Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Partners ex wife wants rent and child maintenance can she ?

35 replies

BananaCocktails · 25/02/2023 16:44

Partners ex wife on him and was discovered she was in a rshop with another man for a year and a half so he moved out when affair was discovered a year ago and she has remained living in their rented home with 5 year old son

Rented home is in partners name and tenancy cannot be transferred to her name as it is a legacy tenancy from his father

A few months back She has been quite volatile toward me calling me names such as prostitute and harassing me on social media to the point I was going to call the police but didn't because partners 5 year old son lives with her - she didn't know he'd met someone else but saw a picture online

He has been staying with his mum all this time until they sort who gets to live in the house, he waited a bit until she calms down as she was so angry he met me ( which is after they split ) and threatening to stop him seeing his son - hasn't let his son stay over at partners mums and son isn't allowed near me , which is hurtful as I have a 7 year old daughter who sees my partner regularly

I am a good person with a big heart and I wish I hadn't got involved with all this baggage

I care for this man and I've made it clear I'm not ready to move him into mine yet -it's too soon for me

He pays all the rent and council tax on the house where she lives and has asked that child maintenance start taking payments and they have - he also pays water bill and after school club

His argument not to pay maintenance is he pays all her rent and council tax , ( tenancy is in his name so he has to ) clubs as she refuses to move out the family home despite earning twice more than he does

As a result he cannot move out of his mums as he is already paying rent for her and is now paying £300 child maintenance on top of that

My question is can they charge him child maintenance if he is already paying rent for her to live ? And other bills ? Can't see anything on line

He said he is going to apply for an occupation order so he can move back into his property and of course keep his sons room , he would like her to move out as it's his flat and was his before he met her and he has an emotional attachment to it because of his father
It's not a question of evicting his son , his son will still have a home there , he just wants wife to move out

Not sure how this works as it's a rented home and he is becoming distressed because of the payments
It's none of my business I know but hearing him talk about it is giving me anxiety

sorry for the essay

OP posts:
Original poster
BananaCocktails · 25/02/2023 16:44

Sorry meant to say partners ex wife cheated on him

OP posts:
Original poster
BananaCocktails · 25/02/2023 16:47

Also he would like to pay cms for son - but not the rent , but he has to as tenancy in his name and can’t be transferred

OP posts:
monomatapea · 25/02/2023 16:48

Forget all the who did what to cause the split.

He needs to chuck her out his house and pay maintenance instead.

LemonTT · 25/02/2023 16:49

He has had 18 months to either assign the tenancy to her or get an occupation order. He probably won’t get the order if she is the resident parent. So signing it over would have made sense.

Ameadowwalk · 25/02/2023 16:53

You say you have a big heart, but this is not your problem and you should not be in a situation where it is causing you anxiety or you feel pressured to sort it out for him when you must have only known him a relatively short time. You have your own DC to take care of.
Citizen’s Advice will be able to provide advice, I would have thought, or a solicitor.

JoyceMeadowcroft1 · 25/02/2023 16:55

He needs to move back in. He has every right to be there.

SeasonFinale · 25/02/2023 16:57

LemonTT · 25/02/2023 16:49

He has had 18 months to either assign the tenancy to her or get an occupation order. He probably won’t get the order if she is the resident parent. So signing it over would have made sense.

So you missed the important part about it being a legacy tenancy and he can't sign it over to her.

He should definitely go for the occupation order and also actually divorce her as it seems she may not be his ex wife.

DelphiniumBlue · 25/02/2023 16:59

Is it even possible for him sign it over if it is a legacy tenancy? And doesn't the tenancy depend on him living there if it is ( as I assume) a council or housing association tenancy?
He needs to check with the landlord what the possibilities are - start by checking the tenancy agreement carefully. Check with Shelter, too.
Meanwhile, I don't think rent or other payments affect the amount of CMS you pay. Again, easy to check with CMS.
It's a complicated situation and I don't think there will be easy answers, he does need specialist advice.

monomatapea · 25/02/2023 16:59

Should she even be living there if he isn't?

CharmedUndead · 25/02/2023 17:00

You should stay well out of it. It's between them. You should be thinking about how he handles this and what it says about him as a partner, not about advising him or sorting it out for him.

Original poster
BananaCocktails · 25/02/2023 17:01

@SeasonFinale there is a divorce in progress but he’s waiting on her to sign

others are right tbh and I have had enough , I will give him the advice above and tell him it’s his issue -although it feels quite mean
It will take weight off me

OP posts:
Original poster
BananaCocktails · 25/02/2023 17:02

@DelphiniumBlue yes it is a housing association tenancy

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 25/02/2023 17:03

If she is claiming benefit then I'm pretty sure she can still get Universal credit rent element even if the tenancy is in his name. She needs to declare it an untidy tenancy. But as another poster says, why on earth is she still there if the tenancy is in his name? She needs to apply for social housing herself.

JettersonStokes · 25/02/2023 17:14

It is worrying that he has lived out of the property for a length of time as that might mean he loses the tenancy so he needs to check the particulars of the tenancy agreement. That needs to be done today.

Once he knows about that then he can proceed with arranging to move back in.

Original poster
BananaCocktails · 25/02/2023 17:15

Could he claim housing benefit himself if he is not living there? He is paying the rent after all . Apparently she doesn’t claim any universal credit as she earns above the threshold.

OP posts:
Clymene · 25/02/2023 17:20

No, he can't claim housing benefit for a house he's not living in

gogohmm · 25/02/2023 17:21

Legally he can't do this, she needs to leave his house.

Reugny · 25/02/2023 17:22

BananaCocktails · 25/02/2023 17:15

Could he claim housing benefit himself if he is not living there? He is paying the rent after all . Apparently she doesn’t claim any universal credit as she earns above the threshold.

No.

He either needs to kick her out or sign the tenancy solely over to her as part of their financial agreement in their divorce.

As she is the one who is living with their child and the child needs somewhere to live, he should do the latter.

However to do either of them he first needs to:

  1. Find out the rules of his tenancy governing being the martial home and divorce. (He should be able to assign the tenancy to her but he needs to check.)
  2. Get a solicitor to write to the Housing Association with whatever he requests
Reugny · 25/02/2023 17:26

Oh and once she takes on the tenancy he is no longer liable for any bills, council tax and the rent on the property.

The only reason he should keep the tenancy rather than her is if he has a disability and the housing was specially adapted for it. Though he could end up in a legal fight which he may not win if his child is homeless.

Oh and on a personal note give him a two week deadline to find out the rules of assigning his tenancy and talking to a solicitor about it. If he doesn't do anything in those two weeks dump him.

millymollymoomoo · 25/02/2023 17:57

Why should she automatically get the tenancy??

we know nothing about their relative earnings and situation

why should she get to live rent and bills free ffs

he needs to push through the divorce and finances, get her out and then pay child maintenance

whats stopping him moving back in ?

cherish123 · 25/02/2023 17:59

He needs to ask her to leave and he can have DC with him.

Original poster
BananaCocktails · 25/02/2023 18:08

Reugny · 25/02/2023 17:22

No.

He either needs to kick her out or sign the tenancy solely over to her as part of their financial agreement in their divorce.

As she is the one who is living with their child and the child needs somewhere to live, he should do the latter.

However to do either of them he first needs to:

  1. Find out the rules of his tenancy governing being the martial home and divorce. (He should be able to assign the tenancy to her but he needs to check.)
  2. Get a solicitor to write to the Housing Association with whatever he requests
Show quote history

@Reugny it is a legacy tenancy. Unfortunately, you cannot sign over legacy tenancies to anybody else’s name so as it’s in his name he legally has to pay the rent. She refuses to move out. He said he will put in for an occupation order instead

OP posts:
monomatapea · 25/02/2023 18:14

He needs to move in to his house.

Shes taking the absolute piss.

Original poster
BananaCocktails · 25/02/2023 18:18

@Reugny thankyou

thankyou all for your advice

weight I don’t need right now ridiculous situation

OP posts:
Reugny · 25/02/2023 18:18

BananaCocktails · 25/02/2023 18:08

@Reugny it is a legacy tenancy. Unfortunately, you cannot sign over legacy tenancies to anybody else’s name so as it’s in his name he legally has to pay the rent. She refuses to move out. He said he will put in for an occupation order instead

Show quote history

Social tenancies, so council and housing association tenancies, are different completely different from private tenancies.

This means if you are married or in a civil partnership then your spouse/partner could have a claim to the tenancy if they live there and it's the marital home. (Most of the cases I know about are death not divorce.)

Swipe left for the next trending thread