Partners ex wife wants rent and child maintenance can she ?

[BananaCocktails]

Partners ex wife on him and was discovered she was in a rshop with another man for a year and a half so he moved out when affair was discovered a year ago and she has remained living in their rented home with 5 year old son

Rented home is in partners name and tenancy cannot be transferred to her name as it is a legacy tenancy from his father

A few months back She has been quite volatile toward me calling me names such as prostitute and harassing me on social media to the point I was going to call the police but didn't because partners 5 year old son lives with her - she didn't know he'd met someone else but saw a picture online

He has been staying with his mum all this time until they sort who gets to live in the house, he waited a bit until she calms down as she was so angry he met me ( which is after they split ) and threatening to stop him seeing his son - hasn't let his son stay over at partners mums and son isn't allowed near me , which is hurtful as I have a 7 year old daughter who sees my partner regularly

I am a good person with a big heart and I wish I hadn't got involved with all this baggage

I care for this man and I've made it clear I'm not ready to move him into mine yet -it's too soon for me

He pays all the rent and council tax on the house where she lives and has asked that child maintenance start taking payments and they have - he also pays water bill and after school club

His argument not to pay maintenance is he pays all her rent and council tax , ( tenancy is in his name so he has to ) clubs as she refuses to move out the family home despite earning twice more than he does

As a result he cannot move out of his mums as he is already paying rent for her and is now paying £300 child maintenance on top of that

My question is can they charge him child maintenance if he is already paying rent for her to live ? And other bills ? Can't see anything on line

He said he is going to apply for an occupation order so he can move back into his property and of course keep his sons room , he would like her to move out as it's his flat and was his before he met her and he has an emotional attachment to it because of his father
It's not a question of evicting his son , his son will still have a home there , he just wants wife to move out

Not sure how this works as it's a rented home and he is becoming distressed because of the payments
It's none of my business I know but hearing him talk about it is giving me anxiety

sorry for the essay

Sorry I missed it was a legacy tenancy.

He needs to get her kicked out via an occupational order as he can't assign it to her.

He needs to talk to a solicitor to confirm there is no harassment by her to him as lots of people get a non-molestation order and an occupational order together.

Oh and tell him he needs a financial order with his divorce so she has no claim to any of his other assets, and the fact the CMS is involved is good for him.

They literally split a year ago, this has nothing to do with you at all you can't have been dating long and already he sees alot of your child ??? Wtf is actually going on in your head 😐

It’s not mean, it is setting boundaries.

Look after yourself and your DD. Unwind this relationship a bit until you see if he can sort this out, so you are not in a position of being verbally abused by his ex and feeling responsible for his housing issues. In other words, put a bit of distance in place. Otherwise it is only a matter of time before it becomes your problem to the extent that he is living with you and your DD. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

(I speak as a single mum, although my DC are older now. You may not feel like it, but with a generous spirit and in a society which expects you to couple up, you are so vulnerable to being taken advantage of. He does need to take responsibility for this issue and also ensure that you are not in a position to be verbally abused.

I think I'd be playing her at her own game me. Tell her she needs to move out, or he's giving up the house. He can't afford rents on 2 places, something has to give. She might go voluntary then.

Or she can give up the CM, since he's already effectively paying it.

@booboo82 my question has nothing to do with him seeing my DD
Regularly isn’t daily but he does come round to keep me company on some evenings and on some weekends, not all
its been 13/14 months but just said a year should have said 13/14 months

@Ameadowwalk thank you for your kind words
in fact thanks for everyone’s advice constructive and kind
this has really opened my eyes

1. will try to distance myself from this situation understanding that it doesn’t have much to do with me so when he talks about it I’m going to just keep encouraging him to save for a solicitor, only thing Is the expense!

I won’t let him move into mine , too soon I will definitely ask him however to resolve this situation if we are going to move forward @Reugny I will mention the order you said thanks for all your advice

If you are paying for your ex-spouses housing and you are not financially benefiting from it yourself, this is deductible from the child maintenance you pay. In the short term, your partner should apply to be assessed by CMS and will hopefully achieve a nil figure by virtue of the rent he is paying.

Longer term, I guess if the secure tenancy is only available to him, then she really ought to be forced to move out. If she earns double what he does that shouldn't be a problem. Failing that, maybe check the lease on sub-letting? Maybe it isn't allowed and he can have the tenancy terminated that way?

I agree with all PPs that he should call her bluff and move back in.

Though as an aside, OP, are you 100% certain you have the true story about how their relationship ended? Because her over the top reaction to her ex getting a new partner and his total lack of spine in standing up for himself does make me question the “she cheated” narrative a bit.

I disagree, this sounds exactly like my situation. Until I got cheated on repeatedly and got counselling, I was in a marriage just like this one with an abusive and controlling wife. Not violent abusive but just constantly demanding and demeaning, whilst enjoying her separate life with lots of other men. Two years after the divorce I still daren't tell her about my new relationship for fear of how she would react and what this would do to the DCs.

I don't question the "she cheated" narrative at all. It looks like a textbook case of coercively controlling abusive wife to me.

This