Ex’s father extremely wealthy (millionaire) - impact of financial settlement?

[Nearlyalldone]

Hi all,

Just wanted to check something with you. Currently at the beginning states of divorcing my ex and getting the documentation for the financial settlement prepared.

My ex’s father is a very wealthy businessman (millionaire). He’s at retirement age but continues to run his business.

Does my father-in-law’s wealth have any impact on our financial settlement? I’d very much like to stay in the family home with the children (I have a ‘lives with’ order for them and they are in my care the majority of the time). It would be possible for me to remortgage to buy my ex out but this would leave me with very tight finances. My ex earns at least £20,000 extra per year than me, receives bonuses/shares, has significantly higher savings… and has a dad who is a millionaire(!) and is very likely to help my ex out with purchasing a new property.

Thanks for your help

You'd be better off going ahead with the divorce and then remarrying an elderly rich man.

Whether you think he needs his share or not he's still entitled to it. If his Dad chooses to help him later is entirely their business not yours. I can't believe what I read on MN sometimes.

My FIL is also wealthy, he recently ( a year ago) sold a property and gave my H's brother a significant amount of money. As he knew H and I were having issues he held onto H's half. As soon as we are divorced H will receive this. I won't see a penny. It is what it is, it's his money to do with as he pleases and has nothing to do with me. FWIW they tried to pretend he hadn't sold the property to me - which is a bit childish but hey ho!

People are being massive assholes on here, as usual. I get what you’re saying but unfortunately I don’t think there is a way to have this taken into account. Maybe if ex was a beneficiary of a trust or something already but if there are no legal links apart from being likely to inherit then I can’t see how a court could take this into account, as anything could happen (they become estranged, FIL gambles if all away).

The only way this could help you is if your ex is a very reasonable person and takes this into account himself.

Op as others have said, it doesn’t work that way, Ie his dad could give him money so you could share in that benefit and get more from the settlement.

even Inheritance at this stage would be ring fenced so you couldn’t benefit. Effectively the legal position is you are not entitled to benefit from your in-laws during a divorce.

The only way this could help you is if your ex is a very reasonable person and takes this into account himself

who does that`? Says well my dad might give me money or I might inherit at some point so I think I should give more than I actually have in rhe divorce.

Wow. This is easily top 3 most grabby questions I've seen on mumsnet.

What a scrounged after his Dads money. Is that why you married him?

No, you can't argue Rx doesn't need HIS money because his DAD has some. What if Dad refuses to help? What if he does tomorrow and leaves it all to me??

He might reasonably say for our kids sake, you don't have to buy me out, Dad's offered to help with a new house and I'd rather the kids didn't lose their home or go without. He doesn't have to of course, but not everyone hates their ex and needs to make their lives as hard as possible

Surely that is for the father of the children to deal with when the time comes?

Agree. It depends how well you get on.

I was kinder than I needed to be, because my ex's family situation was dramatically different to mine, and I knew I would be gifted money from my parents.

And we still got on, and I didn't want him in financial hardship when I could help. It was a divorce, a way to make the future work for us all. I wasn't exacting revenge.

But I appreciate not many divorces are actually that amicable.

To be clear

1. you both have to declare your financial assets as they stand at point of seperation legally. Whilst that does include a load of stuff, it doesn’t include “ ifs” and “ maybes” . It’s what you each actually have in your possession at that moment
2. the court is concerned with the law with what is called what is called “fair settlement “ when either sealing a consent order or making the agreement through a hearing. “ fair settlement “ is about future needs. Past behaviour has nowt to do with it. There is a criteria that looks at future potential earnings - but that’s it.there isn’t, for instance, a clause for future inheritance because the law cannot be certain on that or anything else to what someone outside of the legal marriage can or should do with their money. No court can seal an order based on telling a third party what they must do with their money. The law simply does not provide for that.

unless you can show stbex dad has given regular income to his son, that could that be considered as part of his regular income on the financial declaration, you are doing a lot of wishful thinking.

I know accepting that you’ll be poorer is very hard, the future without the financial benefits your marriage bought ( as all marriages do for a host of reasons) is scary. No, your not being grabby as some poster state, you’re probably right his dad will help him, but that is his dads prerogative and it will be nothing to do with you as stbex will not be your husband, next of kin or anything to do with you. You should plan on what you have, look at how fair settlement applies to your circumstances by clicking on link to ADVICE NOW guides at top of this page . Their guides are really brilliant and may show under fair settlement that you’ll be reasonable in negotiating for some other things you’d not realised like pension sharing orders etc. if you go in amicably, try to avoid a long drawn out, stressful and very expensive legal battle then at least your not wasting any more money than you need to.

Nope. Because there is no guarantee that his dad will give him money. They could have a falling out. So it wouldn't be fair on him to count it as part of his assets.

Also it's not really his problem that he comes from a wealthy family and you don't.

Any money that your DH gets within a year of divorce is suspect. In your position definitely get legal advice - there are agreements you can put in place that factor in gifts / inheritances.