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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Should I give him a chance?

3 replies

NiquiD · 30/03/2024 21:51

I know it’s something that only I can can decide upon but I’m at my wits end.

six weeks ago I told my DH I didn’t love him, didn’t wish to be married to him and after lots of emotive discussion we both agreed he would stay at his mums for four weeks. This was for two reasons, one: I felt he needed the time to digest what I’d said (he claims he had no idea I felt this way) and two: to allow me the space to think and maybe miss him, which I did explain was doubtful.
fast forward to the end of the four week, we meet to discuss, I’m feeling resolute and he puts me into a tailspin by suggesting a fairly reasonable trial during which he ‘woos’ me, no pressure, gets the house up to scratch (something I had been nagging about for six years!) and basically does all the things I had been saying he doesn’t do.

i feel unreasonably angry at his suggestion. None of this was new information to him, I’d voiced my concerns and frustrations many many times but only under threat did he make effort to be different. I also felt like I had done the hardest thing ever by being honest about not loving him etc etc and was 100% set on splitting, only for him to send me backwards in that I now doubt that choice. I’m also scared because now both my DC know that I’m the instigator in this and they may hate me for not giving him a chance.

has anyone got any pearls of wisdom to help me decide?? 😔😔

OP posts:
OP posts:
TealSapphire · 30/03/2024 23:34

No. Any change in him will only be temporary, guaranteed. Keep moving forward and get financials etc sorted asap.

AutumnFroglets · 30/03/2024 23:41

You are angry because all this could have been avoided if only he had been a grown up years ago. The fact he's suddenly able to be the man you wanted means he CHOSE not to do those things.

If you really want to give him a chance then try counselling, but it really is highly doubtful he will stay as the new man for longer than three months.

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