I didn't leave 🙁
Things got very very bad, and of course he manipulated me to stay saying he will change. Best behaviour for a few months, however now the usual stuff is happening.
I still have the house, as i know deep down i need to go, but the fear is holding me back.
Today i was at my rental house, chilling before a night shift (student nurse) knock at the door and its him. Demands to come in, searches the house saying i have someone in there. Then starts ranting " oh feet up chilling, watching fucking tv is it, fucking resting are we"
I managed to get him out, where he was accusing me of having a affair, using him, uni has changed me, my new friends are brain washing me etc etc
i walked off and he rung shouting i "looked dodgy, you were expecting someone else at the door weren't you" on and on ranting.. 🙁
I dont know what to do, im so scared of going to that house permanently, as he will torture me clearly, wont let me go, accuse me of all sorts.
He manipulates me 24/7, so when we try to talk, EVERYTHING gets twisted back onto me. Its ME with the issues, its me whos abusive, he has tried everything. Denies calling me shit mum, shit wife, crap person, mental. ice queen, fucked uo etc when i say these names hurt me.. round and round we go..
In all honesty i feel suicidal the last few months 😭Daily thoughts of ending my life, whats the point, he wont leave me go, he is so manipulative its made me unwell..
My 3 gorgeous boys, the only thing keeping me here xxx