Fair split?

[Jonathan70]

Does this sound fair?
Separated 2017, children stayed in family home with mum. I went to live with my parents until 2020 as no way of affording rent or another mortgage.

I now live with my partner in her house. The family home is about to be sold and ex to move in with her partner.

We are both low earners - once she is living with her partner she will only be entitled to child maintenance and child benefit, other benefits will end.

The equity split will be 100k to me, 160k to her.
Her income will be £1850 pm compared to £1350 (mine). Our pensions are about £4K each. She retained family car and contents of house.

There is one child aged 16, one over 18 living at home who works full time and one at uni with full university loan. They spend weekends with me and weekdays with mum (when at home from uni etc), plus shared holidays. The youngest comes every week.

Think it works out at about a 63/37 % split.

Thanks

@Nimbus1999 isn't a 60-40 split for when tbere are younger dc, not a 16yo and 18yo? He's been paying maintenance so it seems disproportionate that she gets the lions share when he's made sacrifices to house his dds up to 18 and its only the ex wanting to move in with new man thats changed that.

These are good points. I’ve held off for a good while trying to negotiate from 4% to this whilst being accused of stopping her from moving on etc. I just wish there was an easier formula to work out what is actually fair or a way of a neutral party making a fair decision without all the expense.

I just don’t know…..? There aren’t any clear answers to be found relating to the ages of the children - my ex has listed the over 18s as dependent on the family alongside our 16 year old - I don’t know if they will be factored into the equity split or not. I don’t know if the fact that I also house them, albeit for less time, will come into it.

But if you got 50% of the equity would your plan then be to buy a house closer to the kids school? You could then have them 50/50.

She sounds very manipulative. The fair thing to have done was to sell the house as soon as you split 50/50. This would then have allowed you both to house yourself and you could have facilitated 50/50 custody. Sounds like she's had everything her way and was happy to just throw you some scraps.

Adult children are disregarded from any housing needs in the split ( not saying that’s necessarily right) but they are not included in eg number of bedrooms needed when considering housing needs

in some special circumstances child maintenance can be agreed if they are at uni

you simply state you don’t agree and ask for nearer 50%.

Agree with @Illpickthatup

You need to start with some blacks and whites...

1 what is the value of the house

1. What was the value of the mortgage paid up to when she took it on in 2017 and therefore what % has she paid off in her own right
2. What value of maintenance have you been paying her each month since 2017
3. What is the value of the car
4. what is the value of the contents of the house

6 what is the value of anything else that you consider a marital asset (savings, pensions etc)

Get those numbers down and you can work out a more appropriate % split.

To you own the house as joint tenants or tenants in common?

Point 2 is not relevant

Don't settle for less than 45 percent of equity for yourself. She's had cheap accommodation for years at your expense.

I have been battling for years to get 50 % and it’s cost me £32 500 so far. It’s a case of weighing up if it’s worth the cost for the amount you’d gain.

It is as relevant as point 3. The two go hand in hand.

Correct. I paid the mortgage for 7 years and my ex still got 50% of the selling price.

We jointly own the property. The figures given in the first post (hers and mine) if added together are the joint assets minus the mortgage.
The value of the contents of the house and car valuation is not asked for on the D81.
I’ve been told by a solicitor that point 2 is irrelevant due to my share being tied up in the house with no benefit to me and the value of the maintenance was around double the amount suggested by CMS until 2 years ago and now it’s just over the amount suggested. The maintenance, tax credits, child benefit and other benefits received were more than the figure my ex gave for her total outgoings including luxuries, leaving her part time wage surplus each month, hence the reason she remained part time until the elder two turned 18.

Yes that’s my concern and I just haven’t got it. I’m sorry you’re in that predicament too. It feels so very unfair.

Go for 50/50 and use some of the extra equity to pay for legal fees.

I wouldn’t be able to buy a house locally to them even with 50% and I can’t expect my partner to uproot away from her job and where her own children go to school when I’ve relied on her for a long time. In the long term, when all children have finished their education, we will see where we are at and look to purchase somewhere together, depending on where the children are at that point.

@YoBeaches its not relevant as op ex has some use of property,, op would have claim to occupational rent, and his investment is tied up making him homeless, the fact op ex has laid the mortgage since separation is not relevant to the overall share /settlement

So my point is that your ex can't claim that she has paid the mortgage fully herself and only by her self for the last 6 years if you have been paying double the amount of CMS due. Can she?

So if you can't calculate a counter offer yourself, you go for 60/40 in your favour as a starting point. You have continued to contribute to the property/ running costs in 6 yrs that you haven't been there as a detriment to your own ability to live independently.

Get a solicitor or you're going to get screwed with your current approach.

I don’t really see how you can claim to have paid everything yourself when working part time and with benefits being awarded in respect of our three children - benefits I would also have been in receipt of had she left and I stayed. She wouldn’t have received them if we didn’t have the children. She was better off financially once we separated.

That’s yobeaches point I think
your ex was only able to pay the mortgage because you paid more cms than due, she claimed benefits that she could only because you moved out

regardless there’s no point arguing who paid what as courts won’t care

there’s no reason to deviate from 50:50 based on the info you’ve provided here so go back with that !

Yes that's exactly my point. She has no grounds for 50/50 and is excluding other marital
Assets from the paperwork.

Please get a solicitor to help you navigate this. It worn coat that much in comparison to what you are about to loose otherwise.

*wont cost

Thanks to all for your replies.
Can I ask….
how much detail should you go into in the D81. Is it relevant to put that I paid double the amount suggested by CMS, that my ex is planning on buying a property outright, that I lived with my parents initially and can’t now pay anything approaching my share of the outgoings at my current address …. Is it relevant that my ex received much more in benefits until last year when the elder two turned 18 or are they only interested in the situation now? I’m asking this for whatever we eventually agree upon. What did other people write about the equity split?