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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Equity divide - I am probably screwed!

51 replies

24istheyear · 07/01/2024 09:00

I know I need legal advice but if anyone has any advice- would be so grateful

Equity in house is £180k. All put in by me due to sale of flat I bought before I met him.

Married for 6 years.

He is on £27k through choice. Still works full time. Halved his salary as didn't want stress.

I'm on £75k through working my arse off for last 6 years

I've been reading that I will have to give him almost all equity in house so DC get equal homes. But even if he took every penny he would struggle to get a mortgage on a place that could house him and DC comfortably where we live.

Is it not possible that I would buy him out and give him £70k or something but then he rents a nice house? I'll give him the car etc. Just don't know if I can survive if he takes every penny of the equity and it still isn't gonna get him a home round here as he doesn't earn enough.

He has been giving me a few hundred a month. Probably contributes 20% to mortgage and childcare.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Original poster
24istheyear · 07/01/2024 09:02

I imagine he will go for 5050. Which I will fight but I'm working on basis of him getting that. My eldest is autistic (primary school) and will not cope with 2 homes imo. But financially I'm trying to establish worst case scenario to come to terms with it

OP posts:
Candleabra · 07/01/2024 09:04

I thought 50:50 was the starting point? Did you put anything in writing about the deposit when you bought the property?
What is the proposal re: children (50:50?)
The best thing to do is seek legal advice so you are properly informed and can get a fair settlement.

Spirallingdownwards · 07/01/2024 09:05

Get yourself a decent lawyer pronto. He shouldn't get all the equity. He just needs to be able to house himself/kids and that can be by renting too.

Mumof3confused · 07/01/2024 09:30

So his earning capacity is higher? How simple would it be for him to get the higher-paid role now?

Stuckandunhappy · 07/01/2024 09:49

I doubt he would get all the equity. I earn 60k and my husband who has a chronic illness and can only work part-time only earns something like 10k a year. I spoke to a solicitor and the suggested something like 30:70 equity split might be likely. Without my income my husband would probably be entitled to universal credit which I hope would be taken into account too.

millymollymoomoo · 07/01/2024 10:35

Highly unlikely he’d get 100% of equity u less you have massive pension which could offset

things that will be considered also include
length of marriage - not that long
earning potential - his can increase and he’ll be judged on that basis
whetner he has been disadvantaged by children ( eg career impact/break etc)

Original poster
24istheyear · 07/01/2024 12:54

Ah OK. Thank you. 5050 split of equity was enough to get my head round given he put in 0 initially and then has proactively sought to earn less. Not loads or anything but we work in similar sectors and should be earning similar. His boss asked him about promotion/training to get promotion and he nodded along and then has done nothing go pursue it - yet complains we are skint and pushing me to find a way to make more.

But solicitors tell me that it's done on a basis on equal needs of kids and therefore they will give him mich larger % due to salary disparity. But that's a bit ridiculous as he could only afford a 2 bed flat on his salary even with all the equity which would not be best for all our DC yet if he rents and I buy him out he could rent lovely place.

I figure I should bite bullet now as I can't see him earning more as long as I continue to earn as he has no motivation so will just worse.

OP posts:
MinnieMotor · 07/01/2024 13:01

I divorced after 6 years and I paid a third of the price of our house purchase as a deposit from the sale of my previous home. It went t to court as he argued for more. I was awarded the increased one third value of our home, minus outstanding mortgage which left about £75k equity. He walked away with £30k and I housed the children. He did move in with a new partner but at best he'd have got half the £75k if he hadn't moved in with her.

Due to the short duration of my marriage was the reason I was able to retain my paid percentage of the deposit.

Original poster
24istheyear · 07/01/2024 13:12

@MinnieMotor ah that gives me a little reassurance. I've got to do it now - I know I do - I cannot be with him mich longer without losing my mind and the kids are so young I'm hoping it will be less distressing for them. Does your ex have the DC to stay etc? As that might have played a part? I know I will lose some of the £ I put in and I absolutely do not want my ex to be struggling - I just don't want to lose everything to buy a house for someone who wants to play video games all day while I'm working every hour and doing the child/home stuff. It's not fair.

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 07/01/2024 13:16

I put £90k down on the marital home and got it all back plus 65pc of the equity left, you need a good solicitor. I used one from the family law society

Original poster
24istheyear · 07/01/2024 13:24

Also, there is potentially a new position coming up at work that is 10k more - I would be am idiot to apply for this right? My instinct is always go for stuff and try to earn more, but would that be stupid given I'm determined to divorce my nasty husband this year and given our wage disparity already

OP posts:
MinnieMotor · 08/01/2024 14:25

24istheyear · 07/01/2024 13:12

@MinnieMotor ah that gives me a little reassurance. I've got to do it now - I know I do - I cannot be with him mich longer without losing my mind and the kids are so young I'm hoping it will be less distressing for them. Does your ex have the DC to stay etc? As that might have played a part? I know I will lose some of the £ I put in and I absolutely do not want my ex to be struggling - I just don't want to lose everything to buy a house for someone who wants to play video games all day while I'm working every hour and doing the child/home stuff. It's not fair.

He did to start with but after about two years he lost interest and hasn't seen them in ages. They have no interest in him now.

YoBeaches · 08/01/2024 17:32

You can propose any settlement you like to him. The only reason ut goes to court is if you. It's can't agree it together

A solicitor then makes a legal document that references your agreement.

Start with where the kids are going to live and what his plan is after divorce.
Does he know you plan to divorce him?

Original poster
24istheyear · 08/01/2024 20:37

@YoBeaches no, he doesn't. He hates me though and we are so distant. He won't leave as he enjoys the comforts and he is a bit of a hermit. I'm v scared of leaving for so many reasons but I know I must.

I'm planning on telling him in late Spring once I've talked to a few solicitors, read everything online, and sorted my finances. I keep saving but then think maybe I shouldn't be as won't he just have that too?

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 08/01/2024 21:00

The savings will go in the pot for division

Original poster
24istheyear · 08/01/2024 21:12

So save enough to pay for a good solicitor but not much more I guess?

He hates me. He's gonna act like I'm breaking up the family but his resentment of me increases every day

OP posts:
caringcarer · 08/01/2024 22:45

24istheyear · 07/01/2024 13:24

Also, there is potentially a new position coming up at work that is 10k more - I would be am idiot to apply for this right? My instinct is always go for stuff and try to earn more, but would that be stupid given I'm determined to divorce my nasty husband this year and given our wage disparity already

Don't go for promotion until after financial settlement/divorce. I also expect you'll end up having to 'pension share' too. If he has DC more than you you'll end up paying him maintenance too. If you have DC equal amount of times neither pays child maintenance to the other. If you have DC more often than stbexh he will have to pay child maintenance to you for the DC. I'd push hard for the fact your marriage was relatively short. You shouldn't get less than 50/50 as shortish marriage and you supplied the full deposit. You should have ring-fenced the deposit.

Original poster
24istheyear · 08/01/2024 23:03

@caringcarer my solicitor didn't tell me that was even an option. He managed the sale of my flat (sole ownership) and then purchase of new house (joint ownership) and said because I'd got married before selling the flat it was all "in the joint pot now". I thought once marriage and DC happen the house is joint. Not a problem when head over heels in love. I was so naive.

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 08/01/2024 23:14

Can you prove that you purchased the 1st flat by yourself ? Do you still have any of the paperwork ?

I proved the purchase of a flat, then a house then the final house. It turns out I had a very good paper trail.

And a good solicitor ! I used one that dealt with divorce/finances not one that did conveyancing on my previous property purchase/s.

Original poster
24istheyear · 08/01/2024 23:17

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon yes absolutely I can. I bought it before I met him and he never paid a penny towards it. The house is our first and only joint financial commitment.

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 08/01/2024 23:55

My solicitor would have said, if the current value of the house is e.g. £400,000 and the equity is £180,000 then any discussion is only regarding the other £220,000.

Providing you have proof, my solicitor was very hot on proof.

You need to find a good solicitor. Word of mouth is often good if someone knows of someone who specialises in the finances of divorces.

In the meantime do not offer your stbexh anything at all, as he will only think of it as a starting point not a final offer !

MollyButton · 09/01/2024 05:27

If you go for the promotion you need to have split before then.
I was the poorer partner (having sacrificed my career for child care). I still only got 50% of everything.
The house was sold and we both ended up buying somewhere "cheaper" but both are perfectly adequate.
It is quite normal to have to move to a cheaper area. And even if 50:50 care the number of bedrooms doesn't have to be one per child, they can share.
Basically get better legal advice.

LemonTT · 09/01/2024 06:29

The solicitor is right. The equity in the house is a marital asset. No part of it can be ring fenced under English law. How that asset is treated depends on many factors including length of the relationship (not length of the marriage), needs, maximum income, outgoings and number of children. This combination of factors leads to many outcomes that aren’t 50:50 or 100%.

A short marriage and no children or life changing events could result in parties being awarded shares based on input. Again the length of the marriage is the length of the relationship and the fact there are children means this will not be the case. The solicitor is right.

Original poster
24istheyear · 09/01/2024 12:13

@LemonTT thank you for that - the 'max income' thing is interesting - our earning potential is v similar - i earn more because i went for promotions, he didn't. but he could earn the same as me. he didn't reduce income to do more childcare - he still works full time and i do all the appointments, school etc, he just wants to be junior so no pressure. if they based it on 'earning potential' rather than 'earning' - we should get equal.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 09/01/2024 15:24

24istheyear · 09/01/2024 12:13

@LemonTT thank you for that - the 'max income' thing is interesting - our earning potential is v similar - i earn more because i went for promotions, he didn't. but he could earn the same as me. he didn't reduce income to do more childcare - he still works full time and i do all the appointments, school etc, he just wants to be junior so no pressure. if they based it on 'earning potential' rather than 'earning' - we should get equal.

His maximum income is working FT in his current profession or job.

If he was part time it is reasonable to use a FT income. If he is a doctor working as a busker that his job choice is a lifestyle issue.

He wasn’t ambitious in the marriage and that was how you lived.