Selling house - Ex refusing to accept offer

[Nimbus1999]

We both agree we need to sell family home. Both signed the forms to appoint the real estate agent.

I pay the full mortgage and ex doesn’t contribute, he moved out 2 years ago but has only just provided a Form E.

We received a full asking price offer from a buyer in a very good position. I’m over the moon and am happy to accept the offer - the current mortgage is crippling me and the kids.

Deadly silence from the ex though - he has not confirmed one way or the other.

It’s been 5 days now and nothing. Worried about losing the buyer.

What can I do? Nothing I assume? We are joint owners.

It would be madness to turn the offer down - we’ve no other viewings arranged and it’s been very quiet since the initial flurry of interest.

Help!

You need to get your solicitor to apply to court for an order for sale, with a provision that the judge can sign the TR1 in your ex's place if he refuses.

What I think might complicate things is that you don't have a final financial order so the equity split of the house is up in the air. The court might therefore defer your application until the split is determined, so this can be built into the order. You could chance it by saying 50/50 which might get waved through but it sounds like 50% is probably less than you're entitled to if you're the RP and paying the mortgage.
Can you request a payment holiday from the mortgage provider? Is that an option?

But yes in answer to your question you might lose the offer in the meantime as you need time to sort the above. All I can suggest is that you are open and honest with your buyer. They might be willing to wait especially if they really want the house.

Another issue to consider is how all this will impact on the marketing of the property. If you cannot easily sell then offers are going to fall through and it will stay in the market for a long time. Buyers search that history these days. It raises red flags and they use it to their favour.

I think you need to consult a family law solicitor as well.

They often give a free ‘consultation’ so you can ask about this. They won’t necessarily give you advice on the free call, but it gives you a chance to see if you like the solicitor.

My advice - your husband has shown you he wants to be difficult. You will save yourself a lot of time, worry and heartache if you start using a solicitor. I know it’s expensive, but they can save you a lot in money and time.

I say this as someone who is just coming to the end of a divorce with a difficult husband who would not use a solicitor.

Please make sure you are getting as much free advice as you can, wikivorce is a good start.

Thanks everyone. I’ve agreed 3 hours of time with a local solicitor to review the financial disclosures and come up with a plan. I’ve agreed a 50/50 split of total assets but the only sticking point is I am trying to ask for a bit more equity (65/35) offset against his business and pension.

I know it’s a risk but I’m desperate, the mortgage on the family home is a killer and I need to make something happen…. It’s been dragging on for 2 years now.

I thought if we have actually sold, it might motivate a deal to be done. He wants his equity out of the family home.

The thing is you cannot act to sell the house and even if you progress that to use the capital. If you want to take this offer you may need to concede on a settlement that he prefers.

From what I recall he wants 50% of the equity. I doubt his business has any value as it is new and basically just him. So you are relying on him wanting to keep his pension or a court deciding for you. The later is months away.

If you sell and you dont have a signed financial agreement then the money will have to sit in a solicitors account until you do. I assume the mortgage could be paid off, though Im not sure on that. Something to ask your lawyer. Do you mind renting if this drags on? If you need the equity for a deposit it's a risky strategy and you might end up renting while the money sits there unable to be accessed. XH wants his money out of the family home, but we're waiting on mediation (not with lawyers) and he's refusing to try and find anyone else who can see us sooner. I said I'm not selling the house untill we have a signed agreement that's been approved by the court and is legally binding. Im not going to trade a secure roof over the kids heads for renting while that money waits in an account for us to agree.

@Nimbus1999 no advice but I do hope you get it sorted, DP ex stalled their house sale at every available point in not responding to stuff and even now she's agreed to buy him out she's stalling the TR1 and has missed 2 exchange dates putting his onward purchase in serious jeopardy. She's a controlling, manipulative piece of work, your ex sounds similar so I do hope you get it sorted at court next month and are able to sort this to allow you and your children to move on.

You can accept the offer - it just needs both of you to sign the sale contract to complete it. Will probably take over 2 months to get to that stage. So I'd accept now, by the time you need to sign, you will have been to court and there should be a proper agreement about equity split, so you have until then to sort things out.

Can you afford to buy him out? Once it's all in your name you can then sell. Might be an easier option?

You do need both of you to agree to the sale I'm afraid. If you don't and accept, then he then decides to put a spanner in the works it might fuck up a lot of people involved in the process.

It's so frustrating when people do this for no good reason other than being a dick.

Is the Estate Agent's fee due whether you accept or not? If they have introduced a proceedable buyer and it falls through because one party refuses to make a decision, it might well be. Perhaps it is worth the EA pointing that out to him, by email if he won't answer the phone.

He wants me to rent.

Is that a vindictive wish? What difference does it make to him if you rent or not?

Or did he say "I can't see why you don't rent"... when you said you needed 65% to continue as a home owner and to continue as a home owner you needed 65% of joint assets, and he didn't want to give you 65% so hence his opinion on renting being fine.

You can accept the offer, as at that stage its not a legal agreement, but without his signature you cannot exchange contracts or complete.

You would need to take court action to get an "order for sale" on average that can take around 12 months to go through, can be quicker, or indeed slower.

You need a solicitor on your end ASAP to do the communication of this to your ex.

If one wants to sell and the other person refuses to sell the house an action of division and sale needs to be raised to ask the court to force a sale. The other person can try to block it but would need a very good reason. Speak to your local Citizens Advice.

Give him a deadline and mean it. Tell him you will take his silence as consent and accept the offer. If he has any financial stake in the property point out he will get his money back if you sell.

If you are struggling I would change the mortgage to interest only. I wouldn’t be paying off the capital as he will most likely be entitled to 50% equity even though you are paying the mortgage. I would also seek legal advice regarding the sale of the property. He is being financially abusive.

I'd tell him that now you've got an offer, you're having second thoughts and actually you're thinking about ways to stay in the family home and how you can continue to afford the mortgage. So he can kiss his money goodbye until the kids are 18.

That should motivate him to accept the offer and get the ball rolling his side.

You need to keep all evidence of his being unreasonable as this will end up in court by the sound of it. You could compel him to sell and cover your court costs due to his behaviour. You need a decent solicitor. Say if you want a name

You just need to get lawyers involved.

its shitty and expensive, but it gets him out of your life correctly and fully. (Minus the kids, but he doesn’t sound like much help there)

i think he’s just messing with you.

As others have said, you can’t really sell without agreeing the equity split (well… you can’t use any of the equity) I think selling before this is agreed is problematic

I had this exact situation. I had to get my ex to sign a consent order to agree the sale.
You can also request a judge to grant an order to sell.
None of these are quick though :(
I find it unbelievable the lengths that some people would go to to be petty, especially when there are kids involved.

I also bought in pretty much these exact circumstances. It was a nightmare and very frustrating as we ended up sofa surfing as we'd had to guess what date to end our rental contract and it over-ran by 3 months of avoidant nonsense and finally a court order to do with obstruction.

However we wanted the house, and the EA was very clear with us what was happening and why (and advised us of the circumstances when we first offered) so we persevered and went through with the sale because we wanted the house, and starting again would have been slower.

It was a good market back then, and we were only the 3rd viewing the EA had actually managed to secure with the resident vendor in 10 months. The place was an absolute hole but we held out.

Maybe ask your EA to disclose a version of the circumstances to the buyers as there is an awful lot more he will also need to sign in a timely manner before you exchange...

He can be forced to sell.

Short-term can your Estate Agent tell the proposed Buyer that you are 'minded to accept' but that confirmation needs to come from the ex-husband. That is what happened here when we bought and it stopped us making an offer on anything else as well as warning us the process could be more awkward than it needed to be (and it was) it was worth it. We kept in good contact with one of the people selling and didn't allow the other to bully anyone else (us or ex-partner).

You can apply for a court order to force the sale.

Get the estate agent to work for their money and do all the chasing and powers of persuasion to get him to accept the offer. It’s in their interest too.