Financial split, not enough money for 2 lots of adequate housing

[Puttingonmybiggirlpants]

We are at the stage where I need to start thinking about housing post divorce.
I have applied for a contested financial order and I’m still waiting on a date for a first hearing.
house - £400k equity, £50k mortgage outstanding.
stbx : pensions valued £250k
cash savings £80k
£0 debt (not on mortgage)

me: pensions £40k
cash savings £5k
£80k debt including mortgage and student debt

he doesnt see children, doesnt want contact and isn’t paying maintenance due to hiding his income via self employment. I have no idea what his earnings are or how many hours he is working.
I have had to cut my hours right back due to childcare and additional needs meaning I am only earning £4k year plus I get benefits which is my main source of money coming in.
I cannot buy a cheaper house locally, there is nothing on the market which is suitable at a lower price than my current house would achieve.
I cannot raise any further mortgage borrowing due to my very low earnings
he doesn’t want to share pensions so I assume they can be offset by the court? How much do they usually decide to offset?
how is the court likely to see that assets should be divided?
Im really worried that my children are going to be homeless. I can afford the current mortgage but I will struggle to afford anything more than what I am currently paying.

Talk to a lawyer but all assets accrued during marriage should be treated as joint - so savings/pension/house equity (if in joint name) are not his they are also yours. No idea how any lump sum payment might affect benefits though, I got more than 50% house equity because of disparity in income and keeping pensions out of it. Good luck

Housing your children should be treated as a prority by the court so don’t worry.

No simple answer here, but if it is self employed then expect him to put savings into his business and claim minimum wage. They then cannot be taken into account.

The problem you face is that there is a lot of equity. Add in the savings you have a pot of 430k. I’d say getting 300k is maybe achievable and with a good wind you would get close to 350. Then you have to get a mortgage. If your income is so low is this possible? Some lenders will get UC take into account. But you need to look into this as this is were your plans will become undone.

Thanks everyone.
I literally cannot raise another penny for a bigger mortgage. The current mortgage was taken out in my sole name based on my previous earnings, which were higher than they are now. Stbx isn’t on the mortgage as he had a bad credit history at the time the mortgage was taken out. His credit score is now much much better.
I am really worried that I am going to have to move to another area as in order to adequately house the kids (and based on the fact I may not be able to get a new mortgage or even port my existing one) I will have to move at least 8 miles away to afford a house even if I got 70% of the equity. 2 of the children are not in mainstream schools and I don’t know how difficult it will be to get places in a specialist school in a new area. As there is a massive shortage of specialist places I don’t expect it will be straightforward.
But I also know the courts have 50:50 as a starting point and need to make things fair for my ex as well as me and the kids.
I don’t want to be greedy but I don’t want my kids to be homeless either.
I have heard about mesher orders but that just feels like delaying the inevitable and tying myself to a man who I need a clean break from for the sake of my mental health.

Do the pensions not boost the total pot well beyond £430k to be shared?

They do
but you need a valuation as £1 liquid assets doesn’t usually equate to £1 pension

What if he is already 55 and able to draw down on them and plans to do so as soon as the finances are resolved? Does that make a difference to the value of pensions? I know it still isn’t £ for £ but does it make a difference vs pensions that cannot be accessed for another 2 decades? How do you calculate what a pension is worth in relation to other assets? its all very confusing.

you need to obtain cetv and pensions valuations to give you a view.

they can also advise re taking lump sum at 55v or not and impacting start to draw it.

Is moving 8 miles and commuting to school an option? This seems like the obvious solution if you’re unable to work.

Does stbx have parents still living who you’re in touch with? Maybe you could lean on them a little to at least give some maintenance. Leaving his kids penniless is harsh to say the least. I wish there was a way of naming and shaming men who do this, like some register of deadbeat dads whose names and faces would pop up on big screens at the local supermarket/pub/leisure centre. Oh if only icould rule the world for a year or so…

Moving and commuting is not an option. The children attend specialist schools which they get LA funded taxis to and from each day. There is a massive shortage of specialist places in our borough and we will almost certainly have to move schools if we move house because we will be under a different LA. I have enquired with the current schools and they have said the children would have to change schools if move out of borough. Every child at the specialist schools in recent years who have moved out of borough has had to move school.

none of his family will provide any financial or practical support. They were not even involved when me and ex were still together. He has told them a pack of lies about me and I am the evil ex who used him for his sperm to have children who I am now keeping from him ( I am not keeping them from him and he could have contact if he actually wanted it).

How about if you give up any claim on his pension and you then keep the house and continue to pay off the mortgage - assuming you can afford that even on low earnings? That way he's walking away with his cash savings (for a deposit on a house) and a nice pension - I'd say he's doing very well out of the deal, but crucially you get to keep the house. If that sounds like it might be feasible then you need to talk it through with your solicitor as sometimes unfortunately courts just like to see everything split 50:50 - even if it means its a detriment to one partner without benefit to the other.

Yes, I would be more than happy to walk away with the house and him keeping his pension and savings.
I can afford the mortgage on my own. I have been paying it on my own the past 2 years.
we won’t agree that though as he wants to keep his savings and pension and also wants half of the house equity. As soon as I mentioned that all of the assets are jointly owned he went self employed and reduced his income to what seems On paper to be below universal credit basic personal allowance. He is earning much more than that in reality.
he isn’t bothered about his kids having somewhere to live. He just wants a cushy life for himself and thinks he deserves that regardless of his kids needs.
I would be wasting time and money getting a solicitor to send him offers with anything less than what he wants and expects.
contested order via court is pretty much the only option now and due to money I will have to be LIP in the whole process.

That’s not how it works. One party doesn’t just get to decide what they want. You have a solicitor, let them sort it out.

I don’t have a solicitor. I don’t have money for one so I have been LIP throughout and will have to continue to do so. I had had a couple of free half an hours of advice and that has been my only input from a legal professional.
I have an exemption from mediation.

I see you'd already thought of that OP sorry; sounds like a familiar story, going self employed to hide money.

Only other idea I have to is look through the Advice Now guides pinned to this topic (at the top of each thread page) by MNHQ as they are really authoritative. Also have you tried any of the charities like Rights of Women for support?
https://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/

If you're not getting a solicitor, then throw your mercy on the court - and get to court quickly. The court will not allow children with complex needs to lose school places and housing.

Agreed with PP. Even if he's not paying maintenance because he's hiding income, the courts will look at the needs of the children (stability, remaining in schools et ) and the courts will also look at his cash savings and pensions as part of the mix.
I think you'd stand a good chance of keeping the house and letting him keep his pension and savings. If he isn't agreeable to this in discussions now then get to a court where you can lay it all out in front of them including explanation of the kids needs and school situation.

Are you eligible for legal aid?

Thank you for all the responses.
to answer a few things:
i am not entitled to legal aid. The equity in the house excludes me from legal aid eligibility. But I cannot access the equity so it’s a catch 22 situation.
I have already put in the application to court for a contested financial order.
his earnings could be higher. He doesn’t have the children and has no other responsibilities or health conditions which limit his capacity to work. He used to earn a reasonable salary.
I cannot increase my earnings or work hours due to the children’s needs. Even doing the hours I am doing is really difficult and a constant stress to juggle around the kids health appointments and medical needs.
i am constantly reading al the relevant advice guides and I am really hopeful that me and the kids won’t be left without a suitable home as their needs should be the priority but I expect my stbx to argue that he has no mortgage raising capacity and his cash isn’t enough to buy a property outright.

Could you find a solicitor who will take their fee from your settlement amount? I'm sure this is a thing.

I won’t be able to pay any fee from the settlement because whatever I get will need to be used to house me and the children.

But surely you'd have a better chance of getting more money if you used a solicitor?

I am in the same boat but with zero equity thanks to the shit storm of the last year. Only a smallish pension to fight over. And minimal savings - like nothing. It's terrifying. Renting and csn only afford one decent home for kids.

But where do I find potentially £20k-£30k before or after settlement?
even if I get to keep the house I will have to Refinance to pay the legal bill and I have no means to refinance so I would have to sell the house to pay the legal bill and would then be unable to adequately house my children. It feels
like a no win situation.
all the solicitors I did speak to wanted me to pay for 6 hours work upfront (at £600 per hour) and then regularly bills would be issued after that initial money ran out.
as we are going down the contested financial route the legal bill is likely to exceed £20k if I use solicitors and I would need a barrister for the final hearing which is ££££