My New Partner Ex Wife wants my salary taking into consideration for her spousal……

[Workhardmum]

Hi Everyone.
i moved in with my partner few years ago. He pays spousal and CMS. He lost his job and started his own business which then resulted in his earnings going from £100,000 to £36,000 a year. He therefore asked for his spousal to be reduced from £500 to £300. First judge said I would not be taken into consideration and to go away and make a deal. They have not made a deal as she thinks she is entitled to what she deserves. Yet his salary has changed significantly. Alongside that she now works every day. Claims universal credits. ESA. Does not put her true earnings through the book. Takes cash. Earns under £7100, so her benefits total £1700 per months! As a full time mum it does make my blood boil as now she wants my salary taking into consideration towards her spousal. They went court whereby a financial person in the court room (not judge this time) said my salary could be used as a house hold total to make a decision for her spousal. We are not married. It is his house and I pay half the bills and all the food as he is Una le to afford to do this. I also have my own daughter who I support my self and receive CMS for. I have lots of my own bills alongside what I contribute. I have to work full time myself to make ends meet and do not aim any benefits. I am not sure how it is right for my salary to be taken into consideration for someone else’s ex wife !!! She demanded on a previous court papers for my financial disclose and what my CMS. I declined. First judge said I would not be taken into consideration. 2nd person finance person who tries to mediate and solve said I would. Contraction what we are receiving. Please help.

You say it was a clean break agreed during the divorce. Is the spousal court ordered?

That's the top and bottom of it really. If it wasn't then he can stop paying it. If it was he can apply for a variation (his income has dropped due to health reasons, he's not just sacked it off to get out of paying his ex). CMS is mandatory and usually separate from any spousal.

She can get the fuck if she's asking for your income details, but if you fail to provide it a court might make assumptions that you are subsidizing him.

But first, is the spousal court ordered?

You can work up to 16 hours if you get ESA on MW.
And you’ll still be entitled to UC.

Yes think that is what she does but we have seen some payments in personal accounts £1,000/la that are not declared so definitely works over that just don’t admit.

That’s what partner did, asked for variation as his health, salary decline and she is also working. 3 things she has fought every one re cost of living and so on. Yet has holidays at Disneyland and centre parks. Giestbjydge said no to me and basically your problem if you want to fly around the world. Handle your money better. Second person wasn’t a judge and told them to make a deal and they couldn’t as she would not agree! But said my salary could be taken into consideration. Wasn’t a judge though. She asked for my own CmS payment for my daughter to be taking into the household sum and my salary to be towards her spousal! X

Why on earth is anything other than child support being paid?

@SprigatitoYouAndIKnow thats why I was asking about ESA.

ESA is about LT illness so I was wondering if that was the reason why she was getting spousal maintenance.

She gets UC and ESA. The spousal was agreed when they divorced to get her into work. Which she has. Had clauses put in re if salary changes, work and so on. But she is fighting it. Yet still gets all the benefits. Due to not declaring income. I think if ESA knew she was a personal trainer the disability she says she has would be out the window as she copes pretty well!!

No court in the land would award her spousal maintenance when he’s only earning £36k.

Sorry op but you’re not answering the question

diea the consent order provide for spousal maintenance ( or global maintenance)? You need to be clear on that. In this she’s asking for x/y/z is not helpful to you

if she has consent order that provides for it ( and the terms will be outlined in that bidder) he can apply for a variation

if the consent order was a true clean break with no spousal he simply can stop

you don’t need to get into the why’s and where fores of spending/income/fraud ( separate matter/ etc, it simply comes down to those two points. Court ordered spousal ? Yes or no?

So further to your later message it seems that it wasn’t a clean break and there are provisions set out in the order for spousal.

in which case if that is the case he will need to apply for a variation. and she will be expected to have taken steps over the order eg if it says work full time within 1 year and she hasn’t that will be frowned upon ( or whatever things she isn’t complying with )

Has he applied to the court for a variation? If not, why?

Spousal support should be taken £ for £ from UC (Child maintenance makes no difference) so if she is not declaring that it is also fraud.

Does he pay it into a bank account with the reference spousal maintenance?

I bet if you weren't subbing him by paying half his bills, he'd not have left a £100K job to earn less than half of that. I've been self-employed for more years than I can renember, BUT I didn't leave my full-time well paid job until my own business was well established. As tiring as it was, I worked full-time and ran my own business alongside for a good few years. & my DCs were young then.

You're here complaining about his wife and you can't even see the mug's position that you're in. She's the least of your worries. Moving into a man's home as a girlfriend not a wife, is taking wearing steamed up love goggles to the enth. You should not have moved in, instead simply focus on yourself and your child and have your relationship but not live in his house. As it is, you're a lodger so maybe your income will be taken into account.

If you're reporting his wife for fraud, make sure you have all your facts right. & remember you'll be affecting their child too. Legal advice on all this is best rather than a post focused on his ex wife

He didn’t leave his job voluntarily , he had to leave after a heart attack!

This. This whole situation is sortable. He didn't get a clean break and he needs to go back and for them both to do full disclosure and for her fraud to be noted. It's ridiculous.

OP you're posting repeatedly about the same stuff. Stop focusing on what she gets, reporting her, what she spends money on and focus on the fact you need to move into a different house, stop subsidising him and he needs to take care of business himself, on his own income. On his own.

You're jabbering. Their business is their business. Detach yourself from it.

I bet if he hadn't had sepsis and a heart attack he wouldn't have left his job.

Well done you for working full time plus setting up a business. I bet you weren't suffering the after effects of sepsis and a heart attack though.

Maybe read the OPs posts properly before having a go at her 🙄

It is shocking to me that this is even a question. How on earth could you have any financial obligation to some random woman?

Of course he should pay for his children, and it sounds like he does. But I really don't understand why anyone gets spousal maintenance these days, and given the change in his personal circumstances, it seems utterly ridiculous that this is even under consideration. He should support himself. She should support herself. She is a grown adult and they are no longer married. It shouldn't be his problem and it certainly shouldn't be yours.

Honestly, reading this OP makes me feel that we should all be teaching our dc a) never to marry someone with lower earning potential and b) never to agree to any sort of set-up which enables their spouse to become a SAHP. It's absurd that she thinks she has any claim on his or your finances, beyond an equal contribution from him towards the costs of the children.

@Workhardmum I agree with PP that your DP needs to go back to Court to reassess the amount of spousal maintenance.

It sounds crazy that your income and CM would be taken into account. But you both need to be clear about the circumstances around the spousal maintenance (aka reason, length of time etc….)
eg if it was until she is back at work, was the exact agreement and does it mean there is now no need etc…
Maybe it was a life long agreement unless she starts living with someone etc….
I would get some legal advice too so you are prepared if she asks fir your income again.

The issue of benefit and whether there is fraud or not is a completely different matter. And one that will not be sorted in Court iyswim.
If you decide the best is to report her to DWP, then do so through those channels.

just to add - you would be INSAINE to join finances with this man in a house until this is all sorted!!