Fair split?

[Jonathan70]

Does this sound fair?
Separated 2017, children stayed in family home with mum. I went to live with my parents until 2020 as no way of affording rent or another mortgage.

I now live with my partner in her house. The family home is about to be sold and ex to move in with her partner.

We are both low earners - once she is living with her partner she will only be entitled to child maintenance and child benefit, other benefits will end.

The equity split will be 100k to me, 160k to her.
Her income will be £1850 pm compared to £1350 (mine). Our pensions are about £4K each. She retained family car and contents of house.

There is one child aged 16, one over 18 living at home who works full time and one at uni with full university loan. They spend weekends with me and weekdays with mum (when at home from uni etc), plus shared holidays. The youngest comes every week.

Think it works out at about a 63/37 % split.

Thanks

Why was the equity split not 50/50? Were you married? Was the deposit ringfenced or something? Did ex pay more towards the mortgage. It's difficult to say if it's fair without knowing who contributed what to the house in the first place.

Thanks for responding.
We were/are married since 2003, living together before that. Paid mortgage and all bills jointly but once we separated and I wasn’t living in the property she took over what was left of the small mortgage and bills, as was receiving about £1200pm in benefits and child maintenance to top up her own income. She had excess funds each month to save.
We both paid the deposit on first house etc. It’s not 50/50 as she would not agree to that and I can’t afford to pay court fees. I’m wondering if it will be agreed in a consent order or whether it will be queried.

So she has been paying the mortgage since 2017?

yes I would say that it seems fair in these circumstances to have in effect a60/40 split and it would be signed off

Thanks for the reply.
Yes she has, but then I haven’t been able to get a mortgage, as my share of the equity has been tied up in it since then plus my name is on that mortgage. Local rents are about three times the mortgage payment, if not more. Her income has been some 2 1/2 times mine when you include child maintenance etc. Had I been the one to remain in the family home and she’d gone to live with her parents, the scenario would have been reversed.

Why has it taken so long to sell the house?

Sorry I'd go for 50:50, settle for 55:45?

She benefitted from cheaper housing at your expense.

Because her plan was to remain in it until the children had left home, or indefinitely, but then met her new partner and they’ve decided they want to buy a new house together.
She previously argued that it wasn’t in the kids best interests to sell the family home and that she wouldn’t be forced to sell it by a Court, but that is what I’d have had to do if I wanted it sold. She also argued that 100% of the equity was hers. Her first offer was 4%.

She's taking the utter piss out of you. Get a lawyer and take her to court. Would you be eligible for legal aid?

Thanks, this seems more reasonable to me but then it’s hard to be objective when you are in the middle of it. I just wondered if the current split would get signed off….or if other people had had this type of split queried?

If she has paid the mortgage for 6 years then a 60/40 split seems fair unless it's a multi million pound house!

I'm assuming you paid maintenance as stated by the cms website?

I think the problem is that there are such wide parameters of fairness and a solicitor can only really give an estimate. The solicitor I’ve consulted with seems to think this is within the acceptable parameters - it would cost so much to go to Court.
In mediation she disclosed that she and her partner wouldn’t require a mortgage to purchase whereas my partner is mortgaged to the hilt in her property, where I reside. Does the fact they won’t need a mortgage need to go on the D81 or is that irrelevant?

New partners situations are irrelevant. Just because her partner's financially better off has no weighting on how much she is owed from the house sale. Doesn't matter if he had a full paid 10 million mansion. She's entitled to what she's entitled to.

If a solicitor is saying the percentages are in the acceptable parameters then I'd go with that. Again it's hard to say not knowing exactly how much more she's paid than you.

No it doesn’t seem fair. She had full use of his property. This was a more affordable and presumably preferred option for her. She could only do this with his capital. It’s not fair he had to seek and pay for alternative accommodation.

They are divorcing and who paid for what is not relevant in any way.

They have equal needs and it should a more equal share.

Yes it is in acceptable parameters abd yes it will be signed off.
partners are immaterial to this

could you get more through the court yes possibly and the cost would certainly outweigh the offer

I’d say it’s weighted unfavourably to you and you should seek higher share tbh more towards 50:50

she may have laid mortgage but your capital has been tied up leaving you unable to house yourself and she’s had sole use of the property.

you are due an equal share

Well, that’s the point. Staying in the family home meant her outgoings were around 1/3 of mine so the situation meant she was paying less, not more. She benefitted from the arrangement and accumulated a good amount of savings, as had surplus funds each month. She kept the car and entire contents of the house.

My DH has just paid £1200 for a lawyer for a civil case. Similar deal, disagreement about a house. Surely the money you'd win if you go to court would more than pay for that. Find a lawyer who will quote you a price upfront with no hidden extras. You can always self represent but you'd have a much better chance of winning if you get a lawyer.

I’m guessing it’s likely to get signed off though - if a consent order is drafted to that effect?

How have your outgoings been 3 x what hers are when you've been living with you parents and she's been financially responsible for raising your 3 children?

Don’t draft the consent order in this split?

it may get challenged but you can’t rely on it being so

go back with a revised offer that is fairer to you

When I split with my ex, i took over the mortgages but the equity when the house sold was split 50/50.

Also if she has been saving, you would be entitled some of that.

I’ve been paying the mortgage for 1.5 years and the equity is likely to be split 50/50. Young children involved too.

It doesn’t have to cost the earth (£275 for a court fee and then represent yourself). It’s what I’m doing. I figured, I have nothing to lose.

Could you consider this? The only issue is it is a slow process, expect a delay of at least 6 months.

You would both have to fully disclose the house equity, pension, savings etc and then it would be looked at on a needs basis. If the children live with her a majority of the time, then 60/40 is not unreasonable. Will the children ever live with you 50/50?

Potentially she is getting a lot more than you if she has 60% of equity plus all the savings she has accumulated. She can afford to adequately house herself without a mortgage whereas you can’t. I’m not sure a judge would think that is fair?

I would love to split having the children more and would have had them more but couldn’t house myself locally to them or give them proper accommodation for more nights. They shared a room at my parents at weekends while I slept on the sofa and, at my partners, up to 7 of us (including her two children) sleep in a small 3 bed house (it’s more like 2 1/2 bedrooms!) I also live 40 mins from the children and work 3 nights a week. I have them every weekend and every other opportunity I get though.

No it's not fair. You need to stand up for yourself.

Of course a lawyer is going to tell you it is within parameters. A professional will not over promise.

if you self represent this causes her delay and inconvenience and costs you little.

You could try mediation first and you both share the cost of that. The offer to enter into mediation will look favourable If you do end up in court.

Also your 16yo will be that much closer to moving out if there is further delay. If ex wants new man to move in then he needs to pay rent and you shouldn't have to agree to house her new partner. I know she's paying the mortgage but in so doing she's tied up your capital to have the house she wants. That's one thing when it's your joint DC you are supporting but another thing when she moves a man in.

Stand your ground. You now have nothing to lose. It will be stressful but the other option is a lifetime of bitterness and regret. There is lots of advice online about being litigant in person.

youve had to live with family so she could benefit from the family home. You've done a good thing for your dds but something has to give.

T ell her that if this goes to court she is going to lose out too as that split is derisory when you've held off selling the house for so long. If you stand up to her she will have more incentive to compromise.

You both have 2 more years of caring for the 16yo. Can she hold out on setting up home with new man u til the youngest goes to university? Then split 50-50. In your back pocketyou could agree with a fair adjustment to be considered for the extra mortgage costs she has paid but only taking into account your housing costs over the same period and not all of it as you've had to endure living with family them relying on your girlfriend.