Maintenance

[Dvs]

we are getting divorced after a long marriage
we have 3 kids and been married 16 years
youngest is 6
my OH have not worked since we married and was earning only a little when we met 30k before they lost their job
now I am the main breadwinner and they have been looking after the kids
we are liking to co parent with us having - similar share of parenting
I’ll do Thursday -Sunday every week
question is what should maintenance be
i think that he wants to have 5k a month to live
He will have money from the 50/50 settlement to buy a house cash with 200-300k in the bank
question is I have come to terms with giving them 50% of what we have (it was all earned by myself) as we were married a long time
but I don’t want to be paying 5k a month which is far more than is needed IMO with no mortgage and owning a car outright
has anyone been in a similar situation and has experience of how a court will interpret the nuances between reasonable needs and maintaining previous lifestyle?

https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance

He’ll be expected to work to support himself. You may, depending on your income, be expected to pay spousal maintenance for an interil
period to get them back into full
time earning, but likely to be short term (1-2 years etc) and unless you earn loads it won’t be anywhere near that.

alternatively look to give slightly higher asset split to avoid this altogether

what’s your income ?

Use the CMS calculator. £5k seems excessive of he's not going to have a mortgage and car payment to pay. Are the kids having caviar for breakfast or something?

Don't worry. Only high earners have to pay spousal support. It's very rare.

theres 2 iissues

1. child maintenance which can be calculated using cns - but if bear 50-50 not much if anything due

then spousal maintenance- which may be awarded here does on op earnings… however, per limited info appears there would be enough assets to prebevt this but likely to mean higher than 50% assets awarded to non working spouse

Op must be v high earner if ex is seeking 5k a month maintenance

How many nights are you each having them? How much do you earn?

I don't think someone who was so rich that they face possibly having to pay £5k a month in maintenance gets their financial and legal advice from mumsnet somehow.

Thanks current income on my end is 400k a year
they want to go back to work but will realistically earn 50k
i have been having health issues so wanted to change jobs already before this divorce and my new job is likely to be a significant drop in earnings so i dont want to be locked into paying high maintenance plus my job is already being changed to allow my greater participation in the weekdays so likely earnings will be nearer 200k and will fall when i move professions when able , i appreciate will have to bite bullet for the family and stick out this job a while longer and just try to minimize impact on health

i don’t plan to be spending 5k a month on lifestyle

Also we are thinking about a plan to relocate to a cheaper area so we can get our houses for cash, we are currently in Chelmsford so we will have less outgoings in the new area

As the stay at home parent he is likely to get a higher proportion of the assets, 60% potentially of house value, pensions, savings etc. if you own a business, the value of that is included. 5k seems very high! You must have a very very high income. 250k plus?

Crosspost sorry

How is he going to be doing the bulk of week day parenting and also work a £50k a year job?

😂

The same was as every other single parent does???

They will work in IT so planning to set up a work from home consultancy which can be done in daytime plus they have full Friday to Sunday free every week already
right now they are taking an online web design course which will take a year to complete

I’m guessing you’re expecting them to pay for 4 days of childcare while you just pay for the Friday?

Are they happy to not have any weekend with their children?

My point is if he can buy a house for 400-500k cash and still have 100k in the bank why is 5k reasonable needs just because the family had previously been spending double that
divorce is a big disruptor
anyway as someone higher up said yes of course we both have lawyers
but they are eye wateringly expensive hence the question on here I don’t plan to be representing myself to the judge based on a number thread 😂

he is happy to not have weekends as they will spend the weekend building up their web business , I think if the biz takes off then he would be quite happy to give me full parenting responsibilities with some childcare help of course it’s that bit in the middle where biz is not making money but is taking time and will still need maintenance that is the tricky part

also we are originally from Scotland if not for the schooling we would have relocated immediately as we both have family close by same town there

What about your pension? Does your STBX have their own? Will they not have a claim on yours?

Op must be a high earner if she can afford to give him 5k a month!

That's what I do!

Sounds to me like it would be sensible to change your job now, otherwise any split or calculations would assume an ongoing very high salary.

@Peekaboobo i earn Early 200k and do bulk of child care and always have

Op with all due respect, you can’t afford not to take proper legal advice. You are definitely not in a good position in terms of losing assets and paying significant spousal and stand to lose a lot. You must take expert legal advice