Anyone run out of money and represented themselves?

[DivorceWillBeTheDeathOfMe]

My divorce has been dragging on for more than 18 months and I have spent £25k on solicitors so far. I am absolutely at the end of the line - financially, emotionally, everything.

I have another bill due any day which I know will be c£5,000 and I absolutely, simply do not have the money. People keep saying "it's only money". or "it will be worth it in the end", or "you can't let him win" and honestly nobody seems to have a clue what I am going through.

I am due t go to court next week and after that, assuming we can't agree, I am thinking I should termiinate my solicitor and represent myself. I literally don't know where to begin. Is it do-able?

Yes why don’t courts recognise narcissists! I’m trying to leave my hopefully soon to be ex husband but it’s been a year and a half now he basically wants everything too! My parents paid off our mortgage he lives like I king I love on my wages spending most of them on the children, I just want to get away but last year the house sold then at last minute he said no I’m not letting it sell as finances not sorted! I put in an offer to him but guess what no counter offer! He spied on us with ring cameras all around the outside of the house and in the garage and probably in the house! I had enough and spent all my money and more so far £17k and still in the same situation 😭😭😭

OP, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. Your ex sounds awful and it's so terrible to know so many people are going through this.

My friend is going through the exact same thing at the moment. She's spent around £6k so far with more bills to come.

Her STBXH is a bully and is trying to force her to accept his offer before they go to court in September by not paying the mortgage. Has told her they will both default and be blacklisted in the future because of it. She feels stuck between a rock and a hard place and doesn't know what to do. Her solicitor has told her (before this latest of not paying the mortgage) not to accept his offer and that it isn't fair. He's having none of it and says what he is offering is more than fair.

Since separating from her husband 2 years ago he has been controlling her using the children. His behavior has caused her to get her solicitor to write to his solicitor numerous times, resulting in these high solicitors fees, which will no doubt rise after his latest shenanigans. It's just neverending because he just won't sit down and communicate with her face to face, yet sends vile, abusive texts to her.

Is the information that the solicitors are giving worth it? Do they tell you what you are entitled to and what to ask for in court or do the courts decide it based on all the facts? Surely it should come down to the courts. What happens to the people who can't afford solicitors? Why should they not get their fair share because they haven't got the funds to get endless advice from solicitors. It's awful.

I hope you'll find the iamlip resources useful. There's also Wikivorce (which includes a forum), and a concise book called Divorce for Dummies.

Approx 35K was spent on legal costs when I divorced in 2016. Ex went through four different solicitors as they thought they were doing a bad job. The reality was they were making outrageous demands based on alleged hidden assets.

Two cost orders were made against them for two pointless maintenance pending suits. Also, at the final hearing they did not turn up. So, a third cost order was made and the judge agreed the offer made at the beginning of the divorce, almost two years earlier, was fair.

I would rather have given the 35K to ex than spend it on fees, but as they were the applicant for the financial remedy, I had to go along with the process.

To OP

Can your stbx not help you with costs? It may initally sound silly, but any help provided will be reflected in the final settlement.

Good luck

Thankyou - as it happened I went to court and got a shitty deal :( it ended up costing me £40k++ which is now just on credit cards….. I have broached child maintenance and he point blank refuses - I have decided to let it go as i just don’t have the fight any more!

If you do decide to go back, it is possible to be a LIP and come out OK. I got the Dummy guide, paid for just legal advice but from a very experienced solicitor and had the help of a charity within the court, who spoke to you beforehand, took notes and talked afterwards. I did all the admin myself. I got a good outcome. You can also hire barristers for the day, if you didn't want to represent yourself in court and brief them yourself.

I arranged child maintenance over the phone in 2017 for a 20 pounds fee. A decision made by the CMS is binding and can be enforced. Link is

https://www.bing.com/ck/a?!&&p=a501402280a4f302JmltdHM9MTcxNDAwMzIwMCZpZ3VpZD0xMzBhYWNjOC1kM2ViLTY5YWEtMjk3Zi1iOGEzZDIwMDY4ZDcmaW5zaWQ9NTIyOQ&ptn=3&ver=2&hsh=3&fclid=130aacc8-d3eb-69aa-297f-b8a3d20068d7&psq=is+child+maintenance+a+legal+requirement&u=a1aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ292LnVrL2NoaWxkLW1haW50ZW5hbmNlLXNlcnZpY2U&ntb=1

Hi
How did it go?
I'm on the same situation. Spent a little more than £7k to take off the ground, but bounced back and forwards. He cleared off my account deliberately to stop my legal movement. Then unfortunately had to try MIAM which the former partner rejected. Now my only option is to apply for the full financial disclosure in court, but I can't afford to have a legal representation. Is that feasible to represent yourself in court?

Family Law solicitor here, what is your solicitor doing for you that you're 18 months in, £25k down and another £5k coming up with no resolution in sight!??

And I've finished some high value divorces!

Hi, that was two years ago now. After I posted that it took another two months and ended up costing me £40k! My first solicitor wasted a lot of money chasing money my ex didn’t have and the second solicitor spent a lot of money finding the little money he did have but was trying to hide! Two years on and I’m drowning in credit card debt. Very depressing but some light at the end of the tunnel…