Is this 50 / 50 custody?

[Divorceguilt]

So I have our child every day during the week, I pick him up from school. So I have him Monday and Monday night, Tuesday and Tuesday night, Wednesday and then his dad will sometimes take him on a Wednesday night and then I will have him Thursday and Thursday night and then Friday all day , then his dad picks him up on a Friday after work and keeps him all weekend and then drops him to school on a Monday.
Would this be seen as his dad having him more than me as he would have him 4 nights that particular week?
Even though technically I have him all day for 5 days , does that not matter and is it only based on how many nights we have him?
Basically I'm happy for us to be having our child 50 50 but I don't want his father to be having him more than me or to be viewed as the main carer.
What would 50 50 look like on this situation?
One week he has him 4 nights , the next week I have him 4 nights and so on?
Sorry to be so precise about it but I feel like I'm his mother and should be his main carer.

So am I right in saying that the 50/ 50 custody is calculated over the year to see who has the child most? And not on a week by week or month by month basis? Is this how a family solicitor would work it out? By the year?

@Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday during school hols, I have him all day and sometimes we will go on holiday together or a few weekends away together

Average number of overnights per week across the year is what cms is based on. So the daytimes are irrelevant

@Mademethink I don't really know what I want to be honest, we have just sort of fallen into this pattern. My ex and son seem to be happy with it.

Why would you not want any weekends with your son? The Dad is getting the fun time, and you will hardly be seeing him.
Plus it sounds very much like you're focused on the money side of things and not what's in the best interests of your child.
Make a schedule that gives both of you equal time throughout the week, and look at alternating weekends so you both get to spend time with him then.

Others have said lots of good points already about nights.

What they haven't said is that men having more weekends and fewer weekdays lets him get ahead in his career AND have more of the 'fun time', AND avoid paying for any childcare on these days. Meanwhile you're somewhat stuck for jobs as you have to manage dropoff/pickup, plus you're paying for childcare if needed during term and even more for any holiday clubs, plus as they get older you're having to be mean nagging mum chasing them to get up, get ready, do homework, sorting out dinner and jobs, while on the weekend he's the one watching their sports matches and watching movies / playing FIFA.

Not a great split of time.

As you should be happy with it in a world full of Dads who don't give a shit, I'd argue.

If it works for them both, who gives a stuff who's the 'main carer'? If it's 50/50 you're both equal, as it should be. Being a mother doesn't make you the main carer by default.

A man can be the main carer just as much as a woman can.

That sounds like a very confusing schedule for your child.

Maybe you should suggest you ex do EOW from school pick up Friday til school drop off Monday and then one night midweek like a Wednesday from school pick up to school drop off on a Thursday

As pp started main carer is based on overnights …

all the other timings are irrelevant . It sounds like ex is the main carer.

Are you asking who is the main carer in relation to child benefit or child maintenance OP?

What overnights at his dads does he do in the school hols?

I didnt think it could be split, i also have an ex who claims the amount and still holds the opinion she is primary carer even though its not 50/50 i have my Dd probably 80%+ of the time and still pay voluntary maintainance - for now!

Im slightly annoyed by this wanting 50/50 for reasons other that the benifit or preferance of the child.

Child comes 1st, parents come 2nd.....

But you aren't having any weekends? Surely you hardly ever see him awake when he's at school?

Ex is currently doing 8 nights a fortnight . Why should he drop to 4/5 ?

@Duckingella would that work out 50/50?
Genuine question , I find the whole custody thing very confusing especially as there's only 7 days in a week and it can't be split evenly.

But you can do 7/14 or 26/52 - lots of ways to make it 50%

@Hairyfairy01 he finishes school at 2pm and goes to bed at around 8pm, then is up at about 6.30am. He also gets into bed with my most nights in the middle of the night. So I do still feel like I see him plenty.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz he does 3 or 4 nights during school hols and sometimes I will take our son away for the week or for the weekend

I take it neither of you have a new partner yet? This sounds confusing and unworkable long term, what about when your DH gets a new girlfriend and they never get a weekend together

This is all about you "feeling" you should be the main carer (and probably money motivated).
why on earth wouldn't you want a weekend day with your child?

but you need to decide your motivation for changing it, because nothing you've said so far is because you'd like a lovely weekend with them, you've said you feel you see them plenty. So if you change it, it's about the money and status.

Do you not want a weekend with your child?