35k equity for a deposit.

average house price in Uk is £282k

so a fairly reasonable “assumption”!

and given he can’t get a mortgage and only earns £7k less.. that would strongly indicate that the mortgage IP on £35k single income is much less than £125k

Help me with cao. This is a mess

He can’t get a mortgage becaus he’s got himself into a debt in the last 2 years and missed repayments. I’d rather not disclose exact numbers of what deposit I have and haven’t got

He probably wants the kids two days a week so he doesn't have to pay maintenance.

Has he looked into the benefits he is entitled to as he may be able to get housing benefit to rent somewhere appropriate for the children to stay with him in if he doesn't have that much money?

Not sure if the ins and outs but hopefully someone else can advise on that as he's self employed and I don't know how that works.

It could be that this actually works out better for him. You get to keep the house fir the time being, he gets another one with housing benefit. This saving his small income rather than spending it himself.

You can renegotiate things in due course once you see how it all goes? If he'd be up for going to say citizens advice to ask what he could get and then he knows whether that's an option.

In my experience OP I got a 65/35 split in my favour on the basis the children were with me full time - and I earn more than 3x my ex husband. Also no pension sharing - I kept all mine which is worth 10x his.
So it is possible. But my ex husband didn't really contest much - if he had taken it to court - which he couldn't have afforded anyway - likely the situation would have been vastly different

Have you been to see a solicitor? What do they say? If your ex has capacity to earn more but doesn’t, I doubt you would be penalised for that. Maybe give mediation a go. If your kids have exams coming up soon you may find a judge may be more in favour of a mesher. This is what happened to my partner - his ex managed to get a mesher agreed at court, partly because the judge didn’t feel disrupting the children at such an important time was a good idea. House sale delayed for 3 years. But if house sold already, may not be possible in your case now. Have the funds been distributed and sale gone through?