My New Partner Ex Wife wants my salary taking into consideration for her spousal……

[Workhardmum]

Hi Everyone.
i moved in with my partner few years ago. He pays spousal and CMS. He lost his job and started his own business which then resulted in his earnings going from £100,000 to £36,000 a year. He therefore asked for his spousal to be reduced from £500 to £300. First judge said I would not be taken into consideration and to go away and make a deal. They have not made a deal as she thinks she is entitled to what she deserves. Yet his salary has changed significantly. Alongside that she now works every day. Claims universal credits. ESA. Does not put her true earnings through the book. Takes cash. Earns under £7100, so her benefits total £1700 per months! As a full time mum it does make my blood boil as now she wants my salary taking into consideration towards her spousal. They went court whereby a financial person in the court room (not judge this time) said my salary could be used as a house hold total to make a decision for her spousal. We are not married. It is his house and I pay half the bills and all the food as he is Una le to afford to do this. I also have my own daughter who I support my self and receive CMS for. I have lots of my own bills alongside what I contribute. I have to work full time myself to make ends meet and do not aim any benefits. I am not sure how it is right for my salary to be taken into consideration for someone else’s ex wife !!! She demanded on a previous court papers for my financial disclose and what my CMS. I declined. First judge said I would not be taken into consideration. 2nd person finance person who tries to mediate and solve said I would. Contraction what we are receiving. Please help.

Im confused about sposal support, unless it was something in their prenup? Regarding cms though, he has a responsibility to work to provide for his dc. If he has to sleep on floors to give his dc a bed, then that's just parenting. I think they are coming after you as a way to get him. If he isn't prepared to provide without getting me dragged in, then he wouldn't be the man for me.
Your finances are nothing to do with her and her Disney trips and cash in hand work are nothing to do with you.

OP if you want someone to cohabit and share a mortgage with, he is not the man for you. He's not willing to fight her enough. He earns £36k through no fault of his own and shouldn't be paying spousal support at all. If he's not willing to fight for that and stick to it, then he's appeasing her at your expense. He even has form for appeasing her at his own expense. It's unlikely that's going to change now.

I'm not saying he should be a deadbeat dad, but if he did pay nothing more than CMS and having his DC EOW, his DC would be provided for just fine, same as all the other DC who exist in that situation in UK are. His ex would manage on the CMS and benefits just as other single mothers do.

It's fair enough for him to have the DC almost 50% of the time, to pay for whatever they need at his house and even to pay for some extras like school trips and sports clubs etc. But skinting himself out to basically pay everything while his ex pockets all the money she can from wherever she can, is unreasonable. It's weak, it's spineless and it's not compatible with being in a new cohabiting relationship. He might be divorced but he's not free, he's a puppet and his ex is the one pulling his strings. If that's how he chooses to live that's his choice, involving a new partner in it is the unreasonable bit.

I imagine the longer this ridiculous situation of excessive voluntary spousal support goes on for, the more it will be seen to set a precedent and the harder it'll be to extract himself from it.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

The question I would ask the OP is what prevents your new partner from seeking a similar to what he had before and earning similar money as before? I get the feeling he is trying to live off you and reduce what he pays to his ex wife at the same time.

In my divorce, potential earnings were taken into account for spousal maintenance as at the time I could earn per day what ex could earn per month working 16 hours per week on the minimum wage. It was paid for four years on the logic that ex could work more hours once the child was old enough to go to school themselves. That was in 2016. Maybe it is different now?

My ex was also cheating the benefits system, but my solicitor advised me to keep it quiet as the more money they had of their own, the less they could ask from myself.

@Longdueachange Im confused about sposal support, unless it was something in their prenup?

Spousal maintenance does not depend on a prenup. There are no calculation formulas as there is for child maintenance.

It can be a complicated subject and many factors will be taken into account on a case by case basis.

Presumably his significant health issues would prevent him from pursuing his prior career.

Move out and have him proceed from now with you out of the picture?

Is it his house that you are paying bills and rent for? In which case I can see how it can be taken into account as you are in effect giving him an income stream no different to if he were a lodger. If it were a joint property I woold
see of differently

I'd move out rather than disclose my income.

.

Although I'd argue that on £36k he shouldn't be paying spousal support at all. That's not a high salary for a person to live on.

He shouldn’t have had kids then!!!!!!!

Er… are you getting child maintenance and spousal support mixed up?

Legally your income is not taken into account for either spousal support or CMS. Even if your married it's not taken into account. So the ex can harp on about it all she likes but she has no legal claim to your money.

Paying spousal support when he earns £36k is quite frankly ridiculous. About time the woman learned to stand on her own two feet. Its not as if he chose to have a heart attack and get sepsis just to fuck her over. She sounds like a nightmare.

@FinkleFlint plenty of women have children and eat nowhere near 36k…. Are you saying they also shouldn’t have them

op is not disputing child maintenance
she’s disputing spousal maintenance ( quite rightly )

Earn not eat!

Honestly move out, let him sort the divorce then think about being together

You don't even have to move out, just tell her to fuck off.

My DHs ex has dragged me into a court battle over profits from a house my DH owned. She looked up the land registry and discovered that our house is solely in my name. She's asked for details of our financial arrangement and where the deposit came from. She was told it was none of her business. I've disclosed nothing and have no need to. Even our lawyer said she can fuck off and it's nothing to do with her.

So even if she demands information on your finances via lawyers letter it doesn't mean you have to disclose them. Lawyers will put anything in a letter if you pay them.

Exactly! He didn’t want to get ill and end up in this position but it was all from a sore throat that ended up sepsis.

they are divorced seven years ago and had a clean break. He also paid off all her debt and loans. Left her debt free. Did this re the kids. I am living in his house. I sold my house. I have read they can dig up house records. We are due to combine mortgages in May. Just wanted to make sure my money is safe basically and I don’t provide any E2 financial disclosure and she is HIS ex wife who basically is just a greedy freeloader.

she always denied re the benefits until the bank statements were visible via E2 form when all this was a court.

he tried to come to an agreement with her and say look it’s been 7 years since being divorce, I’ve paid you half the marriage in spousal and you are now back to work. She wants what she is entitled too. I am guessing as he left her, it is revenge and bitterness. She was awful. She got the house and was laughing yet her life never moved in where he rebuilt his and moved on. Long term recovery from sepsis takes time. He has a physical business (gas and heating engineer) and word is not always there. It is fighting competition. He did at the beginning try and get another well paid job but the area he worked there are far between. he does have his kids 43% of the time. Was over paying his CMS as well by £200 a month but it is never enough. As someone said this woman is just a benefit ponse and a leech.

there is another all day court appearance on this. Last time the finance mediator was shocked she was still fighting this. He just wants an end date to it. Just wants it dead and buried as she can do this every year and request bank statements so you can never live a normal life. If he earns more money and has more income in his bank, she will see it that’s her and demand more. It’s a terrible way to live. Another court case coming up on a separate manner re access. Parental alienation. This woman just don’t stop. There are plenty out there I can assure you.

I imagine the spousal maintenance is because she is unable to work (hence also her getting the ESA)

Is that right?

OP, he needs to seek legal advice on cancelling the maintenance. It doesn’t sound like he’ll be legally obliged to pay it,
especially if it wasn’t court mandated in the first place

This. Zero chance of me funding a random woman, which to you basically she is.

She gets universal and ESA yet works in a school daily’s takes cash in hand for personal training and says she only earns £7,100 which is the legal threshold to claiming all those benefits yet we can see her having payments made into her personal account and not disclosing. I would love to shop her for all the hard working single mums out there! She gets £35,000 or more tax free ! Drives me mad yet I know if I did that she would lose the house and kids wouldn’t have anywhere (except with their dad) and life would be worse than it is now. Just need her to leave me out of it !

I think you need to see a solicitor about protecting your share of any house you buy together.

100% shop her to DWP, there is massive focus on fraud at the minute, ive just seen another 84 positions being advertised for fraud investigators.

Why on earth is anything other than child support being paid? None of this makes any sense. How are the courts still involved and what would happen if he just stopped paying?

Separately, do not combine any finances with this man! None of this sounds like a good idea. If he keeps giving her money it becomes giving her your money too.

Does the court order provide for spousal maintenance? As in was it ordered as part of the consent order? You indicate it was a clean break in which case no spousal is due under the order and he could just stop with no legal recourse to her?

if it’s included you need to understand the terms and apply for official variation ( ie rather he does)