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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

The family car

44 replies

LDA123 · 14/08/2023 12:18

Hi,
4 children live with me, ex has them every other weekend Friday to Sunday. Car is a joint asset. I pay 100% of the costs. It is owned and registered to him (from when we were married).

He takes the car Friday to Sunday when he has the kids leaving me without transport. He doesn’t own a car but has access to his Mum’s smaller second car (which we gave to them) plus his family have another car. They all live locally and most of the time, the kids stay there.

I want to keep the family car Friday night and Sat day and drop off Sat PM. He has said no. Basically both of my parents are unwell and I want to be able to visit without the children and neither are local.

Do I have any rights here? Do I have to hand over the car?

I suggested I use the our old car instead of the bigger family car but they said no.

We are trying to sort the finances but when finalised, I am arguing for the car to be transferred to me as I have the kids most of the time.

Thanks for any help. I feel so sick of it all today.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 14/08/2023 12:34

As it stands you have given the smaller car away. It’s no longer a marital asset. It’s not in his gift to loan it to you. His family don’t have any obligation to sort out your marital differences by lending him or you their cars.

He has title to the bigger car and I think it is reasonable it is used in the interests of the children. Therefore I can see why he wants to stick with the shared arrangement.

How much is the car worth?

Original poster
LDA123 · 14/08/2023 12:47

Only a few thousand.

Thanks for your comments. Legally they don’t have to give him the use of the smaller car I know but they do and it is what he uses. He can transport all 4 children in the smaller car but not with a passenger (the eldest sits in front).

He rarely takes them out anywhere so it normally just sits on the drive all weekend.

Legally though, it’s seems like I have no choice then.

OP posts:
caringcarer · 14/08/2023 15:15

He sounds like a bastard. I can see why you are divorcing him. The car will have to be declared as an asset so if he gets the car you will get an equal amount to make up for it or vice versa.

Original poster
LDA123 · 14/08/2023 15:28

Yes I’m happy for to include it and have done so on the Form E. Issue is, we’re miles away from sorting the finances so what happens in the meanwhile legally? Is it mine or his?!

OP posts:
Original poster
LDA123 · 14/08/2023 15:29

LemonTT · 14/08/2023 12:34

As it stands you have given the smaller car away. It’s no longer a marital asset. It’s not in his gift to loan it to you. His family don’t have any obligation to sort out your marital differences by lending him or you their cars.

He has title to the bigger car and I think it is reasonable it is used in the interests of the children. Therefore I can see why he wants to stick with the shared arrangement.

How much is the car worth?

As soon as we have finalised the divorce, it will be transferred into my name (as the primary caregiver) so he won’t have use of it then.

OP posts:
GrumpyPanda · 14/08/2023 15:34

Are there any carsharing schemes near where you live? If so, that might be an option when you're without the children.

Darknightsahead · 14/08/2023 16:07

I had this arrangement with my ex when we split for about 8 months. It worked but I agree it was really annoying having no car for days on end. The car was in my name but I agreed whoever had the kids should have the car.

We now have our own cars which I realise we probably should have did right at the beginning.

Can you afford a car at the moment OP, or even a wee run around for yourself?

Original poster
LDA123 · 14/08/2023 17:10

I can’t afford my own car no, I literally have no savings.

I also don’t want to look into renting a car if I need it as (a) I can’t afford it and (b) it’s a bit hard to take when I pay 100% of the costs for the family car.

OP posts:
Original poster
LDA123 · 14/08/2023 17:13

We’ve been doing this for 15 months now. He is dragging his feet and not yet completed the Form E so we have stuck with the financial negotiations.

Meanwhile, both of my parents have cancer and I can’t get to them. It would invoke multiple trains / taxi (especially my Dad as he lives rural) over multiple hours. Plus the cost.

Its just so sickening when he never takes them anywhere anyway, they mostly stay at his Mums and have 3 cars sitting on the drive all weekend.

OP posts:
Justcashnosweets · 14/08/2023 17:18

Could you not drop the children at his on a Friday, then go straight to your parents so he can't have the car? He sounds like a dick, 2 cars on the driveway and he needs yours???

Original poster
LDA123 · 14/08/2023 17:30

I might do this. It will cause WW3 but I’m not sure I care at the moment, some things are more important.

i have been searching all day for a definite legal position but I can’t find anything. It all talks about what happens on divorce but obviously we are not divorced yet.

OP posts:
Justcashnosweets · 14/08/2023 17:39

I would honestly just do it. You are right, its more important that you are there for your parents than pander to him. He has access to cars, its not like he will be stranded.

Soonenough · 14/08/2023 17:42

How nasty to begrudge you the car just for the sake of it . Going to visit your ailing parents is not a joyride for you . Creep.

GingerIsBest · 14/08/2023 18:16

what are the costs for the family car? Because if it's in his name but you are paying them all, then it seems to me the answer is to stop paying for the family car (which is really his car), tell him he can have the car the whole time and then use the money you are saving to start paying for your own car.

User63847484848 · 14/08/2023 18:25

Sounds like something my ex would do
he wants you to be stuck not able to go anywhere on the weekends without the kids

Original poster
LDA123 · 14/08/2023 19:30

The car costs are about £100 per month. Would take a long time to save up to buy a car to fit the 5 of us.

I don’t think it is “his” car is it? We bought it when we were married so it’s a matrimonial asset, I don’t think it matters it’s registered to him. It still goes in the pot to divide with the rest of the joint assets.

OP posts:
Whyohwhyohwhy123 · 14/08/2023 19:34

The person on the v5 is the registered keeper not the owner. It states that clearly on the front

Viewfrommyhouse · 14/08/2023 19:38

LDA123 · 14/08/2023 19:30

The car costs are about £100 per month. Would take a long time to save up to buy a car to fit the 5 of us.

I don’t think it is “his” car is it? We bought it when we were married so it’s a matrimonial asset, I don’t think it matters it’s registered to him. It still goes in the pot to divide with the rest of the joint assets.

Whose name is on the sales invoice for the car? The name on the V5 is neither here nor there when it comes to legal ownership.

KomodoDodo · 14/08/2023 19:41

My ex sold two cars (one that had been gifted to me by my mother but we had registered in his name) without consulting me, one when we were loving together still. These men seem not to give two hoots about whats best for anyone but themselves. Have you a solicitor yet? You may be entitled to some money from other joint assets to get a car…if there are any joint assets that are suitable?

Original poster
LDA123 · 14/08/2023 19:56

I thought it was irrelevant who is the register owner and keeper when it’s a matrimonial asset? It’s marital property (like the family home) so split 50/50 unless agreed otherwise. When the divorce is finalised, part of the settlement is that it will be transferred to me as I look after the children and do everything for them most of the time (except 4 nights a month).

OP posts:
Original poster
LDA123 · 14/08/2023 19:58

There are no other assets excluding family home (have agreed to sell) and pension. Well he has £40k plus in bank from a redundancy but I’ve agreed not to touch that.

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 14/08/2023 20:03

LDA123 · 14/08/2023 19:58

There are no other assets excluding family home (have agreed to sell) and pension. Well he has £40k plus in bank from a redundancy but I’ve agreed not to touch that.

I would be changing my mind sharpish if he carries on.

LemonTT · 14/08/2023 20:04

It is a marital asset and is being used by both parties of the marriage. Which is a reasonable position.

If you just “take it”, he can enforce title. Then where will it leave you?

You have a deal that will give you the car. Are you really going to throw oil on the fire over an arrangement you agreed to?

Do your parents have a car you can use or can them subsidise your travel?

CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 14/08/2023 20:04

Whoever has the bill of sale (ie paid for it in the beginning or signed the credit agreement) owns the car. It is not joint asset until the divorce. Cars are not like houses where there can be more than one owner.

Darknightsahead · 14/08/2023 20:23

Can I also just point out that if it’s on PCP or leased it’s only the equity in the car that is the matrimonial asset. So if you are in negative equity then it’s legally your exes car regardless of who is paying for it. If it’s paid outright then I would be saying to him that you have a claim on it so he either pays your half now or he lets you use it when you need it.

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