No maintenance or rubbish solicitor?

[ConfusedAboutDivorce]

Not really a MN post since I am not a mum, but sadly I am going through a divorce.
Now, let's talk about the financials, in theory we want to keep it amicable, but I have actually spoken to a solicitor for an initial assessment and got fairly disappointed.
We have no kids, both approximately 50 y.o.
To give some rough figures (don't want to be identified!) my STBXH makes 90k before pension, while I make 20k. Equity in 2-bed flat of 350k (500k value, 150k mortgage). Then 200k of savings and around 500k of pension (yes, we have been saving aggressively!).

The solicitor talked about a 50/50 split in the assets and that's it, no maintenance really.
He told me about all the ways the assets can be split like I keep the flat but not the pension, we sell the flat and split everything, etc... which is all very vague and unhelpful. STBXH doesn't want the flat and mentioned something like we sell the flat as he says it's in expensive area and split everything, but I wouldn't want to go through the hassle of selling the flat.

Now the sticking point: the solicitor said I won't get any maintenance as I can more or less support myself. STBXH didn't mention it either. Instead I read online on several UK lawyers websites that maintenance is actually awarded in case of income disparity and based on needs and ability to pay. My STBXH can definitely pay some maintenance with that income. It also makes sense, I come from another European country, where that massive income imbalance would definitely be compensated I think.

Which is true? The solicitor didn't seem very convincing, should I dump him and find someone better? If there is no maintenance, can I aim for 60/40 split, given my lower income? I forgot to ask this to the solicitor.

Yes, it is true I can "survive" with my income, but a part from owning a small flat I will struggle to retire and will have very little savings if any, while my STBXH won't have any issue at all.

We live in London area, so higher cost of living. I have seen other MN threads about maintenance not being given but they seem to be compensated by something like 60/40 split or more.

You can laugh, but with my income I can barely raise a 60k mortgage, so I'll need a bigger share of the equity if I want to have a roof above my head.

Do you really not get it? It’s NO-ONE else’s job to ensure you have a roof over your head. You don’t have any DC of which ex would need to ensure have a roof over their heads. You need to support yourself.

Yes, that's was I was asking about. It doesn't really make difference if it's maintenance or uneven split.

You won't get spousal maintenance, maybe a slightly bigger share of the assets.

You won’t get an uneven split if the 50:50 will provide fir basic needs

why do you think you should get it? Why do you think it’s his job to provide for you ( in assets or maintenance?)
why haven’t you earned more/ built up own pension/work full time when you do t have children

its precisely for people like this that I’ve instilled in my sons never to marry

You haven't sacrificed a career to raise joint children, that's the reason women often come away with a higher percentage.

I think if you’re taking a higher share of the equity to afford the flat and less pension, when it comes to retirement age you’ll have to sell the flat and downsize / move to a cheaper area for your retirement.

50/50 now is fair.

I have no experience what so ever with divorce but I would try and claim maintenance if you moved countries for him which then limited your earning potential.
I’m also from abroad and had qualifications for a career (bachelors and post grad qualifications) before moving here for my OH and my job is paid a lot worse in the U.K. to my home country and being in the U.K. has severely impacted my career and earnings. so if you can prove that living here for your husband’s benefit it may give you reason for maintenance or a bigger split in your favour so you can set up a life again back in your home country.

You wont get spousal maintenance and taking it court will just waste what equity you do have. You can try for 60/40 and if he is feeling generous or sick of it all he might agree, but again not worth going to court over it as you could well not get it and end paying costs. If you want more money you need a better job.

Ok, I guess the calculator on wikiworce is wrong then.

I read in USA income disparity would be compensated for a while, so it's not an absurd concept, but I guess it's not how it works here.

Sorry but op has been here at least 15 years
being in uk has not disadvantaged her earnings. Working part time is

and she’s an adult with no children. Only her choices have meant she doesntt have sane income.

what did you do before marriage I. Terms of career? What did you earn? What assets did you bring ?

sounds like rather than be disadvantaged by marriage you’ve been advantaged by it walking away with assets you’d not have been able to achieve without it

This.

if you wanted your own roof over your head, you should have worked more or progressed your career same as your dh has.

there was nothing stopping you earning more, saving more, just for this situation.

if you hadn’t married him, how would you have managed financially?

There is no way he’d have to pay you £16k on his salary with no dependent children and an ex wife who works part time and can do more to maximise their income

I had a lovely solicitor. Very knowledgeable, very sensible. I suggest you contact her. Sian Kenkre
https://www.wilkes.co.uk/individual-services/family-law/
15 years is quite a long marriage. But you will be expected to work full time.
There is no set sliding scale - it's all up for negotiation. You have to bear in mind that fighting in the courts will cost £40k - so measure any compromise against that. Work out the best deal he could get and the best deal you could get and aim for the middle.
The law sort of says you start again on an equal footing. This doesn't always mean a 50/50 division. There are a lot of variables.
If you read the research - women cling onto the marital home. This is often a mistake. I did. I left a few years later and felt pushed out. But it was the best thing ever.
Men cling onto their pensions with similar sized blinkers on.

So you want half of all the assets and pensions AND 'maintenance' ??

Surely it's him that's contributed to the savings and pensions and paid off the house because you haven't on £20k have you? And I'm sure that figures been less in previous years. Have you even earned the amount of the years which you're going to receive in the divorce??

I think you're getting more than your fair share here OP. The entitlement and greed js deafening.

Also - has he kept you for all these years you've been married ? Or have you paid half of everything on your 20k?

Are you in the US or getting divorced in the US?

Am I the only one who feels upset that women can have this sense of entitlement?
Yes, I am a woman, I have also been the major earner in our two person family throughout our relationship - because I wanted to be financially independent.
OP, I am sorry, but I think this is all sorts of wrong and entitlement

Well, why aren't you a millionaire? It's not we all manage to have a high salary, we all have skills, passions, vocations, and my skills aren't that financially rewarded.

Yes
but that doesn’t mean your husband should have to sacrifice his own assets or keep you

you’re just 2 adults who happen to earn differently. Its not his job to provide for you or be forced to give up more than half what he’s accrued !

wby do you feel entitled to it? How has marriage disadvantaged you? What sacrifices have you made apart from chosing not to further your career or work full time.?

Sell the flat, that's 175 after selling to you. Your other assets, half of savings, 100 and 250 pension are reasonable.

If you want to keep the flat you need to buy him out with pension. If you choose to keep the flat then you have to cover the 150 mortgage.

Thank you! 40k£ on each side?
Honestly I am not planning to go to court, I am just trying to figure out how things work, so I can come up with some offer.

The challenge here is that most courts would judge 50 50 as being fair as you won't have contributed anything like 50% of thr equity you'll be receiving so in that sense, it can be seen as fair. They allow for it if you had taken time off for kids etc but given that you haven't and only work part time. I don't see you getting much more than 50. Maybe ask for 55 and he may offer it to settle quickly and move on.

Why in earth should he pay for you for doing what being an ex?

But in the real world you need to be able to keep yourself and you cant follow passions

You could earn more working in Pret for example. Do you have catering or Barista skills?

I think you are being incredibly silly to think you are going to get more. I think what you are being offered is amazing when there are no kids involved
There has been nothing stopping you making more money; there has been no reason to work part time.
You are getting an incredibly generous payout and I think you need to seriously have a word with yourself before you end up with less or a battle on your hands costing you a fortune