Should Cm increase?

[Bemyclementine]

I have 2 dc, 6 and 7, sperated over 5 yrs from their dad. He suggested an amount if CM when he left,which I was happy with. I was on mat leave, essentially 2 babies.

But, the amount hasn't increased, yet my costs have, massively. Cost of living - food, bills, fuel, etc. Also, 2 babies used to go to a baby group for £2 a week and swimming for £4. School uniform, shoes, trainers, wellies- all needed for school . Pe kits, forest school kits, swimming stuff.

Now, I have to pay for after school childcare, (he never, ever does a school tun, never sees thdm in the week) swimming lessons (essential imo) other clubs such as Beavers (not essential but very good to do) football - youngest is obsessed with.

My question is, should I expect cm to go up? His income has very def gone up, as have my child related outgoings.

@Reugny I won't be asking him for anything.

I think I'd go to cms to be honest. Surely he isn't planning on living with his mum forever and therefore needs to pay himself a wage to get a mortgage ?

Ah ok, I'm sorry he's such a knob!

@amiold honestly wouldn't put it past him. He could be renting somewhere but prefers being looked after.

@GoodChat thank you, me too.

I think you should definitely mention it to him because it doesn't sound fair but it's totally up to you. He sounds a bit of knob

I think a critical factor courts should take into consideration now is what the parents were doing before children. 30 or 40 years ago people often had their children in their 20s whereas now it is often much later. It means divorce settlements ought to be very different for two key reasons.

The first is that you can much more easily tell now who gave up a career and who didn't. Treating my envelope stuffer ex-wife like she'd sacrificed a career was absurd. The first 10 years of her working life show she had no ambition or intention to better herself. Divorce should have put her in the position she would have been in before marriage and no more than that.

The second is that the "breadwinner" tends to have a much shorter time period to fix the damage caused by the divorce which makes splits that deviate from 50/50 and clean breaks absurd. Where once a mesher order for example might have ended when people were in their mid 40s, now they can drag on until people are in their mid 50s when getting another mortgage is impossible. Mesher Orders and best endeavours clauses on mortgages should not be allowed to continue beyond one of the parties turning age 45.

I’ve misplaced my tiny violin. Damn.

That's okay. If you're trying to stand up for people like my ex-wife then you probably don't have the talent to play one or the inclination to learn 😂

@BetterFuture1985 you have made this thread all about you and how badly the ex has treated you.... what a lazy cow she is.... bla bla blah
Anyway @Bemyclementine back to your thread. I would do a spreadsheet for him with some bits he could pick up for you. With prices etc. you need to tackle this. Is his mum onside? There is an obvious coat of living crisis at the moment and he is clearly underpaying. I would be expecting double that.
And remember he may fiddle the books but he also may not want people sniffing round in them. Two can play that game :)

Not really, I've just been pointing out why a lot of the "advice" on this site is rubbish, because so much of it comes from a blinkered, one sided, word avoidant, parasitic diaspora.

What you are suggesting is a complete waste of time. CMS is a calculation based on someone's taxable gross income that comes out at 15% for 1 child, 20% for 2 and 25% for 3 or more and then further reduced by 1/7 for each night spent with the payer per week and also further reduced if the payer lives with other children.

The only correct answer to this question is "ask CMS to do a calculation. If it looks on the low side, ask them to investigate if there is any diverting of income going on." It might be further answered with "whilst prices have risen by around 20% in the last five years, unfortunately wages have only increased by about 6% in the same time period. Therefore your £300 a month may only increase to around £318 a month whilst your costs might be a lot more than that."

But this simple answer - as ever on this forum - has gotten lost in a barrage of absolute crap from people who hold the same blinkered views and double standards as my ex-wife. The kind of people who judge payers harshly if they only pay the "minimum" (or to the rest of us, the right amount) but ignore their own role as an adult capable of earning money; the kind who think payers should pay whatever they spend, even if they can't budget and the fantasists convinced their must be a pot of gold hidden somewhere. If people are entitled to post dodgy opinions here, I feel it is a perfectly legitimate response to address each and every one of the views expressed.

@BetterFuture1985 the only barage has come from you, with your own clear agenda and massive chip on your shoulder about how hard done by you are. If you'd bothered to read my posts you would see that your experience bears no resemblance to mine.

Yes but just because you expect it doesn't mean you should receive. Not everyone earns enough to pay £600 a month child maintenance do they.

@Stomacharmeleon thank you. Re hus mum, no sadly not. I used to have a great relationship with her but she has withdrawn herself completely. I'm not surprised, she has to live with him and is subjected to his behaviour now. According to what the dc tell me

I was responding to the barrage of crap from others that equally bore no resemblance to your situation. People will come here and read such crap and get silly ideas that wastes a lot of time and money, so it needs to be refuted. This thread has included nonsense about estranged people being entitled to P60s, fantastical hidden pots of gold and entitlement issues the level of which suggests the authors need psychological help (or maybe a proper job).

Besides which, the answer never changes when the subject is CM, because it's formula driven. So the answer is exactly the same for you and every other payee regardless of situation.

@BetterFuture1985 every single thread on CM is 'merailed' by you posting about your particular situation with your ex-wife. It's really tiresome.

Besides which, the answer never changes when the subject is CM, because it's formula driven. So the answer is exactly the same for you and every other payee regardless of situation.

except that’s not exactly the same because not everyone, including the OP, use CMS or their formula for calculation.

So the answer does change. Even though that doesn’t suit you.

@OneForTheRoadThen LOVE 'merailed'

"Merailed"

Classic.

But you forget that people come here and read this stuff and try and use it for advice. They shouldn't, because it's rubbish (even some of the solicitors on here give bad advice because they simply don't have enough information to go on) but people do. So it's never just about the OP once these threads get going; often there's a lot of very bad advice that needs to be challenged.