Is this 50 / 50 custody?

[Divorceguilt]

So I have our child every day during the week, I pick him up from school. So I have him Monday and Monday night, Tuesday and Tuesday night, Wednesday and then his dad will sometimes take him on a Wednesday night and then I will have him Thursday and Thursday night and then Friday all day , then his dad picks him up on a Friday after work and keeps him all weekend and then drops him to school on a Monday.
Would this be seen as his dad having him more than me as he would have him 4 nights that particular week?
Even though technically I have him all day for 5 days , does that not matter and is it only based on how many nights we have him?
Basically I'm happy for us to be having our child 50 50 but I don't want his father to be having him more than me or to be viewed as the main carer.
What would 50 50 look like on this situation?
One week he has him 4 nights , the next week I have him 4 nights and so on?
Sorry to be so precise about it but I feel like I'm his mother and should be his main carer.

Or as your son has found a preferance how it is now, as has his dad you could just carry on as it is!

A court would take a dim view of changing the status quo if its seems changes are geared more towards acheiving financial gain than your childs welfare and happiness.

@ZeroFucksGivenToday I have him every single afternoon and we do stuff and all day during the week in the school holidays. His dad never takes him away on holiday. I also take him on weekends away.

so just settle that it is 50/50 now, just call it that. no drams, no need to calculate money and sons happy, dads happy. thats 2/3rds of you happy.
I thought you were happy until you realised you didnt actualy have him more even though you felt like you did

legaly his dad has him more week by week based on nights, thats how they calculate it, even if you have him all day everyday and he only slept away from you, theres no saying its fair but its the same if a dad takes his child all day everyday but takes back to mum to sleep, she would get maintainance because child slept there.

That's not old fashioned, it's just sexist and not a very good reason to start a legal wrangle with an ex!

Sorry but you are being unreasonable for saying you feel
you should have more because you’re his mother

im not commenting on whether the current schedule is right or works but you don’t deserve more simply because you’re mother so you need to stop thinking in those terms

as others have said work out 50/50 over a 2 week or 4 week period not on a weekly one

So even in the holidays his dad had more nights, dad is the primary carer, that’s how it’s calculated.

Makes you wonder what OP thinks would be fair in a family with two mums or two dads. Fascinating.

This sounds awful for the poor child. Why wouldn't you want weekends with your son? That's the fun time.

I don't think people should start picking on the OP but stand back and be objective. I'm sorry I opened the floodgates by saying something was sexist and I apologise because I was making a point about the courts and why they would be at odds with the OP's view.

@Divorceguilt If this arrangement works for you so be it but it has the odd effect of both restricting your ability to work or to claim maintenance. You are also missing out on fun time with your child. You should at least make yourself aware of the long term consequences of this for you both financially and emotionally.

I’m soon to be starting a 50/50 custody and it will be:

ex - Mon & Tue night
me - Wed & Thu night
alternate - Fri, Sat and Sun nights.

It works out exactly 50/50 so neither one of us will be the “main carer” or pay CM.

There is no way I wouldn’t want a weekend with my child, that’s the fun time! Will he always go to school until 2pm? What happens when he is older? Likely you will see him much less if studying / seeing friends until later and then you won’t have the weekend to balance things out.

I’d think carefully!

I don't understand women like you, who think you're more important than the dad because you have a vagina.

I'd say your son is very fortunate to have a dad who is so involved, in a world where many dad's do the bare minimum or aren't involved at all.

All this "I want to be the main carer" is just petty.

What I will say is that I don't think your current 50/50 split is very fair. Dad is getting all the weekend fun while being able to maintain a career Monday - Friday. If you're happy with the current set up then fair enough but you should have equal opportunities in regards to holding down a job and building a career.

We do week on/week off so both parents have the same number of school days and weekends. This might mean your ex will have to change his working hours but why should you have to sacrifice your career so he can have his?