Ex refusing to allow child abroad

[DeeDee20]

Hello,
please can I get some advice. My long term partner and I are separating. Which he is in denial about. We have a joint mortgage and baby. He is refusing mediation, to sell the house, everything.
I have a family wedding abroad for a few days coming up. He is saying I can’t take the baby. I’m planning to take his birth certificate. We are there 4 days. I know he can stop me if he goes to court but I doubt he knows this and would actually do it. I think he’s just lashing out. Has any one been abroad with their child and don’t share the same surname without a written note from the farther? Thank you.

@Enderunicorn no I don’t think he would call the police. He thinks he has power over me because baby has his last name. So he has the last laugh sort of thing. He doesn’t understand or propably realise the law behind it and that it’s actually about knidnapping etc. He can’t bare to be away from her so this will hurt him.
I will be getting right on this when I’m back. He’s refusing to talk to mediation/solicitors about the house so I’ll sort this out all with that ok my return

Aaah, the patriachy at work!

Have a good holiday OP. Sounds like you're very clear eyed and on top of things which is brilliant.

I may have missed this but is he on the birth cert? I assume if baby has his name he is but if not then he would have to go to court on that issue first.

Couldn't you just say you are widow and that the father is dead? Surely they'd be that embarrassed they aren't likely to launch an investigation at the check in desk?

OP, I've taken my ds out of the country multiple times without ex's permission. He, like your ex, enjoys playing stupid control games. I just ignore him.

Originally I didn't take any paperwork except passports. Coming home from the third trip, the immigration chap on Eurostar asked if I could prove ds was my child (different surnames). I told him to ask ds who was then 9.

For the next trip, I typed a letter from my ex, giving me permission, forged his signature, posted it to myself, and took that. Plus ds' birth certificate. I've never been asked for it, but how would a busy immigration officer know any different?

When ds goes away with the school, the school don't need ex's permission, only mine. The law is ridiculous.

I hope you have a good holiday.

Hi im planning to go and work abroad my concern is my daugther's father he isnt active in her life and dont want to co-parent or help to support her. He only says that he want to take her from me and care for her at his parents house but further he wont cooperate while she is in my care

Hi I need some advice…

my ex and I separated since my Lg was 4months old. She is currently 2years & 8months old . We’ve been through the family court. I have been given the lives with order and my ex the spend time with.

my LG has never spent more than 3 days without me. She goes to nursery three times a week ( Wednesday , Thursday & Friday)

my ex was given on his week 1 - Wednesday pick up from nursery at 1pm and drop her to nursery the following day ( Thursday at 8am)
week 2 Wednesday again pick up from nursery 1pm drop off at nursery Thursday 8am . And Friday pick up 1pm up to the weekend with him and return my LG to me at 4pm Sunday.

At the moment my ex has requested that he wants to take our child on an international holiday for 15 days in October 2025 , The flight is 18+ hours. And the time difference is 8 hours ahead.

i have reached out to him to say that I don’t agree with it. And with what’s happening atm with the Middle East . Although there might not be a travel ban as of yet. I am worried that my child might get stuck out there with him. Also he has family members to Philippines and have a house there I am afraid that he might not take my child back to the UK .

another thing is that she’s never been away from me for a long period of time.
shes not capable of reaching out to me yet if anything happens. Also I won’t be able to speak to my child as he doesn’t call me or update me when she is with him.

I did however offer a 8 days as a compromise to his 15 days. Offering that he gives me an all of the information, travel itinerary, travel insurance, health plan, emergency plan, updates and FaceTime calls with my child.
And no international trips.

however he refused this offer and implied that he may pursue court action.

I am merely stating that he prioritises our LG instead of his needs. As I don’t think an international travel is not developmentally or emotionally appropriate for her at this time.

please can anyone give me their opinion on what I should do ?
or any advice?

I travelled with my baby many many times and have never been asked for her birth certificate or a note from her father.

He has also travelled with her and again, although I’ve provided a note at times - he has never been asked.