So after a good few years of being unhappy and 2 years since first bringing this up with DH, I told him again today I want us to separate. We've been sleeping apart for well over a year and basically living parallel lives in the same house. There's many reasons why we've got to this situation but ultimately I don't love him anymore and that's not going to change. We've been together 25+ years and have DS (14) and DD (11). He does however still love me and wants everything to stay as it was. (Hence why this situation has dragged on for years now). But I'm just so deeply unhappy, anxious and our house is sad. I'm trying to stay firm on a separation as previously I've back-tracked to avoid the fall-out and hurt but this is making me resentful and not a person I want to be. This really is best in the long run but he's making me feel so guilty with emotive language about how I've "given up", "will ruin the kids lives", etc.
Since the kids have been home from school DH has been all sad and quiet so they're confused and asking him what's wrong. He wants to tell the kids asap we're splitting up with the message that it's because I don't love him anymore and am kicking him out because 'he'll never lie to them". Obviously this is fucked up and I want us to put the kids interests first. I think we should front it out for a while until we have a clear plan and give a positive message about how we still love them and they will still see us both but we will live apart, etc. Otherwise they're going to ask questions we don't have answers for yet. How do I manage this as I think he's going to force this conversation at the weekend?